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taxecuts

30 M Austin, TX

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:14pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Leo
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Just an ancient demi-god from a long forgotten cult of cat worshippers. Lookin' for love and a sacrifice before the blood orgy.

My anaconda don't
want
none
unless you got
puns, hon.
What I’m doing with my life
Going to a stage somewhere.

I want to open a heavy metal ice cream shop called Bark at the Spoon. We'd feature such alluring flavors as:

Praining Blood (Pralines, dried cherries, and black cherry compote)
Iron Raisin (Rum raisin w/maple and chocolate sauce)
Butter Pecanthrax (Pecan, orange, sweet cream butter sauce, powdered sugar)
Napalm Death by Chocolate (Red chili infused dark chocolate)
Metallicrumble (Oreo crumbles, or something was once pretty good but are now broken pieces of trash)
HELME(n)T(hol) (Mint/raspberry swirl)

I took an occupational arrow to the knee in Cleveland, moved here in October to work through some growing debt. Yes, I'm currently shacked up with my parents. It's not permanent, and I promise, I am a high-functioning adult human. With a lotta bills.
I’m really good at
Being right in the god damn way.

Staring uncomfortably until the silence is broken by a cacophony of wet, rippling farts.
The first things people usually notice about me
The savage-eyed look of a grim mountain man and the smell of something feral.

"Excuse me, can you not…"
"Yes?"
"Be gigantic, please?"
:/

from friends:

"you're a 300 level communicator"

"lotta surface area"

"your head is so fuckin' small"

her: "you know you look like you're always on the prowl, right?"
me: "like, 'animal hunting' prowl? or 'doing it' prowl?"
her: "both".

"meow"

Ok so that last one was from my cat.
The six things I could never do without
Two evil henchmen.
My colon.
Truckasaurus.
Cats.
"Oooooo, that smell!"
I spend a lot of time thinking about
CAN'TCHA SMELL THAT SMELL?
On a typical Friday night I am
Working. Being an idiot.

Both.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm queer. Pansexual. I've been poly for about five years now. S'bout it, I think.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
If "they're, their, and there" doesn't appear in your profile. C'mon now, if that mattered, would you have *really* come to the internet for dating?

If you've got no hang-ups about dating a guy who (currently) shares the same kitchen with his parents.

You want to start a YouTube channel with me.

THE SMELL THAT'S AROUND YOOOUUUUU!