MC David on the mic,
If you wanna get fresh then take a hike.
Cos this ain't no song about you and me,
This song be a song about me, me, me.
Me, is this fella who is hella swell and charming.
Me, is this dude who so handsome it's alarming.
Me, is this brotha from the streets never farming,
But if you looking for Mista Nature, then check out mah flowa garden!
Nature, yo, lemme tell you about my nature.
Being on OkCupid fa sho I'm gonna rate ya.
And if you is sweet, is kind, is nice,
And it never hurt a brotha if you easy on da eyez,
I'll MESSAGE, (what!) MESSAGE you girl,
Cos if I send a message than I wanna be in yo world....
(Broken record needle stop, new record some Boyz ii Men slow jam shit)
Girl, if you get my message and come and visit my profile, and then not message me back, that hurts, baby. Baby it hurts so much. But that's alright. I'm here for you, just message me girl. Message me baby.
That took me like an hour. Fuck, okCupid, don't ask me what I'm doing with my life. This. This is what I just did with my life. And I accidentally hit the wrong button and deleted the whole thing, so I did it from memory and I fucking did it, and I'm sitting at a bar while I'm doing this, bouncing up and down at my seat, and people probably think that I'm some yupster wannabe hip hop artist. But whatever, this is what we are driven to do in the name of finding a cool girl to have a drink with, right? Sending a million messages to girls who have full inboxes. But at least I can have some fun, because otherwise, what's the point?