I am looking for someone with a similar sense of humor, someone who looks at the world cynically and skeptically and who feels this is a necessary process to undertake before having an individual understanding of the world. I am also looking for someone who can balance this level of pretentious headiness with dick and fart jokes and the occasional bout of racist, misogynistic, and generally offensive riposte.
What I hope for out of a relationship is to find someone with whom I have both a strong physical and emotional connection that can be boiled down to a very simple notion of: "Hey, you're really fun to hang out with and we clearly enjoy fucking each other. So let's keep doing both!" And over time should that turn into an exclusive relationship, awesome.
What I am not looking for is someone who gets easily overwhelmed by intensity, mistakes my simplicity and directness with "coming on too strong," or who can't say what's on their mind despite how awkward or uncomfortable it might be. There's nothing worse than unspoken tension.