I loooove building and playing with Elder Dragon Highlander decks. (It's called Commander now, but it'll always be EDH in my heart.) If you know what I'm talking about, poke at me--if you show me your decklists, I'll show you mine. I love playing with good-natured people who pull crazy moves, because rest assured I will try to pull crazy moves on you. Good-naturedly.
Other salient facts about me:
I'm a big ole pushover, despite my crusty, cussy exterior. I'm not as smart as I like to think I am. I have a strong skeptical streak; "Science: It works, bitches" is one of the best catch-phrases ever. I am savagely thundertitted, and all my sweaters confirm this fact. I don't like being poked with sharp sticks, but then, I'm not sure who does; however, now that I've brought it up, I'm sure I'll be able to find thousands of pointy-stick-poking fetishists on the Internet.
Speaking of which: I love fucking around on the Internet. I love doing it almost as much as I love doing your mom.
I have left several Advanced User Features undocumented here, but then I wouldn't want to shock your delicate constitution.
I used to be the number 1 Google search result for the exact phrase "I'm curtains." It used to be a weird point of pride. And then I made this profile viewable only by people logged into OkCupid. So much for that ambition.
I am a flava explosion, bitch, and you better like it.
I am not so good at being concise.
I am going to attempt the latter in this one section, just for a change of pace.
Books: I read and love a lot of different genres, from scientific non-fiction to children's books to romance novels to historical fiction to SF/F. My lists are long and tiresome; if you want to know more, message me and we can squee over favorite books indefinitely, because I love me some book talkery. Law school did burn me out a bit on reading, so I mostly read graphic novels these days.
Music: Here are some names--names that I'm typing using my computer's keyboard; names that will then be stored on a server thousands of miles away from me; names that will sooner or later be called up and displayed on your screen; names that you'll be reading shortly. Electrons are pretty fucking cool, aren't they?
Annuals, Andrew Bird, Bat for Lashes, Menomena, Lemon Jelly, Genesis, Ratatat, Belle and Sebastian, The Black Keys, Islands, Broken Social Scene, Röyksöpp, Télépopmusik, Radiohead, Boards of Canada, Four Tet, Band of Horses, Wolf Parade, Beck, The Decemberists, PJ Harvey, Bloc Party, Blur, Interpol, The Shins, Rogue Wave, Underworld, John Vanderslice, Broadcast, The Crystal Skulls, Stars, Feist, Silversun Pickups, Sufjan Stevens, Nada Surf, Good News for People Who Love Bad News, Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Yankee Foxtrot Hotel, OK Go's Oh No, Jurassic 5, old-school funk and hip hop, The Local Division, Komeda, A.C. Newman, Kaiser Chiefs, Fiona Apple, Regina Spektor, Basement Jaxx, Mogwai, Cut Chemist, Troublemakers, Neutral Milk Hotel, Grandaddy, The Magnetic Fields, The Postal Service, Iron and Wine, The Kinks, The Beatles, Electric 6, MC Chris, Franz Ferdinand, Swingle Singers.
Composers: The top four are JS Bach, Beethoven, Rachmaninoff and Tchaikovsky. When it comes to Dead White Composer music, I seem to go for either terrifyingly precise and mathematical, or big and emotional and messy. I'm currently working on getting to know more Ravel and Prokofiev.
Performers: Glenn Gould, Murray Perahia, Arcadi Volodos, Artur Rubinstein, Nigel Kennedy, Jascha Heifetz.
Movies: Some random titles that I really enjoyed and/or thought were particularly excellent: (500) Days of Summer, The Wrestler, Black Swan, No Country for Old Men, The Avengers Movie, Wall-E, The Dark Knight, Ong Bak, Dog Day Afternoon, Pan's Labyrinth, Capote, The Prestige, The Royal Tenenbaums, Jacob's Ladder, Buffalo 66, A Nightmare Before Christmas, Snatch, Yojimbo, Requiem for a Dream, Sin City, Igby Goes Down, Donnie Darko, Spirited Away, Best in Show, This is Spinal Tap, Harold and Maude, Trainspotting, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Adaptation, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, The Transporter, Dead Poets' Society and Cowboy Bebop: Knocking on Heaven's Door
When I get the opportunity to catch up on TV shows via DVD, I enjoy watching Battlestar Galactica, Supernatural, Samurai Champloo, Cowboy Bebop, Sealab 2021, The Office (I've only seen the British version), The Simpsons, Futurama, Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law, Firefly, Scrubs and Monty Python.
Foods: I enjoy all sorts of cuisines; I refuse to pick a favorite. I will say that when I cook, I make a lot of shit from scratch. Angel food cake, pies, quiche, chicken stock, etc. Do not utter "Why don't you just use a cake mix?" in my presence. I WILL CUT YOU. I HAVE VERY SHARP KNIVES. I am Anthony Bourdain's bitch; his Les Halles Cookbook is just about as close to a kitchen bible as it gets for me. What? I'm wayyy better at French cooking than Chinese. I leave the Chinese cooking to my boyfriends (who've so far all been white, ha). It's worked in the past, and I see no reason to change this.
I also have an unhealthy love for processed meat products like ham, hot dogs and Spam, though I don't allow myself to indulge very often. If it has smoke flavoring, I'll eat it, even if I know it's heinous. I blame my mom.
2. Something alive and fuzzy and warm to love and talk to and take care of.
3. Something for my brain to chew over and digest, or material for it to shake and worry and occasionally pummel into submission--text is excellent for this, but moving pictures and conversations work as well.
4. Something to keep my ears happy.
5. A spoon. What's with people using forks to eat rice? That's just weird.
6. Your mom.
My dreams tend to be really goddamn intense.
Never forget: I'm the Original Flavor Queen of Useless, Random Speculation. Don't fall for the Cherry or Diet variations. Their advertising campaigns are slick and shiny, sure, but they always leave this bizarre aftertaste on the back of your tongue. It's quite unpleasant.
Right, now that the semantics are done with, here's the most private thing I'm willing to admit here:
If you don't know what it means, I'm not explaining it to you. It'll just add to my delightful air of mystique.
Another private thing to admit here: Plumbing doesn't matter to me as much as I thought it did, though it matters a bit more than I'd like it to. I'm somewhere between 2.2 and e on the Kinsey Scale.