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37 M Sydney, Australia

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–90
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:10pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Afrikaans (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've decided that a profile that emphasises my good points will probably suffer from comparison and lead to disappointment upon meeting me. I also think that having things in common is overrated. I think what's far, far more important is that your neuroses don't clash. You're either going to find me pretty blackly amusing or I'll depress the Hell out of you. There really doesn't seem to be a middle ground.

I have a good command of the language which I mostly use for graphic, vulgar humour and extended rants about the general shitness of things. If you get as much pleasure from hating things as from loving them, then we might get along. For instance, I like visiting the Inner West for a meal but I'm incredibly tired of talking about bloody great it is with all the middle-management pseudobohemians that have driven the prices up. I like art, but I'll gladly pay to never have to read a wall plaque in a gallery again. I like a good sandwich, but am irritated that they are now called "paninis", "ciabattas" and other words with too many vowels that people like to mispronounce to sound sophisticated. Oh, Dia de los Muertos facepainting. Clever. Original. Fixie bikes are unsafe.

I'm a pessimist, cynic, curmudgeon, nihilist and misanthrope because I am vaguely aware of the rest of the human race and how on Earth could one be anything else in the face of that?

I probably should mention that I'm on the autistic spectrum, so I can be a bit blunt at times. I do try and rein it in, but I tend to have so many competing bad impulses that it's probably best if you're thick-skinned.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm working lots of overtime in online retail as a content manager, scrimping and saving to get enough money together for a small home.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Trivia. I'd be a really boring player on QI.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not sure, but people often ask "what's wrong?"

Also the accent.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I enjoy all good cinema, lowbrow or highbrow, although I seldom go to the actual cinema. I have a very nice home theatre and I'm a bit of a Blu-ray snob. I have also developed a TV boxed set habit.

I'd say my tastes in cinema and literature run towards sci-fi and satire, so I enjoy Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Philip K. Dick and Kurt Vonnegut. Galaxy Quest was great, wasn't it?

Music-wise, I enjoy gloomy, downbeat stuff like Swans, Pink Floyd, Matt Elliott, Depeche Mode, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and The Cure.

I don't have much of a sweet tooth, but I like savoury food of pretty much any description.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Wikipedia, my music collection, earplugs, sunblock, hot baths, and pepper steak pies.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I believe this falls under "the most private thing I'm willing to admit" section.

Imaginary conversations with passing strangers.

Whether or not I should cut my hair.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose? be honest, usually quite tired.

I do make an effort to go out and meet friends at pubs and so on, though.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Ooh, lawdy.

Actually, I have almost no shame and like talking about anything. So ask me.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...any, or multiple of the following apply:

You feel uncomfortable negotiating social rules.

You enjoy crafting spiteful opinions about things.

You are absolutely sure you don't want kids.

You don't think you are Amelie because you like Amelie.

You do not think orange is a viable skin tone.

You think people who write "I love having fun" in their profiles should be shot. Me? I hate having fun. What a chore.

You can laugh at my utterly bleak world view. I laugh at it.