My name is Jeff, I am MARRIED, POLYAMOROUS, and PROUD. I know, how controversial! People often ask me, “You’re married, why are you here?” or they just tell me to "F – off"! That's not nice, polyphobes! Hahaha But more often then not there is just no understanding about what polyamory is or that most reject it out right, such is life. The narrow keep the blinders on and the same mistakes get made over and over again. We have worked to learn from this toxic culture and one of the big ones is serial monogamy. I understand the mono view extremely well and get that the training is very very deep - patriarchy. I do however, oppose it, challenge it, and argue against it for many reasons (perhaps we can converse about it.).
The two questions I get the most are: why am I on here? And what is polyamory? Both excellent questions. As for why am I here. The simple answer is for connection, not just sex or as you young people call it, “hook ups”. I seek substantive relationships that are nourishing and meaningful. That can mean anything the connection expresses. I seek the truly open minded, passionate, intelligent, feminist, rebellious, and humorous women to share my life and love with. I am open to sharing love, intimacy, friendship, conversation, commitment, understanding, ideas, and life long caring. Commitment!? People often say, how can you do that. Okay, it's like not I am defying physics, but I am defying this deformed programmed culture. Its called sharing, responsibility, and loving. People only seek possession and ownership. It is toxic and ludicrous. We must stop possessing and dominating and share our love, our lives. This is what nourishment is and sharing is the key! This leads nicely to the the second question, what is polyamory? I think of it as "multiple loving relationships." Seeking love from "many sources" makes such sense just as giving love to many nourishes human existence. Those who have been in long term relationships know how it goes and you need to share your life. Why would I discard love when I can share love? We believe in sharing love not possessing it, which many seem to think is the only way to love, at least until they divorce ;-) We have been together 19 years and have learned what keeps love alive, sharing it. I "live thoughtfully, love recklessly." By reckless I mean freely, unreservedly, unconditionally. I am hopeless passionate romantic and in a committed open poly marriage. Being open and honest with each other has made our lives so much more real and true. We love each other so deeply and we understand that no one person can be everything that we need to love others and share commitments. I understand that is an absolute turn off for many, the "standard narrative" is strong, but I always encourage the opening of one’s mind and see if there is a connection worth exploring.
A little more about me…
I am a verbose, passionate, tall (6'6"), fit (lean 210lbs...P90X Graduate!!! Twice!!! Just finished P90X2 again!! I feel great! We are doing P90X3 now!), and deepest of thinkers. Health is important to me and I care about my body and spirit. I love yoga and it is part of my weekly workouts. I am trying write a book and have a good draft by this time next year. I am a father of three future resisters to the corpratocracy. A critical philosopher with a heart of a poet, social critic, vegan (a whole food plant based diet), minimalist, rebel, activist, male ally to all women, enemy of the state, and a free thinking resister to this indoctrinated deformed culture (there is no order or identity to detain or constrain my understanding)! To say the least, I am unconventional in the terms of this allegedly free culture. Fighting civilization radical feminist style! Radical feminism is my guide and as a Male Ally to women I am learning to listen, be silent, and understand my male privilege. I access loving kindness and rage in a world of abuse and domination. I seek unity and solidarity with human beings who wish to end abuse for all creatures. My personality is the definition of easygoing, good spirited, fun loving, and love to laugh. I am a mercurial, complex, compassionate, and deep thinker. I have a serious stoic face I am told until I smile (whatever!). Philosophically, I am a militant radical that hides in the conventional world subverting the banality, domination, propaganda, and abuse that clouds our hearts and minds and allows to think atrocity is commonplace. I am after the truth, even if it pisses me and every human being I know off (See Upton Sinclair quote below). I see truth in sharing all transparently. TRUTH and NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!!!! Intense! Right? I love to laugh too…my co-workers who know all about my poly ways call me "The Boss" which is ludicrous, but hilarious. Because I break shit out LIKE A BOSS! or they think I am a womanizer, I AM NOT! Womanizers use, I don't ever use people!
This is a recent article on CNN is talking about polyamory, check it out:
Here are some quotes that illuminate and stir me to reflection:
"It's difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understand it."
- Upton Sinclair
"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free."
"There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other by debt."
- John Adams
"Love is an ideal, marriage a real thing; confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished."
"When the past no longer illuminates the future, the spirit walks in darkness."
"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."
- Bertrand Russell
"We are enriched not by what we possess, but by what we can do without." Immanuel Kant
"He is richest who is content with least, for contentment is the wealth of nature."