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theapplecart

32 M Tallahassee, FL

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 5:21am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello and Hi.

I'm Evan.

I live in Tallahassee for now as it's been treating me pretty well.

I have hands and feet and all the proper bits inside. Hairs even.

I work too much.

A misanthrope with latent hippy tendencies.

Proponent of free love.

Stronger proponent of give me my damn space.

I routinely go out in public in a Tyvek jumpsuit and mask, carry a megaphone and do things over, under and around some drums.

We're Approaching the Things What I Love:
(oh these many storied things what I love)

I love sound! Read on...
I listen to too much music, I listen to field recordings of the refrigerator motor.
I work for two radio stations, one as a disc jockey and another as an engineer at an NPR affiliate.

I am also a REALLY GOOD DJ so THERE.
I can beat the ice level. Any of 'em.

I love the subjective good!
I love good movies, good books, good coffee, good conversation, games (video/board/card/improv/et cetera).

I love comedy! But...
I'm a weird comedy snob. I'm particularly fond of dark comedy, screwball or absurdist/dadaist comedy. Satire is great once in a while but spoofs (e.g. your 'movie' movies) generally turn me off.
See that gamut over there? I totally ran it. Zoooooom!

I love animation. To follow...
Don't care where it comes from as long as it is well made.
Having said that the Japanese own the numbers game and have you been WATCHING that Evangelion reboot? Mercy that's a tasty cookie.

And I love to cook! Go get your knives...
I'm a straight up kitchen geek, I delight in turning an onion into onion flavored dust with my KNIVES. I delight in the judicious application of HEAT to create DELICIOUSNESS. I have no idea what a foodie is...
I cook pretty tasty vegan fare at a local coffee shop.
You eat pretty tasty vegan fare at a local coffee shop.

I love my outside time!
Hiking is splendid. Hiking and camping afterwords even better.
Not much of a water dog but I like kayaking.
I dig in a garden. In the dirt. I point at a spot on a lawn and prickly pear cacti appear.

CODA: I love my dark truths!

I am cheery and good-natured, but if you wanna get HEAVY I will swing some PROUST between my legs and then IT WILL GET HEAVY. IT in this case meaning THE SITUATION.

I don't swear or get loud that much, but I will. If I do, it's almost always in humor, not anger. I get pretty condescending when I'm angry, and all that gutter jive throws me off my rage-game. I get my shouty-jollys on stage.

Wachoo know about shouty-jollys?

DESCRIBE IN GREAT DETAIL YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE SJ'S.
I am a ridiculous man, and I'm comfortable with that.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Having fun with it.

Holding down two jobs while waiting for my ship to come in.

Making a lot of noise.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening.

Organizing.

Big Ideas.

DJing.

Cooking.

Conversation.

Mind Crime.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am a large man and I usually have a large beard straddling the skull, flicking the edges of a large bass/baritone voice. That's the welcoming committee to neighborhood me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Yikes! All at once! Okay here are the things I keep coming back to.

Authors: Pynchon, Updike, David Foster Wallace, John Cheever, Stephen King, Kundera, Bradbury, Chabon, Pushkin, Orwell, lots more. I've been picking up Goodwill copies of The Secret. I have bought over 20 and I just hand them out to everybody, yelling "Have you READ this?". Then my neck goes at a weird angle and little spindly filament things shoot out of my eyes and spin arcane parabolas.

Also, if you have kids older than 8, try them on Ellen Raskin. She's wonderful; easily my favorite author as a child.

Musics: They Might Be Giants, Devo, Mike Patton, Merzbow, John Zorn, The Olivia Tremor Control, Peg Leg Howell and most southern/delta blues, Post Bop and Free Jazz, also really tight piano jazz trios, Autechre, Residents, Bonzo Dog DooDah Band, Cheer Accident, Frank Zappa, Sergei Prokofiev, Man Man, Cannibal Ox, Will Oldham, Frog Eyes, The Violent Femmes, Talking Heads, Ween, Pere Ubu. That's a pretty good run down.

TOP 12 MOVIES THAT ARE IN NO ORDER OKAY GO:
Barton Fink
Marathon Man
The Passion of Joan of Arc
Inland Empire
The Jerk
Dreams That Money Can Buy
Hard Eight
Repo Man
Wet Hot American Summer
Being John Malkovich
Brazil
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai

I love stupid movies but not stupid movies that insist that the audience is stupid as well. Therefore 'The Boondock Saints', tied with 'SuckerPunch', have to be the two worst movies I've ever seen in a theater. Please don't like these movies. Please.

FOOD IS AWESOME.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
ARM
ARM
LEG
LEG
HEAD
TORSO
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
time spent thinking about I a lot.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Spinning in circles, exclusively.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I tend to be down on people in general, but I try really hard to understand the human labyrinth of emotional states, choices made that bring on these states, justifications for these choices and SO ON like some empath GOD and NOW I HAVE YELLED MYSELF BLIND. Let me try again...

The human race is your family, and we all know that you can love your family without really LIKING any of them, yes? Kind of like that I guess, but concerning the LABYRINTH. Back on that ol' labrynth. Working on my Theseus shit, that silly ol' labyrinth. At least in this labyrinth David Bowie isn't shoving his junk in my face and dancing the magic dance. Small favors.

As far as dating goes, I am not really that interested, nor will my schedule really allow anything outside of a casual relationship.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you would like to have a fun and engaging time with a kinda smart DUDE and the above applies to you.

...you wanna do some mind crimes.