I assure you I am quite cute and very charming.

Yes, I did post the ugliest pictures of myself I could find. Yes, I even considered posting one of me with my shirt off. People often ask me why I choose the worst pictures to post. I do it because I can and if someone has judged me negatively on my looks before even reading this short explanatory paragraph, I am sure I wouldn't really want to know them anyhow.

If you want, I could send you a nice picture.

If you are one of those girls who likes hip nerdy boys with glasses (which are real and not ironic cosmetic glasses, you lame ass Portland hipsters), you will love the shit out of me. I can cook, talk music, be silly and be a horrible snob all at the same time.

You could say I am losing my hair. Or that I am becoming more aerodynamic. Is the glass half empty or half full?

I have just moved back to Portland after an eight year journey through washington dc's boring nightlife by way of boston, rome, paris and scranton.

I am seeking gainful employment while attempting to start or join a writer's collective here in Portland that doesn't suck. If you are a writer or poet, get at me and we can talk about it.

I am looking for new friends while also watching Invader Zim, reading Meltzer's Aesthetics of Rock, and writing many many letters.

Lighter tricks, sarcasm, literary criticism, cooking, making bad puns, sleeping, that other thing people like to do in bed (yes, reading), not talking on my cell phone in public, making you laugh, writing letters, making mixtapes,

blah blah blah.

My sultry and sonorous radio announcers voice or my incredible joie de vivre.

Nah, just fucking with ya. Probably my receding hairline, my glasses, and the fact that I look like Ben Folds or Alton Brown.

Judgemental pricks.

books: the unbearable lightness of being, love is a dog from hell, how the other half lives, the wasteland, autobiography of benjamin franklin, the grapes of wrath, 120 days of sodom, the flowers of evil

movies: midnight cowboy, welcome to the dollhouse, blue velvet, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, ghost world, blazing saddles, the jerk, clint eastwood westerns, 2001:ASO, the rules of attraction, the squid and the whale, from dusk til dawn, stepbrothers

music: the clash, built to spill, the pixies, talking heads, metal feathers, elvis costello, atari teenage riot, modest mouse, the carter family, ben folds, the everly brothers, roy orbison, simon and garfunkel, the fall, magnetic fields, patsy cline, the birthday party, boc, buddy holly, creedence clearwater revival, neil diamond

food: sushi, thai, ethiopian, dipietros pepperoni pizza, good old american comfort food

family.
pen and paper.
beer.
ipod.
bed.
the word "fuck".

the slippery slope.

i don't have typical friday nights.

I am a super nerd about the american revolutionary war. i don't dress up and reenact it or anything, but let's just say there are a lot of books lying around here...

you are not over 30 and you aren't just going to say, "you are a super hottie." C'mon, I get that one all the time... be a little original...