This is me. I'm all, "I'm just a guy."

I figured I should make another OKCupid account. I might as well try to find a girlfriend. The older I get the harder it is to find friends who like to goof off and get high and giggle about shit. Maybe I'll just find a girl who likes to goof off and get high and giggle about shit so I can keep her around.

I'm a bumbling well -meaning stoner. I'm loyal. I like to play guitar and sing. I always do my best to use correct spelling and grammar, even in text messages. I never got the hang of punctuation, I'm too liberal with commas. I know how to properly construct a sentence, but I don't really give a shit.

I'm one of those people who are a little bit too interested in a possible zombie apocalypse.

I get a kick out of being offensive. It's this wild punk-rock streak I have.

I was in the bands I Am An Engine and Rats!Rats!Rats! Oh, you've heard of us? You love that shit? Good. I'm always happy to make dreams come true.

I'm working on my own music now. We'll see what happens with that.

I watched Zeitgeistand now I'm scared of the government. If anybody is on here looking for comrades in starting THE REVOLUTION, holla atcha boy.

Most everything else you need to know about me is below.

Anything you want to know, just ask.

Blowin' in the wind.

Writing, making music, making art, Guitar Hero, being awkward, killing zombies.

you tell me?

I like lots of stuff. Also, I think the stuff I don't like sucks. These are things that I like.

I like these Books: Stardust and anything else by Neil Gaiman. The Gunslinger, The Eyes Of The Dragon, The Stand and a few other books by Stephen King. Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z. Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy. I'm not fundamentally opposed to some Chuck Palahniuk, but I really have to be in the right mood. Orwell is always good. Hunter S. Thompson. Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins.

The following are most of my favorite movies that I can think of right now: The Life Aquatic, The Darjeeling Limited, Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz, A Mighty Wind, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, Re-Animator, Slither, Knocked Up, Pineapple Express, Wet Hot American Summer, Role Models, Evil Dead 2, 28 Days Later, Night Of The Living Dead, Zombie Strippers. Mostly I like stoner comedies, action sci-fi and horror movies that are stupidly violent, and anything involving Wes Anderson, Paul Rudd or Simon Pegg.

When I feel like melting brain cells, I watch Scarred, South Park, Metalocalypse, The Venture Brothers, Superjail, Xavier: Renegade Angel, The Office, The Office (UK), Spaced, Black Books, Arrested Development, Tim And Eric Awesome Show Great Job!, Home Movies, Jackass, Wildboys, and Rob & Big on the tee-vee.

I like anything that sounds like music. I don't know how to make a list of my favorite bands because it always gets too long and unwieldy. I'll try to just hit on the main points. I like psychedelic rock and 60s sunshine pop. I like The Beatles and The Zombies and The Beach Boys. In The Aeroplane Over The Sea changed my life. I still salivate over most-anything Elephant 6 related. I really like the song "Sunshine Soul" by The Gerbils. Sleater-Kinney is awesome. Pavement is awesome. Stephen Malkmus is a hero of mine. I love Hella, Marnie Stern, Bygones, and Team Sleep. If you put Zach Hill in a band I'm probably going to enjoy it... Though I did not enjoy Nervous Cop. But I do like Deerhoof and Joanna Newsom. I like Pink Floyd and Queen. Of course, I like Led Zeppelin. Of course, I like Radiohead. "Bone Machine" is my favorite Pixies song. The New Pornographers are one of my favorite bands in recent memory. I like Nirvana. I like Deftones. I like the first two Weezer albums and all pre-Warning Green Day. I like Brand New and they just keep getting better. I like experimental grindcore bands like Iwrestledabearonce and United Nations. I like Botch, Poison The Well, Every Time I Die, Cannibal Corpse, Coalesce, Curlupanddie... Heavy stuff. I like Jay-Z, Kanye West, T.I., MF Doom, Jurassic 5, P.O.S., Lil' Wayne... Rap stuff. Even though they aren't my favorite band, I very seriously believe that Sigur Rós is the greatest band in the universe and you're missing out if you don't listen to them. I would also recommend Japandroids, Helms Alee, and Screaming Females. Also, The Advantage is the best 8 bit video game cover band EVER... If any of this sounds familiar and you find yourself wondering, "I wonder if he likes/has heard of ______" Ask me. The answer is probably yes... If it isn't, I'll check them out. I will be any woman's dutiful manservant if she can out-nerd me with obscure music.

I like food. I'm an ex-vegetarian. I love beer and cheeseburgers... and Honey Bunches Of Oats.

Music, my skin, my bones, my brain, probably most of my organs, and like-minded friends.

Nuclear war, various zombie apocalypse scenarios, how can you tell what time it is in space?, the human need to name things, the journey ordinary things take, what words mean and why we use them and what other ways they can be used and what they rhyme with and what other words they sound cool with, nothing at all.

Clawing my eyes out, puking up acid blood or sitting at home playing video games. It depends where the party is.

I think Dude Where's My Car is an ok movie.

You hate the same stuff I hate, like advertising in movies or bands that sound like Nickelback or the pussification of the vampire mythos.

Or if you're a woman who likes Tim & Eric... I need to know that some of you exist.

Or if you want to show me your boobs.

Or if you feel like it.