Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


40 West Yarmouth, MA Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25-100
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 6:22am
5' 8" (1.73m)
Body Type
Has kid(s)
English (Somewhat), C++ (Fluently), Frisian (Somewhat), Ancient Greek (Somewhat), LISP (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm the proud papa of two baby goats. I enjoy sitting in cape traffic on a hot humid day with no AC and the windows rolled up. I'm adventurous. I like gluten free twinkies. I'm really good at picking things up and putting things down. On my free time I like to Fakebook in my underwear. I avoid road kill whenever possible. I get insane with Insanity on a daily basis. Shawn T's got nuthin' on me!!!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Becoming a better man tomorrow than I am today. One item on my bucket list is to one day watch every episode of My Little Ponies. I'd like to jump out of a perfectly good airplane at some point. Maintaining a strict diet of food I scrounge up dumpster diving.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being extraordinary! Drawing. Living off interest. Being an example to children. Braiding my nose hairs. Giving Back. Putting the toilet seat down. Being in action. Fixing shit. Driving safely. Not taking myself too seriously. Serving my commitments. Eating with my mouth closed. Being a good listener. Paying my bills. Tying my shoes. Giving Hugs. Doing crazy shit on my big wheel. Kicking Ass!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm cut up like Bruce Lee. I resemble Rocky Dennis on a bad day. I'm a badass like Dirty Harry. I walk like a zombie.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Eye grate ta reeding, righting adn speling. My favorite movie of all time is Howard the Duck. I'm a big phan of all kinds of music. I run on Dunkin' 24/7!!!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My Baby Goats
Penile Erector
Denture Repair Kit
Finger Nail Clippers
My Seeing Eye Dog
Bug Spray
My Trust Fund
Perpetration H
My Binky
Band Aids
My Afro Pick
Duct Tape
Soap on a Rope
My Viagra Scrip
Crystal Meth
My Parole Officer
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The people I'm going to help when I win the lottery. World Peas. Rogue waves. Leprechauns. Riding wheelies at 160mph. Bettering myself. Burning ants with my magnifying glass. Community Service. Humming Birds and Butterflies. When the Cape will be flattened by the next big Tornado. Where did I leave my keys?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Rollin' down the street on my big wheel, sippin' on gin and juice...Laid back (With my mind on my money and my money on my mind), Baking Muffins. Halo Jumps. Planning my next Secret Mission. Feeding and entertaining my baby goats.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I play with Barbies, I'm afraid of the dark, I wet my bed and I still watch Sesame Street. Don't Judge Me!!!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You judge a book by it's cover...You're dating some jerk and need a backup plan...You like to bitch and complain...You're problem oriented...You're taking me seriously...Cuz you "feel" like it...You like a man who wears the pants...You're just looking to hookup with some strapping young buck...You want to do my laundry and wash my dishes...You haven't been living under a rock your entire life...You want me to pay child support...If you feel like you're rich enough to support me...You have the most magnificent mammalian protuberances!!...You can feel good about Hood...You have a face that only a mother could love...If I made you laugh!!!! ;)

If you message and I don't get back to you right away, it's because I answer in the order I receive. Please hold, your call is very important to us. :::elevator music:::