I sound like Archer.
Cohabitation's a little terrifying, isn't it? I'm warm, smart, caring and fun but otherwise a terrible roommate. I need space, like my own place forever sort of space, or I'll become irritable and indifferent like a poorly housed hamster, and believe me, so will you. Let me miss you. Let me value our time.
Can I hammer the point home? Because it's fun. I think that marriage is retarded and having your own babies is unethical at this population density, but I'd sooner do those things than live with you. Compared to my moving in, my becoming a settled family man is actually a (very distant) possibility.
Some notes on the bod because it matters to someone: I have dialed back my body type to 'Average' after a year in ice cream city with an overnight job. I'm a conventional gym rat and have some muscle with a little layer of squish that girls like because they think it means other girls won't come steal me. I'm an ex-crossfitter but when I see those insanely jacked Castro daddies with the 30" biceps I'm like awwwww I'm a straight slob. I live in defeat for the moment. I'm clawing my way out of it but I'm not the cut lad in the pictures until March.
I head up a real talk and cat rescue organization called Man Team. (See JonathanVT25, our Mayor.) Despite my lack of humility, I am present, gregarious, positive, forward-thinking, useful and always grateful. Time is luck. We were promised nothing. Friends' birthdays are important.
When I sense a human on the other end of the line I am gracious, as befits a lord. I am even very loyal to friends, probably unwisely. I am generous of spirit. I am possessed by hubris. I let it take me for the power that it gives. It is a symbiote.