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theotherbastard

32 M San Francisco, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–42
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Sep 19
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Often
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
$40,000–$50,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Poorly), Latin (Poorly), French (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I have dialed back my body type to 'Average' after a year in ice cream city with an overnight job. I live in defeat for the moment. I'm clawing my way out of it but I'm not the cut lad in the pictures until September. More cylindrical. I've found my market value is different, but not lesser, in a city packed with liberated but undersexed career women and sexless tech nerd males with more money than they know what to do with. A lot of hot ladies don't want some pretty party prince. They want a self-assured, down-to-earth master of irony who clearly has no patience to eat anything besides whatever he wants. So I've had a couple seasons of that, and sure, great, normal-guy malnourishment and a tendency to get sick. It's been fabulous. I'm back to caveman living and deadlifts for time.

I'm not a player because I'm hugely upfront. I deadlift 388 and say things like, "Manmeat Squadron, examine your feelings."

I head up a real talk and cat rescue organization called Man Team. (See JonathanVT25, our Mayor.) Despite my lack of humility, I am present, gregarious, positive, forward-thinking, useful and always grateful. Time is luck. We were promised nothing. Friends' birthdays are important.

I'm unfortunately really good at sniffing out peoples' uglinesses and I won't waste energy on political correctness. Because of this I lack the chops and the patience for community leadership, though I'm flatteringly called an 'Alpha' by Burner types. (What I'm saying is that sensitive bi-curious cowboy pimps mistake me for an Alpha.) But--and I'm totally cockblocking myself with the self-destructive gals here--I am usually kind. When I sense a human on the other end of the line I am gracious, as befits a lord. I am even very loyal to friends, probably unwisely. I am generous of spirit. I am possessed by hubris. I let it take me for the power that it gives. It is a symbiote.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Wondering where I can move that I can stand living (fuck Oakland, fuck New York, FUCK going back home) and also accumulate wealth (fuck San Francisco). I'm staying alive and off the streets as a dog walker, but watch this space.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Not getting arrested, despite that I'm a chaos magnet. I just have an atomic clock in my head that plays Happy Cricket when we should scoot. Acting with taste--I try for consideration and discretion and benevolence, but I've always got taste locked. Lending stable affection, appreciation, and rational think-throughs to the ADHD and impulsive. Offering spontaneity to the stodgy. Emotional intelligence: I'm decent at the five-minute read.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The big smile that says "trouble" or "welcome." The shamelessness.

The little-boy hair, if I haven't cut it. The smirking swagger or the grave machinations, depending mostly on the temperature.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Griftopia, Sex At Dawn, Blood Meridian.

Movies: Superbad. Spy Game. Pi. Waltz With Bashir.

Music: Think T-Rex and Ladytron. And then Primus. They're beloved in this town.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My own fun
Fights, romance, and lust for life (that's totally one thing, called Dgaw, on account of testicles)
The empirical certainty that improvement is plausible in objective terms, and we needn't live our childhoods for the entirety of our lives.
Boring, obvious, universal Maslow. (That's 4)
Coconuts, and gods damns it if I don't likes them young
A-cuddlin'

If a woman likes to be read to, naked, that's a plus, I've decided. I can live without that, just, you know, not as long.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Who lives next to a ghetto in this town? Most of you, I'm guessing. Where's the guarantee of civic order? Where's the education, where's the money?

Fuck, I love boobs, though. Partied recently with a spirited young 'lesbian' who loved to flash girls? Short-lived girlfriend material, I'm telling you. You want my attention? Gimme the wild side. I have no job for Ladies. Restraint and decorum are useless on me.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Uh, there are sometimes parties on Friday nights, right?

$$ BUT I'M LATE BECAUSE I HAD TO $$

Play soda can golf, staining Civic Center with corn syrup. It's soul-cleansingly frat-boy retarded. Security doesn't know where I come from, or where I go. I'm like lightning.

$$ THEN $$

Decide whether to call my boys who get in fights or my men well-liked among the ladies. I have hot friends, is what I'm telling you, girls. They have sweet pads and drugs.

&& OR &&

Practice my Meatwad. Drop that sack. In my mouth.

&& OR &&

Take my bisexual gal-pals with boring boyfriends to lesbian night. (Though really that's a typical Tuesday night.) Mischief with chaos friends or reason with order friends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I like to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Conspiratorial with the naughty, good to the sweet, disrespectful, ungiving and uncompromising with radically honest cokeheads, violent with the violent, well-mannered and insightful with the awake, withholding from the withholding. I've gotten pretty good at it.

Cohabitation's a little terrifying, isn't it? I'm warm, smart, caring and fun but otherwise a terrible roommate. I need space, like my own place forever sort of space, or I'll become irritable and indifferent like a poorly housed hamster, and believe me, so will you. Let me miss you. Let me value our time.

Oh, and I don't have this problem:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUYaosyR4bE
I have the other problem.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're alone and want to cuddle. I take random requests from the plucky.

You want a boyfriend above the law.