Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


35 Rochester, NY Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21-37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 8:44am
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
A little extra
Christianity but it’s not important
Doesn’t have kids but might want them
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've been an experience junkie for years, wanting to travel, to see the world, to get answers for questions that I had never conceived, etc.
Going to nearly every concert that came around that I wanted to see because I hated the idea of ever missing a moment in time that could never be restored.

I always said: "Someday, i'll meet the right girl, get married, and have kids hopefully."
I guess my priorities have been off. I work hard, i've always been one to put in a little extra time here and there to try to do my job the best I can, but i guess I need to let it go a little and stress less over it.
I don't have many friends that come around much anymore. I guess I need to try to fix that. I'd kind of been operating under the assumption that strangers would somehow magically observe my character and want to make friends with me, without me putting in any effort. So i've been working long hours, then having no one to call. So I go to concerts alone, play video games, or read.
I need to find a better mission in life than just trying to keep myself constantly entertained.

"I must have missed the grow-up sign I thought we were still having fun.
So good luck, with not forgetting who you are, even though it seems you have to
Good luck, finding your own way not setting in where your not happy
Good luck, remembering it's only life
Good luck, not following what you don't believe in
Good luck, seeing many problems are only a big deal if you make them ...
So good luck, being someone who can always help someone out
Good luck, in remembering how much you can effect someone else
Good luck with not being selfish
Good luck with not being alone
Good luck in this world we're all just trying to get along
Good luck with not getting caught up
Good luck with not getting stressed
Good luck with figuring things out
Good luck with doing your best
Good luck with not losing yourself
Good luck for standing for what's right
Good luck for being happy when you sit to review your life" - Big D & the Kid's Table

I just quit nicotine and so far the past two months without it hasn't been so bad. I had to after a major health event recently (doc says if I had gone to sleep, instead of driving myself to the ER that night, I wouldn't have woken up). I spent the past 20 years smoking, eating the wrong foods, and pushing myself instead of listening to my body (for example, I guess being tired means you're supposed to rest, not chain smoke and chug caffeine?).
Since the procedure, I feel normal again and you'd never know I had surgery (other than a dot on my wrist, there aren't any other scars), but i'm still adapting to the new meds, diet, etc. Went back to work after just one weekend...
I'm told that if I follow these dietary guidelines that I should remain "normal and healthy" and i've already resumed my normal gym work-outs. Maybe it's time to find a woman to make happy for the rest of my life?

"You can't make someone love you with a song" - Her Space Holiday

"Your disinterest is driving me mad
You're so fine
If you were mine I'd love you up
Give me a sign my darling
Well, I can shine
If you'd just let me know

What's a fella gotta do
To spend a little time with you?

I'm so tired of feeling I could be more
I need a purpose
What am I for?"

"Well if you need me, I'm right here
No mater what, I'm always near
Yeah, I've been through a lot
And you can't scare me
Now go on baby, if you just dare me
I'll break through any wall
Just give me a call
I'm a dynamiter
I'm a prizefighter

Well if you get sad, I'm your friend
I got an ear I'll always lend
You know that you can always talk to me
Now come on baby, take a walk with me"

"You're not sure, well that's okay
Cause I am and I'm not afraid
It's up to you and me
And who's to say
These could be the good old days" - The Eels

I'm lucky enough to have a job that I can perform from anywhere with a strong internet connection (Software "Test Engineer"), but i've got a lease in Rochester for the time being. I really don't mind Rochester, but i've been spending a lot of time alone unintentionally these days (I just don't have many local friends anymore). Talking to a co-worker, I guess maybe that's not all that unusual, but at my last place, I used to have friends dropping by like 5x a week. I wouldn't mind moving to a bigger city for a few years (some place big enough to get all the bands to come around with reliable public transit so I don't have to worry about driving home). It'd be so nice to be able to drink at concerts without counting your drinks (so you know you'll get home without incident). Right now, I can't afford a place like NYC because i've got too much debt from feeding my passions like a glutton. I almost moved to Amsterdam in 1999. I was accepted at the University of Amsterdam, but they didn't get back to me until after I had to give RIT my decision.

I'm nearly always alone at shows and what not, so I mostly keep to myself. I generally know where i'm going and have everything I need so there usually isn't much reason for me to interact with strangers. The friends I do have left are close friends. I may not see them often, but i'd trust them with my life. Just got back from the Netherlands again in 2014 (another fun Cup). I kind of had my eyes on Greece / Turkey (where I haven't been before), but this was my first chance to travel with a friend (all my previous trips have been alone or with groups of strangers that mostly, eventually became acquaintances). Besides judging the Cup is a hell of a lot of fun anyways, so he didn't exactly have to twist my arm to get me to go with him instead of my originally intended destination. I aggressively pay down my debts, but frequently lose progress because I don't want to say no to the next fun thing. I guess i'm not so spontaneous because I always have plans down the road and resources pre-allocated. I'm not anti-social, but i'm just generally not one to initiate conversations with people that I do not know. I haven't met a single new person (who's name I can recall) since I moved back here two and a half years ago.

I guess that I might come off as a touch anti-religious, but that's not exactly true. It's been many years since I attended church services, but I do still hold some tenets of (Baptist) Protestant beliefs. I just don't believe it all. I'm interested in other religions too and i've been gradually reading through various religious texts.

Believe it or not, most people that have met me casually would describe me as one of the most laid-back, relaxed guys they know. I can be verbose if the topic is something that actually interests me. Admittedly, I do keep my cards pretty close to my chest.

The point of dating is to determine if that person is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, right?

Sorry, I cannot date someone with kids already, but I hope to have kids of my own some day.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Actually right now i'm debating... I'm drooling over a trip to Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand (maybe Nepal and India too if work will cooperate? - the flights are the expensive part, but once you're over there, things are fairly cheap) around Christmas 2015?
Or do I stick to the plan (spend that week sitting around at home instead)? Keep paying down my debts (so I won't have any) when I hopefully eventually meet the one who will become my wife?

Sorry, i'm not great at "making the first move". If you want to get to know me better, send me a message.

um i've seen way too many movies..
I find myself watching a lot of documentaries these days
one day I sat down and wrote out a long list of things I'd heard of, but didn't know much about or didn't know the context of the event and i've spent a good handful of nights reading online about those topics lately
I play guitar a bit (though fairly poorly) and i've been learning drums and bass a bit (mostly when screwing around with friends while drinking), I enjoy traveling and i've taken brief trips around the US, Central America, Europe, and Egypt.
My non-productive nights tend to involve video games.

I don't expect you to know all these bands (though i'd be pleasantly shocked if you did), nor do I expect you to want to go to see bands that aren't your cup of tea, but an eagerness to learn would go a long way with me. I've said before that if I ever find a girl that LOVES the Beatles, the Eels, Sublime, and Rollins Band, i'd probably end up marrying her.

I'm usually stuck going to shows alone because I don't know anyone that listens to half of the stuff that i'm into - In 2012, I saw: The "Yardbirds", Voodoo Glow Skulls, Henry Rollins (Spoken Word), Jonny Corndawg, Disappears / Lotus Plaza, Clutch / Hellyeah, Kottonmouth Kings / Twiztid, Reverend Horton Heat, Cold War Kids / Kaskade, St. Vincent, Primus, Whose Line Anyway, Flogging Molly, Bonnaroo (Radiohead, Chili Peppers, Ben Folds Five, White Denim, SOJA, Rubblebucket, Bad Brains, Electric Guest, Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings, Avett Brothers, Foster the People, Puscifer, Danzig/Misfits, Dispatch, Alice Cooper, Skrillex, Gary Clark Jr., Grouplove, the Beach Boys, fun., Phish, etc), Big D & the Kid's Table / Goldfinger / Reel Big Fish, Mayer Hawthorn, Bonzai (Eve 6, Gaslight Anthem, Offspring, Our Lady Peace, etc), K-Rockathon (Public Enemy, Korn, Pod, Red Light Kings, Eve 6, Gaslight Anthem, Offspring, etc), Summerland (Marcy Playground, Gin Blossoms, Everclear, Lit, and Sugar Ray), Wilco, Toadies/Helmet, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Agent Orange/Queers, Hed (pe), Dropkick Murphy's, Sleighbells, Ben Fold's Five, Marilyn Manson/Rob Zombie, Mike Watt, Primus, G Love & Special Sauce, Sleighbells, Cypress Hill, Mrs. Skanetto, State Radio, Reverend Horton Heat, and Ra Ra Riot.

2014 shows so far: KMFDM, Manchester Orchestra / Man Man, Dr Dog, Richie Ramone, Jimkata, I am the Avalanche, Reel Big fish, Less Than Jake, Hold Steady and Deer Tick (Ithaca, Rochester, AND Buffalo :) ), Whigs, Local H, Deerhoof, the Aqua Bats, Manchester Orchestra, Death Cab For Cutie, Ringo Starr, Bonnaroo 2014 [Flaming Lips, White Denim, Cake, The Avett Brothers, Dr Dog, Wiz Khalifa, Vampire Weekend, Cage the Elephant, The Bouncing Souls, Slightly Stoopid, Arctic Monkeys, Skrillex, Fitz and The Tantrums, Mastodon, Neutral Milk Hotel, Nick Cave, Grouplove, Andrew Bird, Head and Heart, Meshuggah, Green Sky Blue Grass, Okkerville River, Thao and the Get Down Stay Down, Jack White, Elton John, etc], Guttermouth, Jello Biafra, Weezer, Primus / Ween, Sublime, Queens of the Stone Age, Megadeth, Ben Fold's, one day of GrassRoots (Anders Osborn, Joe Spektor, and Donna the Buffalo), Gogol Bordello, Bonzai (Chevelle, Tove Lo, A Day to Remember, etc), Edgefest (Weezer, Brand New, etc), Powerman 5000/Hed PE, Presidents of the United States of America, Our Lady Peace, X-canceled-Bob Weir & Ratdog ("Grateful Dead"), AraabMuzik, Fitz & the Tantrums, Tom Petty, Foster the People, Pinback, Mad Caddies, MxPx, Soulfly (Buffalo and Rochester), BML, Big D & the Kid's Table, Isotopes, Jimkata, Primus, Sloan, a few Cup shows at the Melkweg, (maybe) Flogging Molly, (maybe) Hot Tuna / Donna the Buffalo, (maybe) hed pe/Nonpoint, (maybe) Chevelle, and Mighty Mighty Bosstones for New Years.

I work at a software company. My dream job is probably video game development, but these days I pay the bills writing regression tests.

I like to take in a variety of foods like Indian, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Thai, etc. I've been meaning to try Sri Lankan, Pakistani, and Korean eventually.

I've been gradually checking off visiting places like:

Places I have visited
Louvre, Metropolitan Museum of Art, Vatican Museums, National Gallery of Art, Museum of Modern Art, Rijksmuseum, Galleria degli Uffizi, Musée d'Orsay, Art Institute of Chicago, Van Gogh Museum, Pergamon Museum, Galleria dell'Accademia, Guggenheim Museum (Venice and NYC), National Portrait Gallery (DC), Stedelijk Museum Amsterdam, Art Gallery of Ontario, Philadelphia Museum of Art
(I know i've also been to a bunch of little places that didn't make the list too)

Places I may have visited?
(we drank every night for the 3 weeks of that tour :) )
Musée National d'Art Moderne (Paris), Grand Palais (Paris), Institut Valencià d'Art Modern (Venice), Kunsthistorisches (Vienna), Doge's Palace (Venice) - pretty sure I saw the facade, but don't think I entered?

Hopefully, I can work out a way to see the Acropolis and Hagia Sophia in 2016.
I see so many places on this list are in London, I may have to find a way back there someday.
I only had 21 hours when I was there last.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Spewing a song lyric to go along with most troubling situations?

(Figuratively) Bashing my head up against a wall until I find a solution to problems (I put in more time at work than I have to sometimes, trying to come up with "good" solutions).

Fixating on tasks until they are complete.

Probably looking ridiculous while bobbing my head and singing along (mostly under my breath) at concerts, while standing alone, double-fisting beers.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"I don't know what to say...
I could say I want you,
That would be a bore
Maybe in a font you
Haven't seen before?
I could say I'll haunt you
Till your dying day
I could tease and taunt you,
But what would I say?
See, I don't know what to say...
I could say I crave you
Still, you little brat
I could rant and rave, you
Know I can do that
I could say I gave you
Everything I have
I could say I'll save you
You might think me mad
So I don't know what to say...
I could try and lead you
Down the garden path
I could say I'll feed you
You can do the math
I could say I need you
Offer you a ring
I'll be guaranteed you
Don't believe a thing...
I could try and shove you
Off the nearest cliff
I could say I lo..." - The Magnetic Fields

"Do you ever walk alone?
Like a drifter in the dark
Seeking out what isn't there
Looking only for a spark

From a girl who's all alone
Maybe she's a-driftin' too
Like a shadow in the night
Waitin' just to meet with you

And then perhaps in love you'll stay
Or fall and go your separate ways
Still searchin' for a spark
Like a drifter in the dark" - Ween

"Not everyone who is lost is
Wondering why
Sometimes a lonely way
Taking your name down from the Jumbotron
Find a new place to stay
And a new home for the trumpeter swan" - They Might Be Giants

"I'm so happy, when you're here
And I'm not a happy girl
So like a miracle occurs
I'm happy when you're near
And all my angels appear
And the demons leave my ear
And I want to clean the kitchen
We're two peas from the same pod
Bowing down to the same God
We're not sure exists

We both walk with heavy souls
With bullet holes
And a backpack full of bad affairs and fears
I'm happy when you're here, kinda
I'm so happy when you're here
We both laugh at the same cruel jokes
We both still drink and smoke
Well I'm happy when you're here, kinda" - Jill Sobule

"I can bleed as well as anyone,
But I need someone to help me sleep" - Counting Crows

"I'm in love with rock and roll, but that will change eventually" - Local h
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
(Books) the elegant universe by brian greene, ethan frome by wharton, cyrano de bergerac by rostand, forbidden knowledge by roger shattuck, ender's game by orson scott card, various dream intrepretation books, always liked Dean Koontz books, usually buy one for the plane when traveling, etc
(Movies) falling down, half baked, bringing out the dead, punch drunk love, 10 things i hate about you, fear and loathing in los vegas, donnie darko, mothman prophicies, 7 television commercials, breakfast at tiffany's, brainscan, starship troopers, evil dead trilogy, high fidelity, vanilla sky, fight club, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, Screwed, 40 Year Old Virgin, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Primer, Pie, Anchorman, Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, Her, etc
(TV) Futurama, Dr Who, Louie, The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Marget, Fringe, Law and Order, the Americans, Sons of Anarchy, Fargo, the Shield, Battlestar Galactica, That's 70's Show, Wonder Years, Quantum Leap, Hero's, Andy Rictor Controls the Universe, Married With Children, Star Trek, Twilight Zone, the Hitchhiker, Continuum, MacGuyver, A-Team, Walking Dead, Ancient Aliens, 10 Things You Don't Know About with Henry Rollins, How The States Got Their Shapes, America's Secret Slang, Brain Games, Whitest Kids You Know, Chappelle's Show, Robot Chicken, Moral Oral, etc
(Comedy) Dennis Leary, George Carlin, Louis C.K., Joe Rogan, Jim Gaffigan, Dave Chappelle, Henry Rollins (Spoken Word), Lenny Bruce, Eddie Izzard, Dom Irrera, Kevin Hart, Amy Schumer, Aziz Ansari, Dave Attell, Dustin Diamond (Screech From Saved by the Bell) - saw him do a pretty funny set at ComixCafe on Winton once, etc
(Music) Radiohead, Eels, Tori Amos, The Magnetic Fields, The Only Children, Blake Babies, Juliana Hatfield, Some Girls, Corporate Avenger, Tool, bad religion, Big D and the Kid's Table, Grizzley Bear, muse, Sublime, Smut Peddlers, Odetta, Count Basie, Little Walter, John Lee Hooker, Mother Superior, Otis Rush, The Format, Travis, Black Kids, Cold War Kids, Suicide Machines, Cardigans, Butthole Surfers, Toadies, Dr Dog, Local H, Folk Implosion, New Pornographers, Blonde Red Head, Rollins Band, smashing pumpkins, G Love & Special Sauce, Pain, Gogol Bordello, GutterMouth, Her Space Holiday, the Hold Steady, Hum, Jill Sobule, Magic Numbers, Ani Difranco, Oysterhead, Devotchka, God Lives Underwater, Joan Osborn, Mad Caddies, Massive Attack, Mazzy Star, Neutral Milk Hotel, Okkervil River, Pete Droge, Pietasters, Postelles, Rentals, Reverend Horton Heat, Saul Williams, Scott Weiland, Chris Cornell, They Might Be Giants, The Unicorns, Whigs, Ween, Zombina and the Skeletones, flogging molly, drop kick murphy's, andrew bird, bobby darin, everly brothers, counting crows, pantera, I am the avalanche, cat stevens, les claypool, primus, CIV, clash, rugburns, morphine, BML (Rochester band), cake, ben fold's 5, black sabbath, bob and ziggy marley, blind melon, four non blondes, nirvana, meat puppets, mother love bone, temple of the dog, pearl jam, sound garden, big bad voodoo daddy, apples in stereo, the aquabats, veruca salt, al green, alanis morissette (1st cd only), aerosmith, 6th's, future bible hero's, dead kennedy's, sleeper, everything but the girl, everclear, everlast, flamming lips, fiona apple, filter, dean martin, frank sinatra (love the sad songs, not so big on the happy ones), fuel, frank zappa, gg allin, goldfinger, ICP, janis joplin, jewel (1st cd only), johnny cash, johnny tillotson, Zager & Evans, korn (early stuff only), staind (1st cd only), K's choice, lea anderone, less than jake, therapy, scars on broadway, nada surf, weezer (the albums before their music changed when Rivers went to Harvard), kotton mouth kings, our lady peace, letters to cleo, beck, refreshments, CCR, Led Zeppelin, Doors, MC5, Beiruit, White Denim, Asian Teacher Factory, She Wants Revenge, Jonathon Wilson, Reverend Payton's Big Damn Band, Deap Vally, Man Man, Jessica Lea Mayfield, St Vincent, Sleighbells, Greensky Bluegrass, Phoenix, Damon Albarn, etc
(Food) chinese, italian, indian, thai, mexican, sea food, steak, been meaning to try korean one of these days..
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
physics, religion, music, movies, work related topics, psychology, linguistics, how old is the Earth? do multinational leagues have the right to maintain existing borders? is human life sacred? are the bible/torah and qur'an based on the same source as the epic of gilgamesh? by what basis do some groups consider electricity spiritual enslavement? should a social reform be carried out even if it is expected to do more harm to the majority than the previous condition did to the minority (and what should happen if this was discovered only after the reform had been imlemented)? can the grand unified theory be experimentally proven? why do most organized religions consider women as second class citizens? did the indigenous peoples have the right idea forbidding property ownership? should the popular vote be used for elections instead of electoral colleges? how old are the stories from the illiad and oddesy really? do those with more have a responsibility to give to those with less and stop human rights violations? why are humans the only species that are not prevented from breeding after genetic deformities are evident? has the arc of noah been found? should voluntary euthanasia be legalized? have we reached the point where survival of the fitest is no longer keeping morons in check? what's the most important aspect of a song to you? are we really any more advanced than our ancestors from antiquity or do we just have more things that a few smart people made for us? of the things you use on a daily basis, how much do you understand about HOW they work? if I sent you out into the woods with a hatchet, how long until you could make something to send me an e-mail? (Thanks Joe Rogan) besides blasphemy, where did curses originate? if there is a being with omniscience, would it be total or inherent? does omniscience preclude freedom of choice? how similar is the bacteria inside of our bodies and the people on the earth? is simultaneous reality just a figment of the imagination? where are the missing natural predators.. why don't they release hungry tigers and knife wielding chimps at nascar events? would a society that shed no tears be inconceivably mediocre? (Thanks Yonlu)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
playing games, hanging out at a friend's, or at a concert, hockey game, or comedy club
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've never had much interest in getting a cell phone.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
um you've actually read this and still want to?