Since the procedure, I feel normal again, but i'm still adapting to the new meds, diet, etc. Back to work on Monday...
I've been an experience junkie for years, wanting to travel, to see the world, to get answers for questions that I had never conceived, etc.
Going to nearly every concert that came around that I wanted to see because I hated the idea of ever missing a moment in time that could never be restored.
I always said: "Someday, i'll meet the right girl, get married, and have kids hopefully."
I guess my priorities have been off. I work hard, i've always been one to put in a little extra time here and there to try to do my job the best I can, but i guess I need to let it go a little and stress less over it (if I had died on Wed night, what difference would the 2 hours of overtime Mon and Tues [to get the assignment done sooner] have made?
I don't have many friends that come around much anymore. I guess I need to try to fix that. I'd kind of been operating under the assumption that strangers would somehow magically observe my character and want to make friends with me, without me putting in any effort. So i've been working long hours, then having no one to call so I go to concerts alone, play video games, or read a book.
I'm 35 now and am no longer in perfect health, but i'm told that if I follow the guidelines I should remain normal and "healthy". I guess it's getting close to time to slow down, find a woman to make happy for the rest of my life, and to make my parents, grandparents (I was an only child). I need to find a better mission in life than just trying to keep myself constantly entertained with games and music.
"I must have missed the grow-up sign I thought we were still having fun.
So good luck, with not forgetting who you are, even though it seems you have to
Good luck, finding your own way not setting in where your not happy
Good luck, remembering it's only life
Good luck, not following what you don't believe in
Good luck, seeing many problems are only a big deal if you make them ...
So good luck, being someone who can always help someone out
Good luck, in remembering how much you can effect someone else
Good luck with not being selfish
Good luck with not being alone
Good luck in this world we're all just trying to get along
Good luck with not getting caught up
Good luck with not getting stressed
Good luck with figuring things out
Good luck with doing your best
Good luck with not losing yourself
Good luck for standing for what's right
Good luck for being happy when you sit to review your life" - Big D & the Kid's Table
"You can't make someone love you with a song" - Her Space Holiday
"Your disinterest is driving me mad
You're so fine
If you were mine I'd love you up
Give me a sign my darling
Well, I can shine
If you'd just let me know
What's a fella gotta do
To spend a little time with you?
I'm so tired of feeling I could be more
I need a purpose
What am I for?"
"Well if you need me, I'm right here
No mater what, I'm always near
Yeah, I've been through a lot
And you can't scare me
Now go on baby, if you just dare me
I'll break through any wall
Just give me a call
I'm a dynamiter
I'm a prizefighter
Well if you get sad, I'm your friend
I got an ear I'll always lend
You know that you can always talk to me
Now come on baby, take a walk with me"
"You're not sure, well that's okay
Cause I am and I'm not afraid
It's up to you and me
And who's to say
These could be the good old days" - The Eels
I'm lucky enough to have a job that I can perform from anywhere with a strong internet connection (Software "Test Engineer"), but i've got a lease in Rochester for the time being. I really don't mind Rochester, but i've been spending a lot of time alone unintentionally these days (I just don't have many local friends anymore). Talking to a co-worker, I guess maybe that's not all that unusual, but at my last place, I used to have friends dropping by like 5x a week. I wouldn't mind moving to a bigger city for a few years (some place big enough to get all the bands to come around with reliable public transit so I don't have to worry about driving home). It'd be so nice to be able to drink at concerts without counting your drinks (so you know you'll get home without incident). Right now, I can't afford a place like NYC because i've got too much debt from feeding my passions like a glutton. I almost moved to Amsterdam in 1999. I was accepted at the University of Amsterdam, but they didn't get back to me until after I had to give RIT my decision.
I'm nearly always alone at shows and what not, so I mostly keep to myself. I generally know where i'm going and have everything I need so there usually isn't much reason for me to interact with strangers. The friends I do have left are close friends. I may not see them often, but i'd trust them with my life. Just got back from the Netherlands again in 2014 (another fun Cup). I kind of had my eyes on Greece / Turkey (where I haven't been before), but this was my first chance to travel with a friend (all my previous trips have been alone or with groups of strangers that mostly, eventually became acquaintances). Besides judging the Cup is a hell of a lot of fun anyways, so he didn't exactly have to twist my arm to get me to go with him instead of my originally intended destination. I aggressively pay down my debts, but frequently lose progress because I don't want to say no to the next fun thing. I guess i'm not so spontaneous because I always have plans down the road and resources pre-allocated. I'm not anti-social, but i'm just generally not one to initiate conversations with people that I do not know. I haven't met a single new person (who's name I can recall) since I moved back here two and a half years ago.
I guess that I might come off as a touch anti-religious, but that's not exactly true. It's been many years since I attended church services, but I do still hold some tenets of (Baptist) Protestant beliefs. I just don't believe it all. I'm interested in other religions too and i've been gradually reading through various religious texts.
Believe it or not, most people that have met me casually would describe me as one of the most laid-back, relaxed guys they know. I can be verbose if the topic is something that actually interests me. Admittedly, I do keep my cards pretty close to my chest.
The point of dating is to determine if that person is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, right?
Sorry, I cannot date someone with kids already, but I hope to have kids of my own some day.