I was born in the south and grew up in a small town in North Carolina where I spurned education and responsibility in favor of days filled with croquet and drinking and nights filled with board games and awkward conversations with both friends and also people I disliked.

Fact #1 = I am constantly nostalgic. I believe I miss people and places more than the average person to the point that remembering events in my life usually almost always causes a mixture of both extreme sadness and deep affection. Here is small list of things that have semi-paralyzed me internally because of their associated memories.

- The smell of a wet sweater.
- The 36th Ave subway stop in Astoria.
- A hastily scribbled note rediscovered in my wallet.
- The opening credits to National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

I remember a lot of gin and tonics, the wail of the trains as they pummeled through my small city and I remember being both infinitely at ease with my surroundings and profoundly dissatisfied at the same time.

So I moved here to New York. Took the train and read a biography of Allen Ginsberg on the way (which, as I'm typing this, I just now realize is the last time I read anything related the Beat generation. Just a random observation.) Got out at Penn Station and promptly took the wrong train trying to get to Inwood.

It's weird how certain memories stay with you and seem so vivid that you could believe that they happened just yesterday. That when you relive them in your mind that you almost somehow that if you

(to be continued)

I spend a surprisingly large amount of time planning board game nights. Seriously you would probably be surprised how much effort I put into it.

I'm also a sightseeing guide. Mainly I do biking tours, but yes I have worked on the double-decker buses. Feel free to ask me all about that shit.

I can juggle four ball (five if you let me practice), crack my knuckles like a mad man, roll a cigarette in five seconds, tell you height of the Empire State Building, and if I have the right equipment pull a sweet triple ristretto. I also make awesome whiskey sours, am pretty good at puns, and if you need a abundance of awkward moments just call me up. I'm also really good at getting obsessed about something for a couple of months then moving on to something else completely unrelated. That's how I ended up reading three books on pigeons.

My incessant need to make puns. If you don't like puns then I apologize for whatever time you've spent already reading my profile.

I use to have a really long list here, but then I realized that I didn't really give a shit when I read other people's profile what their musical tastes or favorite shows were. Or to be more precise I was never really surprised by the answers.

But just for a brief run down.

- A ton of American history books. Especially NY related.
- The Wire, Breaking Bad and Community
- Daniel Johnston, Jeffrey Lewis, The Fugs

1. Campari
2. Bacon
3. Wikipedia
4. German Board Games
5. Coffee
6. Books

Ramos Gin Fizz

* 2 ounces London dry gin
* 1 ounce heavy cream
* 1 egg whites
* 1/2 ounce lemon juice
* 1/2 ounce lime juice
* 2 teaspoons superfine sugar
* 2 to 3 drops orange flower water

Combine in a chilled cocktail shaker with plenty of cracked ice, then shake viciously for at least one minute -- preferably two -- and strain into a chilled Collins glass. Top up with cold seltzer or club soda

(Source = David Wondrich)

Looking for trouble. Failing that... Netflix.

My real name is Dick Whitman.

If you've ever watched Louie and you were like "I would hit that." then we should hang out. I'm not claiming to be a lot like Louie C.K. but I think that might be a fairly good litmus test for whether or not you'll like me.

Also if there's a certain part of you that wants to skip all this dating shit and go straight to the "making out while watching netflix and drinking part" then you should message me. Not necessarily that you WOULD that, but that there's a part of you that wants to.

Also if you want to actually do something in the real world. I'm big on the making plans and doing them as opposed to the e-mail pen pal deal.