-- Helen Keller
Do you sometimes get the feeling that there is something inside of you, something buried, something special, that you have no way of expressing or getting out? And you know that if you could express that deeper you, that greater freedom, then you could be more than what appears on the surface, the outside view. You can see it, almost, but it stays in its place because of a pragmatism - an over riding need for security and approval - that we all fall into at some point. Almost all of us. If you know what I mean; then read on.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Do you want an adventure? Or are you the kind of person who uses that word lightly? Do you live in a well defined comfortable box, or can you break out of society's confines? Do you do things; or is adventure to you watching other people do things?
I am very independent and I have been living in a Colorado ski resort for the last 11 years. I ski, hike, mountain bike and I have been working on an algorithmic trading system. When my dog died I carried her on my back and buried her in the mountains at 11,000 feet. Her grave is the only grave I have ever visited. I worked on wall street for about 20 years as a derivatives quant and risk guy but it wasn't challenging anymore. I need to constantly be challenged intellectually and physically, but not by trying to get along with dishonest or bureaucratic people. One can make lots of money by looking the other way or not making waves. You don't have to be smart to do that. And it is easy. But it is a waste of life.
Life is brief and I find trying to fit into one of society's boxes claustrophobic and a waste of precious time. I think society is evolving my way but too slowly. I know that this is a turn off to most people who feel comfort in conformity and the perception of security that it brings; even if they are loath to admit that out loud to themselves. I have had and continue to have an exceptionally happy, joyful and fulfilling life because I see the weakness in society's norms. If you could only see from higher up, you would perceive the comfortable safety rail you hold on to as one of the bars of a cage provided at great cost to you by a generous society.
If you are still reading then I have filtered out most of the people who are looking for the conservative, the mundane, the make believe secure. Congratulations. Hopefully someone is left. But one thing I know for certain is that if you are not reading on then you should not be with me.
There is one more filter i need to state clearly. I am simplifying but there are two kinds of people who do not fit in to society's boxes. If you could measure humans in some way for characteristics like independence, intelligence, thinking out of the box, strength of character, inner security, kindness and caring, empathetic, etc., and arrange these measurements into a histogram; then the measurements would form a bell-shaped normal curve. Most people would cluster in the middle. There are two tails of the remaining distribution. There are people who are in the left tail; those who do not fit in because they have problems and are not happy with life. Then there are people in the right tail who capture the characteristics I am looking for. If you are in the left tail, please assume that we will not match. If you are in the right tail, please give it a shot - no matter what your age or background because you are a diamond in a field of coal. (By the way I do know it is more complicated than that but you get the idea)
I am working on several projects which I will be happy to discuss if we meet. I have to create or I'd go nuts and that is more important to me than stability. I don't like manipulative or dishonest people. I don't like bureaucrats. I think they just live off of other people by manipulating rules. Conformity is a weakness to me that I don't have. I don't do well with people who see things in very simplistic ways; the kind of person who makes a statement of belief without even thinking through implications. I like intelligent, confident, passionate, adventurous, caring, empathetic, decent people. Not too easy to find. Perhaps not possible. Know that being with me is a ride that you have to be willing to take. If you are looking for the white picket fence; I burned mine a long time ago.
I haven't been with anyone for a long time. People tell me I'm too picky. But I want a woman I am attracted to, who is intelligent and has it together. Any one of those three characteristics is hard to find. I don't want to compromise on those basics because I know you pay for those compromises in the end.
And it is not so easy to find those three things. It is if you are an average person because most people are like you. And I am not putting down being average or near average, hell, society is designed for you. But suppose you are not average. Take this with a bit of humor but figure you are attracted to one in ten people. That I would say is very optimistic. Don’t you think? Now let’s say for somebody who is looking for intelligence and whatever they mean by that, it is maybe one in twenty people. Now when I say I want someone who has it together, I mean I just don’t want to be with someone who has serious problems. That also may be relative but we can probably all agree on the extremes. Anyway, say one in twenty. Now of course, I am a mathematician and this could only be fun for someone like me but it means that even with these somewhat optimistic estimates, you’d have to meet 10 * 20 * 20 = 4,000 people. So you can only be with one in 4,000 people. And then you might meet that 1 in 4,000 person and they also are looking for that 1 in 4,000 and you are not it. I think more reasonable estimates are 20 * 20 * 100 = 40,000. So if we meet each other and we like each other; it’s a big deal. That is why most non-average people end up compromising lots - more than they are likely to admit. If we like each other, have dynamite all-afternoon sex, and we don’t have to compromise all that much; we are very lucky. And although I am looking for something that fits all this and a connection, if you have nice legs; nice legs can go a long way.