ways to make my life easier.. for example
Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always
circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the
garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of
the stain and check that it has gone.
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to
the object you wish to view.
Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a
chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the flaming
thing in the first place!
Anorexics. When your knees become fatter than your legs, start
eating cake again.
Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak
or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat
substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't
know the difference!
Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no
doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell
them about yours, and ask for a nice steak!
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a
while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your
cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough
to insulate your roof!
A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep.
ironing. i love it. why not send me yours i will do that too
if god created all things bright and beautiful, who created the
I am passing this on because it definitely worked for me , and we
all could probably use more calm in our lives.
Some doctor on tele this morning said that the way to achieve inner
peace is to finish all the things you have started.
So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't
before leaving the house this morning,
I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle
of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies ,
tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the
Chesescke an a box a chocolets.
Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel.
Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece.