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53 Birmingham, UK Man


I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 40–51
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Jul 7, 2013
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Science / Engineering
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
shrek look-alike seeks princess, must possess ear wax to help in family business making candles. would really like a new best friend as the one i have at the moment is a bit of an ass! ability to parp in bath creating lovely bubbles essential. must have shoe with sole to mate with mine. (well sole mate sounds fishy to me ;) ) sense of humour essential willingness to pretend to laugh at my lousy jokes a must. extremely unique sense of humour, and able to embarrass my kids by the misuse of a chicken. quick witted, and so sharp that i could cut my own throat. in the habit of buying 40 cans of tuna on special offer at asda in order to give relatives something different for birthdays and christmas

proud previous owner of a reliant robin. though hedgehogs made a run for it every time i drove it.

fan of all the soaps..... but imperial leather is by far my favourite.

would love to travel, and one day i will actually get somewhere if i remember to turn on the sat nav.

I am spontanious, free thinking, and easy to please
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working hard and not playing enough! love days out on the bike as long as it is not raining definitely more fun with two people though!

learning how to play the trombone. my friends say i should make use of that excess wind.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
working through problems.
not falling off the bike! .
pinching other peoples trollies whilst shopping, and paying for the contents.
multitasking. can text with one hand and hold a mug of tea in the other... and breathe at the same time.

I have adog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was
standing in the queue at the checkout. A woman behind me asked if
I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot
Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works
is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified,
she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had
been poisoned.

I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

why else would I buy dog food??
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
i have no idea!and i dread to think ..probably fat scruffy so and so, would not ,could not!
i tend to look at eyes first myself, they are the windows to your soul.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
David Gemmell, reading Charlie Higgins books at the minute , love Sci-Fi films, not a great modern horror fan, the imagination part that made films like alien and psycho scary and great to watch are not there these days, too much graphical ,not enough imaginative input
any films with the feel good factor
50 first dates
something about mary,
Adam sandler films.
and i love a bit of birthday cake when the kids remember to save me some.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my Bike :) never been without one, when i die chuck it in the grave with me :) mp3 walkman, i love music, on line shopping.. oh the joy of no queues! my glasses. helps me read the cooking instructions on the tin of beans :) ; my kids, after all i have to be nice to them as they will choose my nursing home.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
ways to make my life easier.. for example

Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view.

Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the flaming thing in the first place!

Anorexics. When your knees become fatter than your legs, start eating cake again.

Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference!

Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak!

High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to insulate your roof!

A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

ironing. i love it. why not send me yours i will do that too

if god created all things bright and beautiful, who created the ugly ones?

Inner Peace

I am passing this on because it definitely worked for me , and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

Some doctor on tele this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and,

before leaving the house this morning,

I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies ,

tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets.

Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel.

Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
off out catching up with friends and family. (Edit well my dad died so there goes the family !) Friday nights now spent sleeping as I work nights

playing sun bingo online. I know ..sad git till we have some evening sun to get out and enjoy
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
i love to watch the sound of music in character. though the lederhosen is started to get a lttle small now.
watching my bosses face in meetings when my phone starts ringing with "bananas in pajamas" ( i have relented and settled for Knight rider,as he said it would increase my chances with the dolly birds and would make me so much more macho than nacho )
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you fancy a chat about anything,im easy to converse with .you have a bigger bike than me.and a sports car.and a bar of chocolate.and love ironing.
Small updates made. Mainly looking to talk only and friends, enough of the psycho women and my own poor decision makings!
Feel free to babble on about nothing in particular :)