I'm looking for a man-hating, twitchy neurotic with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. Over time you will project all your dady-issues on me and grow hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Extra credit if you just finished dating every guy in town but now want to take it slow with me.
I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that ruins my life instantaneously but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into alcoholism. No friendships. I don't need any damned friends. Age unimportant, but I often condescend to women under 35 and rehash mother issues with women over 55. Serious replies only, please.
Okay, that was the pitch....
Here are the bits and pieces.
I'm 49, I live in Bartlett, Illinois. I'm fun, a father to my kids, a tad quirky and a smart-ass (you've been warned, lol).
I love my job.
I'm addicted to nicorette gum.
Willing to Lie About Where We Met
I like walks in the moonlight and going to the movies.
Honesty, someone who has goals in life, outspoken, charming, funny personality, are all traits I look for in my friends and partners.
I'm respectful and open-minded.
I love kids, but not on the first date