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39 F Oakland, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Poorly), Greek (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I’ve been told that if I were a cat, I’d be the feral one who comes to eat on the porch. That said, little by little, I'm becoming more domesticated. Not yet sure if that's good or bad.

I’m a shy and introverted one at the outset, but playful, flirty and mischievous once I start feeling comfortable with someone.

I identify as andro/tomboi/genderqueer, but, like most other folks, there's a lot more going on. I’m frequently mistaken for a guy (especially in women’s restrooms), but I’m learning to be ok with this and own it.

I have a deep appreciation for queer femmes, especially very smart ones.

I have a new found love of French cuffs, cuff links and bronze collar stiffeners.

I'm beginning to learn Argentinian tango (lead to begin but ultimately switch) and thrilled there's such a vibrant queer tango community in the Bay Area.

I think intelligence, playfulness, integrity and emotional depth are all super sexy things.

I love the Greek islands (Cyclades especially), and hope to return to Greece sometime very soon.

I feel pretty fortunate to live in this beautiful state of California and try to take every opportunity to explore it; I'm always up for day and weekend trips up and down the coast, to Vichy mineral baths, Orr Hot Springs, hiking at Point Reyes, overnighting on Angel Island, or to a lighthouse, they are such evocative sites of desire for me. The physics/optics behind the original Fresnel lenses in lighthouses continue to amaze me. I can really geek out on this stuff.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to be as authentic and honest with myself and others as possible. Learning to see my vulnerabilities as genuine strengths. Learning to live and love with grace and integrity.

Trying to be as courageous as possible because I believe Maya Angelou is totally spot on with this one: “Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.”

During the day I work with scientists and engineers at UC Berkeley and, coupled with my life as a poet, it makes for quite a balancing act--you could say that my life-long ambition is the synchronization of my left and right brain.

I just published my first full length book of poems in early 2014 which is more of a relief than anything else. Now I'm focusing on writing for the second book.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
making a woman feel loved and special, and, in general,
being generous to others, being playful, lifting heavy things (I am freakishly strong) nurturing things, as in people, flora and fauna, line breaks (as in poetry)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My eyes, sometimes they are blue, and sometimes they are green and they are (I am told) never the same pair of eyes twice.

My hands and how I use them. . I have unusually large hands for my size and people often ask what I do with them (i.e. play the piano). Sadly, I do not play the piano and wish that I did. Nonetheless, I tend to make women very happy with my hands.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I am big fan of foreign and independent films, Pedro Almodovar and Agnes Varda, queer cinema. Anything Hitchcock, Orson Welles, or with Paul Newman.

A few of my faves The Gleaners and I, The Beaches of Agnes, Spirit of the Beehive, Man Facing Southeast, Alphaville, the Umbrellas of Cherbourg, Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill.

I'm a super sucker for Mad Men, Sherlock, Breaking Bad and now House of Cards. I'll admit to having had a long term relationship with Deadwood at one time.

Music: Gillian Welsh, Rachmaninoff, Hendrix, Cash, Beethoven, Patti Smith, Emmylou Harris, Patsy Cline, Dylan, Waits, Springsteen, Mumford & Sons, Townes Van Zandt, Bach's variations for the harpsichord, Dusty Springfield, bluegrass, Coltrane, Dolly Parton, concertos for the cello, and funky stuff...I could also listen to Judy Collins sing "Amazing Grace" for a very long time.

Right now, I'd say my five desert island books would be: Nightwood by Djuna Barnes, Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson, My Ántonia by Willa Cather, Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin and Franny and Zooey, JD Salinger and any of Simone Weil's writings.

My other literary heroes are (just a sample): Frank O' Hara, Susan Sontag, Eileen Myles, Michael Ondaatje, Whitman, Faulkner, Rilke, Flannery O'Connor, William Carlos Williams, Nabokov. There's too many to name. Also the Greek Tragedies, Pre-Socratic philosophers and the Greek Lyricists. The complete Sherlock Holmes is like comfort food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My amazing community of writer and artist friends. They are an anchor in the drift of the world. When I first found my community of writers and artists in the Bay Area, I found myself.

My intellectual curiosity: it's my qi, keeps me moving in the right direction.

My huge, extended family living back in Minnesota. They are what I call home.

Being in and around bodies of water.

The color blue, especially indigo.

Strawberry rhubarb pie and cocktails, especially at the same time.

Long, hot soaking baths.

My legs; I love to wander.

I guess that's 8...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
bio-diversity in the face of climate change, the next poem, snowfall, stars and sex.

How online dating demystifies the space of getting to know someone and how unfortunate that is.

How one must have the mind of winter...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
You'll definitely have to contact me on this one to find out...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been arrested for doing something kinda bad, but not THAT bad. oh, and I DO NOT wear girl underwear, but I hope that you do, and I'm a true switch.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like girls
  • Ages 33–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
if you are curious about anything I've mentioned here...
if you're an adventurous, free-spirited person looking for a meaningful connection, and you want to geek out together.
if you grew up working class and you wanna connect with someone else who did, definitely contact me
if your cat(s) or dog(s) need a new pal...
if you want to learn tango with me (or any other partner dancing for that matter).
if you're kind of sassy and want to grab a cocktail together and get sassy with me.
if you want to help me break in the beautiful Kitchen Aid I’ve had for the last 10 years and have never used (ya pathetic I know).
If you're looking for the one you might want to keep and you think we might be contenders for each other...