Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I created an OKC account several years ago mostly as a science
experiment. All I can say is that is has been interesting.
I used to have more profile pictures, but someone seems to have
taken particular offense to the picture of my cute dog licking my
toes so OKC decided to remove them. I guess when I think about it,
I never did get permission from my dog to post his picture, so
maybe it is just as well.
I keep my OKC account mostly because I forgot my Facebook password.
I can’t believe that happened, but it did. But that is OK. I had
mostly finished up trying to have sex with every girl in my
elementary school anyway. All I can say is “thank you Suzy
Harrison, now Suzy Monroe of Chicago, Illinois.” You were AWESOME!
And don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.
Hah! I actually made all that Facebook stuff up. Most profiles seem
a little uninteresting to me so I thought I would add something
spicy even if it is untrue. You don't suppose other people lie on
their profiles do you? I wonder.
Me? I like to bike and swim. That is mostly because those sports
allow me to wear super form fitting clothing that leaves nothing to
the imagination and no one seems to mind. I wore my swim suit to
work one day and was told it was “inappropriate”. So I like to swim
and bike. I don’t like to work as much.
I also don’t like stress too much. I tried meditation once. I got
comfortable, counted some beads and blam! my mind all of a sudden
went blank. It kind of freaked me out. My thoughts are some of my
favorite things so I actually didn't like losing them. So now to
relax I watch sports on TV.
BTW, I also almost got a perfect score on my SATs. So if we match
less than 50% you might want to go back and check your answers. I
am pretty good at these things.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Thinking. Mostly thinking. I live in my head a lot. There are lots
of dark and empty rooms up there and some of them are pretty cool.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I can tell you exactly what the first thing is that people notice
about me. See, I like to sneak up behind people and listen to their
conversations while pretending to look away. So if they catch me,
the first thing that people notice is that I am listening in to
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have a love/hate thing with libraries. I love them, but hate that
I read so slow. Have you ever seen those science fiction shows
where some super charged being reads a book in like 30 seconds? I
wish I was like that. Gone with the Wind, Pillars of the Earth,
East of Eden, boom…done. Every once in a while I do go into the
library and do that in front of everybody just for fun, but in all
honesty, I don’t think anybody is buying it. Also, sometimes I get
paper cuts doing that so I am thinking about not doing that
anymore. It just doesn’t seem worth it.
I only watch sports on TV. So I don’t watch TV. I watch
I like music. Especially the good songs. You know the ones.
I eat to live, not live to eat but I don’t think I have had a beet
in a long time.
Movies? Let’s see. That would probably be one of “Boobalicious”,
“Breast Worship 2”, or “Jada Fire is SquirtWoman 1”. I'm just
kidding. All I can say is that Google is amazing and who would name
a movie "Jada Fire is SquirtWoman"? I wish I was that creative.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Is there anybody out there?
I think I answered too many questions on OKC. Most of them are
pointless and reveal nothing useful.
I think OKC had a germ of a good idea but it got away from them. I
now think that OKC is pretty much a waste of time like a ton of
other things on the internet. That must be why I keep checking it.
I wouldn't want to do anything productive. That sounds like
Here is another thing I think about. I am pretty much an atheist. I
was in a bar the other night telling this to a religious friend of
mine who simply could not understand this. But I told him about the
night I was lost and stranded in the arctic with temperatures
plunging looking death straight in the eye. With no alternatives
left, I got down on my knees and I prayed to God to save me. But,
somehow my friend assumed that I had had some kind of conversion.
“Why?” I asked. “Because you are here, God saved you” he said. But
then I told him that it wasn’t God that saved me. Instead right
after I finished praying it just so happened that these two eskimos
happened to walk by and took me back to their village. That was
I actually stole this nugget from David Foster Wallace, but I think
it is brilliant and kind of sums up the problem with our world. It
is worth thinking about.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Going to bed early so I can get lots of sleep all weekend so I can
go into work early on Monday morning with a smile plastered all
over my face.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once embezzled about a half a million dollars from my former
employer. I had to go to prison and 9 years but they let me out
after 8 because the truth is I really am a nice guy. But I usually
don’t bring this up in normal conversation.
Hah! Another lie to spice things up. I do wish I had the half a
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You should message me if we match 100%. I am curious how many
questions we will answer differently when OKC thinks we match 100%.
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