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tobelouisck

50 San Francisco, CA Man

Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 35–55
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:15pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Status
Single
Type
Mostly monogamous
Offspring
Has a kid
Speaks
English
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Live update: Wow, the coyotes in my little area are howling tonight. Saw one today running down a trail.

Perhaps you visited my profile previously. You may note that it has changed almost completely. Do not be alarmed. For good or ill, I remain more or less the same.

I am still a lover of cigars and bourbon - a trait women find nearly irresistible, no? Still a devoted father. Still a psychotherapist (they can have my license back when they pry it from my cold, dead hands).

It may be worth noting that I am now certifiably divorced. Effectively single for about a year and a half.

Born and grew up (physically, at least) in South Carolina. Lived in Buffalo, NY, for eight years. In San Francisco since 1996. Once upon a time I was enthusiastically, perhaps compulsively, active: running, cycling, swimming. Now I work out grudgingly, mostly with an eye to remaining alive and something shy of repulsive.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Seeing patients. Trying to get more patients. Raising my boy. Recovering from raising my boy. Swimming laps. Being tortured by my trainer. Eagerly awaiting becoming a clinical supervisor. Almost there.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening.
Talking.
Remembering.
Shutting up or not, depending.
Fending for myself.
Building things that solve absurdly specific problems.
Accumulating and applying knowledge.
Keeping an open mind.
Knowing when good enough is good enough.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Giants baseball, on TV/radio or in person. Samuel Beckett. Freud and friends (Lacan, Winnicott, Searles, Bion). Joan Copjec. Susan Neiman. Horror movies. WG Sebald. Paul Bowles. Lars von Trier. Raymond Chandler. Most anything with Robert Mitchum or Viggo Mortensen. David Cronenberg. Words With Friends. Rice and beans. Burritos. Peruvian. Steaks. Louis CK. Bill Burr. Amy Schumer. Eminem. John Cale. Just started watching Ray Donovan. But you know what? Those mutherfuckers at Comcast lure you in with three free episodes and then force you to subscribe to Showtime. So no more Ray Donovan right now.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My son and my work - those are givens. Further:

I have a dozen+ black pocket t-shirts, and this is what I wear up top pretty much all the time.

My gazillion pairs of sneakers, and the promise of more.

An ample supply of my favorite socks and underwear.

Colorful handkerchiefs! No, not the kind one hangs from the back pocket to signify a wish to be peed on, or whatever.

The trinkets with which I decorate my office. Alway on the prowl for trinkets.

The aforementioned office.

The odd little corner of San Francisco that I've settled into. I hear coyotes some nights. What I thought was a mourning dove is apparently a great horned owl. And the skunks! They amble by all the time.

Coffee. I do not stand in line for coffee. Or anything, really.

Overcast skies and fog. Seriously.

My eyeglasses. Blind without 'em.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Comedy, especially improv and stand-up. It's far from irrelevant for my work.

Dialectics.

Psychosis. Narcissism.

The gulf between is and ought.

Why is New England clam chowder so common, and Manhattan clam chowder so hard to find?

That smell. What is that smell?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
My son is with me Friday nights. That could mean we're at a Giants game or a movie, or else at home chilling after a trip to the driving range or the tennis courts. Or sometimes the driving range and the tennis courts. He's hella active. Though he broke (and had to have surgery on) a finger last month. That has put a crimp in our routines.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I play Words With Friends entirely too much.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
This section has been through more iterations than any other. Too hot, too cold. Too hard, too soft. I won't say this is just right, but it's a decent bowl of porridge.

You value conversation and emotional connection over activities.

Being in love matters to you. Sex matters to you.

You don't think you have it all figured out.

You have a pretty good idea of where you come from.