Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Not so much a self-summary, more a self-autumnal. (How you regard
the calibre of this pun will tell you if it's worth continuing
further or just mashing Hide until it all goes away.)
Things I Value:
Intelligence, creativity, tea, compassion, feminism,
intersectionality, marmite, clearly formatted nutritional
information panels, Nintendo's back catalogue
Things I Abhor:
Racism, misogyny, xenophobia, absolute moral certitude, bananas,
the Daily Mail, people who believe what they read in the Daily
Mail, The Big Bang Theory
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Sometimes I rearrange words in order to find the most aesthetically
pleasing sentences. More often, I find excuses to
I am writing a novel. (It's a philosophical treatise on the nature
of mortality, possibly disguised as a story in which a guy goes
around punching vampires in the face.)
I am also in the middle of two screenplays, have impractical ideas
for a handful more, and occasionally find myself doing things like
plays and poems and lyrics but they're not really my forte.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
As you may have already detected, I have the ability to form
complete sentences, fully utilising the wonders of spelling,
grammar, capitalisation, and punctuation; even semicolons and
One could go on to say that I am a cunning linguist, but that would
be terrible and I'm clearly above that sort of behaviour.
I can cook. Pizzas are a speciality. Most recipes are within my
wheelhouse. I attribute this to having a modicum of common sense.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
A real human being actually said to me once "You'd make a good
lesbian." I believed her.
When I'm not having my gender identity thrown into flux, people
have been complimentary about my eyes. Or that I've said something
funny and they may not have been expecting me to.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
If Tove Jansson's Moomin tales have not made their way into your
life, rectify this omission immediately.
Other authors I found hugely influential:
Robert Jordan, George RR Martin, Robin Hobb, Iain M Banks, Frank
QI, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, @midnight, Doctor Who (1963-1989),
Game of Thrones, True Detective.
I am virtually musically illiterate about anything from this
century. Someone who knows their way around the various scenes
would be helpful in this regard. Stuff I do like: AC/DC, Led
Zeppelin, Thin Lizzy, Fleetwood Mac, Johnny Cash, Heart, Muse,
Nightwish, Whitesnake, "Weird Al" Yankovic
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
You know the version of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs where someone
has scrawled "wifi" across the entire bottom of the pyramid? Yeah,
so very, very true.
Yorkshire Tea is my Ketracel White.
I would also have literally dropped dead if the gorgeous people of
the NHS weren't looking out for me. Thanks Aneurin! <3
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Does that apostrophe really go there? No? Are you sure? I could
have sworn "Potatoe's" was correct?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I would like to use this opportunity to extend the offer of one (1)
free hug to any accredited healthcare professionals that might be
reading this. You're all bloody wonderful.
You should also send me a note if you'd like to go cycling around
Oxford, collaborate on the Guardian crossword, or play Minecraft
together all afternoon.
A Note: I am sadly aware that men on dating sites are pretty
awful as a species. I wish I wasn't one of them, but I'm kind of
attached to my genitals. Literally and/or figuratively. Women find
themselves on the receiving end of an inordinate number of
messages, of varying levels of incoherence or presumptuousness. As
part of a conscious effort not to be part of the problem, I promise
not to send any unsolicited messages. I hope it helps.
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