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tomtomato

36 M Saint Louis, MO

I’m looking for

  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 22–48
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Apr 18, 2013
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm 31, 5'7" and out of college. I grew up in Omaha, NE until i was 23. I finally graduated with a BA from UNO in creative writing in 2007. I have an older brother and younger sister who live in L.A. and Brooklyn respectively. My father died in '07, but i still have a mother and step-dad who both live in St. Louis.

I lived for four years in Durango, CO where i set up a record store while working at a lodge. The business dissolved, and, as a result, i ended up with a lot of recorded music. As of November 2010, I've slowly been selling off the leftover records from the store on ebay. I'm sick of hauling them from apartment to apartment. Also, since I've become unemployed, I need to make some extra money. I also DJed at a local college radio station. That was a lot of fun and i'd do it again in a heartbeat.

From around '05 until late '09, i lived in Denver. It was there i completed my degree. I worked as a valet and later in a gigantic record store. When the economy went to shit (it's still shit, isn't it?) I was laid off. I spent all of 2009 collecting unemployment and looking for work until I moved to St. Louis in December. Since December of 09, I have worked 3 different jobs. 2 I left. 1 fired me. I am now on my fourth job cleaning offices. It begins the 8th of July. I am going to try to stick with it and I think I will this time.

My hobby, at one time, consisted of collecting all of my favorite non fiction pieces into a zine. After about four years, I had created 3 zines, each approximately 20 pages in length. I was very proud of them, though i don't think they had the effect I was expecting or hoping for from the people to whom i distributed them. I'd really like to continue my journaling, but I've become so frustrated with writer's block, I don't know if anything will materialize in the near future. My most recent creation came in fall of '09--a piece regarding a friend of mine who'd become troubled around the same time as i was having great difficulty with my own life. I haven't heard from him since we were both in our early 20's. Anyway, I don't want to go on and on about it. A publisher was interested in it, but as far as I know, they never got around to it.

So... onto the next thing.

Looking for friends.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have a writer's group that meets every Monday at 6:30. It has been going strong (sort of) for five or six months. We just had two more people join last week.

I can write and am writing. The group has helped me pursue my writing life with prompts (although I make up most of the prompts, they help me).

I am seeing a lot of movies. And i did just get a job doing phone work for the NYC Opera (01/12/11). Update (02/02/11): I quit that shitty job.

I took a continuing education class in screenwriting and completed it. It was a very well-structured class for beginning screenwriting. I hate that I haven't used any of it to pursue screenwriting. I don't think I really like where I live and find it difficult to write here.* Also, I have fostered several kittens.

I would like to return to school eventually if all else fails. That would probably mean me leaving STL for Omaha.

(04/26/11) I got a job dishwashing at a cafe. I really like it and want to keep this one for awhile. My mom is in the middle of a divorce and selling her house. I have fish.

(07/03/11) I have a job. I am working as a janitor.

*The best laid plans... My ideal, for whatever reason, is to get out of this big city and transplant to a smaller town. I want a place where nobody knows me. But I don't want to be entirely alone, either. If I could find that great girl (heck, guy, too) who'd pack up with me and head out, that would be ideal. I don't know what it's like to live in a small town, particularly as an adult--and in this area, to boot. So any of you who have opinions on this--perhaps you lived in a small town, perhaps you transplanted to a small town later--let me know your thoughts. My mom, who did live once with my dad in a small town before I was born, hated it. I'm sure I'm probably romanticizing it, but baby I'm ready to move. And if one of you says, "Oh yeah, it's great," I'll probably go on that word rather than the fifty who say no, don't go.
P.S. If you have preference for certain small towns, let me know.

I'm sure by now you're getting very bored with me, but I do have other ideas, plans I'd like to see through. I'm not settled being a fucking janitor forever (unless it's in a small town:)). I believe in community. I believe in making places better than you leave it. But, like most people, i also believe in making money.

Enough for now. Moving on...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
It's hard to write anything here and not feel arrogant about it as many other okcupiders have testified. But I am a decent wordsmith, I suppose. I love words. I love scattergories. I like to feel intelligent. I like to be the guy in the classroom who gets it. I want to be acknowledged for my self, my existence. I want to inspire someone. Inspiring one person is enough to tide me over enough not to starve in the interim before i figure out something else about myself, about other people, about humanity, sexuality, heart, and to write about it. I have high hopes. I still believe... In enchantment, I suppose. Some very small part of me--the spark to write--seems enough, seems reasonable. It's so tiny, yet I have so much faith in it! I suppose I am not good at anything. Because that's not what's important. Which is to say one's self... Is the truth. The truth is not what other people value in you or your writing. It's what you believe in that counts. And yet, one writes specifically to touch someone else's soul. And as a writer, I believe I have done that even if no one acknowledges it. And they may never acknowledge it. And that's okay. And i guess, if this is self-delusion, I'm okay with it. I'm really good at self-delusion.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
hair and eyes. I'm a looker.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Brett Easton Ellis has been one of my favorite writers since i read The Informers when i was about 15. My mom bought me the book and i've been hooked ever since.
A Fan's Notes is another book I appreciate. Frederick Exley wrote it. I've read and enjoyed John Fante and his son's work. Other favorites include One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and Howl. I really enjoyed George Orwell's Down and Out in Paris and London. There's more. I remember reading the short stories of Stephen King when i was pretty young and really digging them.
I don't want to sound like an idiot here. I have read a considerable amount of literature as anyone who majors in creative writing or English can attest to. Some works I've read and enjoyed from college include anything by Shakespeare, Mark Twain, Homer, Carl Jung, James Joyce (though the idea of reading the entirety of Ulysses without being assigned it for a class isn't really appealing. I have respect for the man, that's all).
Lately, i've been reading non-fiction; a book on sex and one on gut feelings.
My favorite novels are the graphic kind. I love Crumb and think he is one of the most important artists of the last century. Also of intrigue to me are C.F., who created "Powr Mastrs", and Jim Woodring of "The Frank Book" among other works. I've read so many artist's work in the last couple of years that i could go on, but i won't.

I'll eat anything. Soups. Noodles. Steak. Burgers. My favorite fast food is CBW's Pesto Chicken Wrap. I'm a basic meat-eater. I eat salads, but mostly sandwiches, burgers, boxed food. I know that probably doesn't sound very adventurous. I can be a bit of a miser. I used to be a strict vegan. That lasted about 8 years and I grew into a Juggernaut of a cook. I'm returning to that style of cooking these days, but I don't know for how long. So if you want me to make you some vegan goodies, I'm open to that.
Music... Is an addiction to me. Bowie is topping my favorites most recently. I never had a "Bowie phase" growing up. I guess i'm having one now. Nor was i much into the Cure growing up, but they're high on the list as well. I like psychedelia and stuff from Italian skin flicks. Soul music kicks ass. I'm a big fan of shoegaze. I think i have like 36 days worth of music on my ipod or something like that. I can't express how disparate my inclinations are. I love Simon and Garfunkel. I love old hardcore music. I'm into some metal. I like free jazz and experimental stuff--real weirdo shit...

I like classical, particularly if it's on vinyl. I miss the classical station here. I believe it was called KFUO. I really do feel like it's a huge loss. I find classical soothing, and tuning in to and from work calmed me down. I can't stand a lot of 'classic rock'. I hate all the damn songs they play to death.

i'm going to quit writing about music, unless you ask me to continue.

Movies: My Dinner With Andre, The Darjeeling Limited, Wes Anderson's other films, A Single Man, Brokeback Mountain, No Country for Old Men, The Godfather, Soldier's Girl, One Day Like Rain (apparently, most people hate this movie). Mike Leigh cannot be underestimated. I like 80's flicks--John Huston's films, horror movies, action flicks, especially those that take place in NYC. I don't know why i have this fascination, maybe New York really is magical. This is pretty dadgum boring.

Movies have been pretty important to me since a young age.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My Car
2. Notebooks
3. Computer
4. Sleep
5. Radio / Music
6. A Friend
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Time and change.
Death, sort of.
Facing my problems and healing.
Keeping hope.
Dream friends.
Getting to sleep.
Relaxing.
What the hell is going on.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Looking for work, watching tv/movies, walking, reading, eating out, getting coffee. I dunno. I'd like to do more. I'd like to go bowling or fishing or camping...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm trying to re-capitalize my 'i's. I got into the habit of not capitalizing when typing my stories, but I've got to get used to capitalizing them in case i ever get a writing gig.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Just do it. don't need a reason.