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torlief

36 M Albany, NY

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:17pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Job
Other
Income
$40,000–$50,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
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dearest okc ocean,
oh how the fog and mist of your cryptic might can obscure the plotted course. yet sometimes a beacon shines through and the rocks are avoided as the harbor or the open sea presents its beauty and magic. you dont make it easy for vessels to have real genuine contact here, passing each other in the digital murk. but its worth the waves tossing us about... knowing that in these waters are kindred spirits.
##########################################

"colour my life with the chaos of trouble,
cause anythings better than posh isolation."

type B that gets shit done and is organized. extrovert. exceedingly helpful. will lay on the tracks for any friend at any time regardless if they are having a good day or a bad day. i want to hear what you have to say. ENTJ, but im not entirely sure what to make of that.

i dont believe in right and wrong or good and evil. im interested in nuance and contradiction. like the in between spaces of whats best for us and whats best for others. how do we reconcile conflicting needs? i agree that you cant be neutral on a moving train so im invested in accountability and taking responsibility for privilege. i am a feminist and anti-racist who is not without folly but completely committed.

how do we balance these things with kindness and empathy? how do we remember to laugh and adventure? and to hold out open hands without expectations?
What I’m doing with my life
"I'll be working, working but if you come visit
I'll put down what I'm doing, my friends are important"

working on an amazing old building i own.
living with lovely people.
gardening.
bicycling and motorcycling all over.
using instruments to make a lot of noise.
hanging hard with the pooch.

oh, and helping people during emergencies, administering first aid and running into burning buildings. they pay me for this, and its the best job in the world.
I’m really good at
"on the other side, you will find
all of the tears, you never cried"

listening.
multi-tasking.
being level headed.
making beds.
talking or silence.
honesty.
organizing.
connections.
fixing things.
working hard.
being well adjusted.
loving people.
The first things people usually notice about me
"You dont have to be strange to be strange,
You dont have to be weird to be weird."

garlic? hopefully on my leg, not my breath.

that im filthy and carrying some piece of wood or steel and fixing something with it?

disarming persona?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
"And who by brave assent, who by accident,
who in solitude, who in this mirror,"

books: the bluest eye, living my life, assata, the road, watership down, native son, house of leaves, the grapes of wrath, 9 stories, the wasteland, soledad brother, brave new world, anything by bell hooks or james baldwin, reference books. social/political non fiction

movies: biutiful, the decalogue, the golden door, sunshine, putney swope, the proposition, pom poko, la moustache, daynightdaynight, children of men, matewan, tuvalu, alien, the edukators, i am cuba, ali: fear eats the soul, a single man, let the right one in, brazil, The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, dead man, beastmaster
anything by bergman or kurosawa

one of the scariest scenes ever put on film

Music: slint, unrest, digable planets, low, the velvet underground, sonic youth, kraftwerk, gang of four, belle & sebastian, a silver mt. zion, deerhoof, neil young and crazy horse, sleep, the smiths, talking heads, abner jay, fugazi, grauzone, leonard cohen, johnny cash, lungfish, john fahey, das racist, santigold, nina simone etc...

and im having my mind blown by dirty beaches and death grips lately...

photo: bernd & hilla becher, salgado, eggleston, nan goldin, harry callhan, minor white, cartier-bresson, vivian maier.

Ygritte from GoT
The six things I could never do without
"We all know what we know, it's a hard swath to mow
when you think like a hermit you forget what you know"

my lovely friends
roshi moshi (felis catus) & magnet (Canis lupus familiaris)
engaging critical discussion
getting dirty in the garden
access to the news (al jazeera, democracy now and local news)
hard, meaningful work
I spend a lot of time thinking about
“Along with the idea of romantic love, she was introduced to another--physical beauty. Probably the most destructive ideas in the history of human thought. Both originated in envy, thrived in insecurity, and ended in disillusion.”
- Toni Morrison, The Bluest Eye

“All of us know, whether or not we are able to admit it, that mirrors can only lie, that death by drowning is all that awaits one there. It is for this reason that love is so desperately sought and so cunningly avoided. Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”
- James Baldwin, The Fire Next Time

fire. (the literal manifestation)

corrupted masculinity and what it actually means to be a gentle-man
On a typical Friday night I am
"If the water should cut my life
If the water should cut my line
If the water should cut my mind
set me Free"

anything is possible.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
"And hang on to each other
Hang on to each other
Hang on to any fucking thing you love..."

i cant listen to this song without crying...not that there is anything to hide about crying, this one just really gets me, every time
the partisan

and i never make the first move.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–50
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
i want to meet new people and hang out and have fun and whatever that looks like is fine with me. it may feel totally platonic like a new friendship, and/or it may feel like the possibility of more. i think you cant force or contrive these things, so no worries...

that being said, im a great date. and no pressure, friend dates are the best right? if it evolves it evolves...if not than it wasnt meant to be. im easy to be around, a good listener, thoughtful, fun and never ever sketchy or pushy. a good time is promised!

if this piques an interest please do say hello