Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I grew up in a beautiful valley in the foothills of New York where
cows outnumbered people 3 to 1. I moved to Georgia when I was
thirteen and have been here since.
I’ll just run through a couple of quick things that I think are
very telling of my character:
Of all my family members (20 aunts and uncles and 16 cousins, my
parents and sister) I was the one who was honored in receiving both
of my grandfather’s most important earthly possessions after they
One night I heard screeching rubber on pavement followed by an
explosion at the end of the neighborhood. I grabbed my flashlight
and ran in the direction of the sound. A car was flipped over
amongst some trees. I was the first on the scene. I was horrified
what I would find but I investigated closely anyway… When something
horrible happens my reaction is always ‘how can I help’?
The one part of my body I am historically least proud of is my
nose. My mother prayed to God that if she were to have a child
damned with her nose that it would be the boy. Prayer answered. The
benefit is I was forced into developing a deep sense of humor.
There is no one that crosses my path who doesn’t feel comfortable
joking with me. Humor preserves my humility and provides relief
from the seriousness in life.
I am the absolute opposite of who I was growing up. My room is
clean, I make schedules and plans for everything, I don’t play
video games, I always have multiple projects, and I iron. I suffer
from the inability to plan social events for myself. Despite being
outgoing and socially refined, these unfortunately have been too
low on the priority list. Like pictures! I’m not opposed to them at
all, I just never remember to take any.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Taking on every challenge I can experience. I'll need it one day
when I'm elected to the presidency :-)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing the saxophone (like a brotha).
Eating peanut butter cookies.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
They wind up telling me I come across much younger. I think I look
my age, must be my energy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Pillars of the Earth, The Other Boleyn Girl, Atlas
Shrugged, The Stand, everything by Malcolm Gladwell or Robert
Greene, The Notebook (read it WAY before the movie just out of
curiosity. embarrassing that I loved it.) I also have a personal
library of nearly 2000 books, mostly non-fiction. And they are
real, not e-books.
Movies: I like all movies from Sharknado to 300 to Moulin Rouge to
Dirty Harry. Its a Wonderful Life is still one of my fav. And
Christmas Vacation can be watched all year.
Shows: House of Cards. Firefly. The League. New Girl. Bar Rescue.
Music: It all depends on my mood. I prefer rock and even heavy
metal. I like country, classic rock and prog rock. I am beginning
to enjoy orchestral more and more. Big band music has always been a
love of mine ever since listening to my grandfather wail away on
the sax in his own stage band. If there is one music genre I wish
would come back it would be funk. Funk makes everyone move, it is
the essence of soul. If rap would adopt its more funky roots I
would be more of a fan. Rap has its place mainly when I am
preparing for an athletic event where I need to go kick ass.
Seafood sucks. Everything else is amazing. I know, I alienated half
the world's cousine. I grew up on farm fresh corn, steak and
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A premium hand rolled cigar.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Lord, am I going in the right general direction?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Walking to a decent restaurant for dinner with a friend or just
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Someone got the bright idea of asking the director of my
department, as he walked by, if he wanted to join our Secret Santa.
Of course being a good boss and “team player” he said yes. I have a
reputation at work of being the funny guy who does not fear toeing
the line of what is appropriate and what is not. This is likely due
to a very strange confidence that if I talk long enough I can make
anything ok. My wonderful coworkers did not share my confidence and
were unnerved at the idea of having to buy the director a gift. So
Adrienne, who was in charge of drawing the names for everyone, set
Mr. Director’s to the side for yours truly. I didn't know him well,
but I couldn't resist the opportunity of experiencing something
that will one day be a great story. So naturally I bought him the
most inappropriate object possible. A Santa hat thong. Thank you
Spencer Gifts. I proceeded to Target for a very formal,
professional, non-Christmas, holiday bag. I set out for the finest
candy shops I could find. Thank you Google. You see, Mr. Director
is a huge Ohio State fan who loves chocolate like a depressed,
single lady on Valentine’s Day. I was privy to a custom peanut
butter filled chocolate called a “buckeye.” What else (besides the
obvious) would be more perfect to put in a Santa Hat thong? Sadly,
after visiting three shops (and calling a half dozen more) I
settled for the finest gourmet chocolates the mall had to
Now that the gift buying was over my conscience finally made an
appearance. It begged me to find something else. As the date got
closer for the party the strength to follow through with my
original plan began to falter. I employed the best mechanism in
conquering fear: I ignored it. At the last minute I compromised
with fear wisely adding a very nice card inscribed with “I’m hoping
you have the sense of humor we all know you have.”
Mr. Director didn’t make the Christmas party. I was temporarily
saved. My boss, knowing my good nature, hesitantly opened it in his
absence. The sudden urge that I would get fired fully overcame me.
I blushed a deep read. It was too late. There was shock fueled
roaring laughter. Knowing that it went well with my colleagues
didn’t give me much comfort when I looked over at the supervisors
who just covered their mouths and looked at me. Of course somebody
who knew him instantly snapped a picture and texted him his new
garment. My supervisor came over to me clearly recognizing the
concern on my face and tried assuring me, “I think he’s got a
pretty good sense of humor. Don’t worry.” She had the eyes of pity,
not too convincing. I ordered a strong drink for myself.
After a few minutes and enough time for me to order another bourbon
on the rocks, Mr. Director replied.
“My wife will enjoy it. However, it looks a little small.”
People were rolling on the floor.
Later I found that the ‘gift that was too small’ had been passed
around the corporate bigwigs as they pranked each other that
Christmas. Thanks to the conscience that urged me to include a nice
card, they all now know my name. That was a year ago and I’m still
employed. I think it’s safe to say it went over well.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You never want again to feel like you are dragging a guy to a
musical, museum, chick-flick, or family event- I love these things
and do them anyway. (Don’t worry, I’m still a man. Drinking beer,
shooting guns, enjoying sports are still all included. I’m just a
little more well-balanced than some others.)
If you want to see Jurassic Park at The Strand Friday night! Just
like being 9 again, except maybe with an adult beverage in hand :-D
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