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24 Kansas City, MO Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 21–33
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 8:52pm
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
5' 4" (1.63m)
Body Type
Other and laughing about it
Working on Two-year college
Doesn’t have kids but might want them
Has dogs and Has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My name is Tommie. I work a lot. I am a lover of animals. I'm short and chubby. I'm cynical and sarcastic the majority of the time. I quote movies, talk shit, and enjoy doing absolutely nothing. I am an open minded individual. I'm a Green Bay Packers fan, but I'm from Kansas City. I'm very confident in myself, and enjoy sharing my opinion to those who are interested in hearing it, and sometimes to those who aren't. I say a lot of offensive things, and enjoy laughing at others expense. I pride myself on being honest. Oh, and I'm extremely loud, if that bothers you, then go away. I also think talking about politics, astrology, psychology, sociology and religion is mentally stimulating. My ultimate fear is dying in my shower. I'm not here to judge, just observe and report.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working full time, watching a lot of Netflix and Hulu. After seeing that typed out, I'm realizing I may need to reevaluate my life.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Petting animals.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I get a lot of comments about my boobs. I'm not saying this is always a good thing. I'm just saying it seems as though that's usually the first concrete statement I get from people. "Wow, you have really big boobs!" I usually respond with, "I'm so glad you told me that because I don't own a mirror!"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Honestly, I don't read very many novels. I'm more of an article reader. Reddit, memebase, news, zodiac (more for entertainment purposes), sociology, psychology books interest me. But some of my favorite movies would be Dumb and Dumber, Tommy Boy, Step Brothers, Trailer Park Boys, The Truman Show, Shooter, Kill the Irishman, Billy Madison, Moulin Rouge, Natural Born Killers, Grandma's Boy, Donnie Darko, Wristcutters, Dirty Dancing, Caddy Shack, The Wedding Singer, Boondock Saints 1 and 2, and Alice in Wonderland (the orginal).
Some shows I watch are: The Office, Arrested Development, That 70's show, Weeds, Dexter, Workaholics, Intervention, iZombie, Scandal, Grey's Anatomy, Law and Order SVU, 'Til Death, Archer, Ren and Stimpy, Rocko's Modern Life, Ah! Real Monsters, okay, you catch my drift.

My music preference really depends on my mood, because you know, I'm a human being, with a wide range of emotions. Lately, I've been listening to a lot of Marina and The Diamonds, Drake, Bayside, Lil Dicky and Bastille.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Most likely water, and food would be my first two by default. I probably couldn't live without oxygen, or my heart either. Or someone else's heart. I NEED A HEART TO LIVE DAMN IT. And I honestly would flip out if I woke up without any eyebrows. I could live without them, but I would probably need to be checked into a mental institution. I'm just being an ass at this point. Next question.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My dreams. And scenarios that will most likely never happen. I honestly think of really intense ways I could die. Not like in a morbid or depressing way, more like, in an ironic or completely unrealistic way. Well, anything can happen. So nothing is really "unrealistic" when you think about it. I mean, you have seen Final Destination, right?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Getting high with your dad.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I'm pooping, my right foot falls asleep.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you are looking for a friend, companion, partner in crime that could possibly manifest into a romantic relationship and/or remain at a friendship.
I'm not looking for a one night stand, this isn't a bar.
And I'm not looking to be someone's fuck buddy, I don't need a dating site to find someone to fuck me.
I like beards a lot, and in general I am interested in men who are older than me.
I hate when people get specific on these things, but it seems as though my sarcastic demeanor attracts the wrong type of guy, and frankly I am sick of guys messaging me about sex or, "Wanna hookup?" No bro, I want you to fuck off.

I am a huge supporter of equal rights and if you don't believe in equality for all, then don't waste your time or my time messaging me.