I have this perception problem, or maybe a problem of intention, or both, that I would like to explain to you. I can't really tell what people look like, beyond very obvious features like extreme thinness or obesity, for example, or the color of their hair or skin, by a collection of photographs. I can't put together photos in my mind and create a three dimensional model of a person in order to decide if I'm physically attracted to them or not. And photos don't show me the sound of a voice- or the nervous, calm, or blank and robotic combination of sensory inputs that communicate so much when you're talking to a person who is right in front of you. So I want to meet you in order to figure out if I'm attracted to you. Because without that I'll never know. I like knowing.
But there's a further complication even after that. If I meet you, I still may not know if I'm physically attracted to you. I'm attracted to people when they are attracted to me, and I don't know if you're aware of this or not- but women in the United States don't often directly communicate their attraction to men that they don't know very well. So there would be a high probability that even if we met, neither of us would ever figure out if if the other person were attracted to us. Which is hilarious! But also unfortunate.
Now to intention: I have never intended to have a one night stand, and due to a combination of the fact that I do not drink alcohol, my lack of impressive hair and height, and my missing one night stand desire gene, I've never had one. I'm not opposed to it ever happening- it's just that I don't know how it would ever happen given those factors. I also don't understand what I would gain by only having sex with someone- which is an activity that is hypothetically very enjoyable- for only one night. Why would I have sex with someone that I'm presumably attracted to, have a good time while doing it, and then never want to have sex with them again? Unless the sex is bad. But that seems like it generally only happens from a lack of effort, in my experience. And why do things at all if you're going to do them poorly? For me, sex is a form of communication. And if I had a conversation with a person, and it wasn't absolutely horrible, I would probably have another conversation with them. Things might peter out after a few conversations, sure- if nothing interesting ever came up, why force it? But not everybody is on top of their conversational game at all points in time. Sometimes you need more than one opportunity in order to show what you've got linguistically. And if the first conversation is amazing? It seems like more conversations would then follow.
But very clearly, I am a weirdo.
Everybody is lonely. This is what drives nearly all human action.
There is very intense cultural pressure to obscure yourself in an overall strategy to ensure that you will not be alone. This is prevalent in all social contexts (not just in dating- online or otherwise). Most people won't go to extreme lengths like going to the trouble of inventing a false persona in order to attract others, but nearly everyone is guilty of initially (and continually) putting as little of themselves forward as possible in order to allow people to freely project their hopes and desires upon them. We engage in this willful obfuscation because it works! Obscuring oneself is an incredibly effective way to maintain access to as many people as possible for when the horrors of loneliness strike.
Hypothetically, we are all here specifically because we desire freedom from such blankness with at least one person; a person with whom we can be our true selves and share our most intimate thoughts whenever we feel the need. But I think we all understand, at least subconsciously, that this is generally not the case here any more than it is in our workplaces, or at the grocery store, or when meeting our lover's parents for the first time. It's a very difficult switch to flip.
If you scroll down, or even back up, you will notice that my profile is extremely long. This shit just keeps going. There is absolutely no mandate to read it all- we would get to all of it in person eventually if the circumstances were right. And yet it's there, and because it is there, most people can't resist at least picking through the carcass for pieces of meat that either attract or repulse them, depending on their particular inclination. It's a trap! Don't read it! Or do?
Here Is The Interesting Part:
If my goal in being on this particular dating website were to go on as many dates as humanly possible, or to have sex with as many women as possible, all I would have to do is delete 95% of what I currently have presented here. It would require practically no effort at all! From the perspective of the average user of this website, our current culture actually penalizes us for providing more information- which is a fascinating paradox that all of us actively contribute to nearly every time we interact, or choose not to interact, with another human being.
Also, I've recently heard from a very reliable source that guys who are big into nipple play often develop long, banana-shaped nipples as a consequence of all the action down there. Similarly to what babies do to teats, you know? I'm looking for someone, or a group of people, to regularly play with only one of my nipples- my left nipple- for at least six months in order to see if there's any truth to this. Serious nipple inquiries only. Frankly, it's shocking- shocking- how difficult it is to find people who are willing to contribute to this very noble and purely scientific endeavor. I don't mind rejection, but this is getting ridiculous. I really thought I'd be getting my nipple licked at least daily by now. And time marches ever on!