Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello, my name is Jay and yes, I admit it, I pretty much just look
at your pictures. Do you actually read these? =P
I came from a very small sperm. And, there was this ovum that came
from my mom, but I’m pretty sure that I was mostly the sperm part.
Later on in my life an ex-girlfriend would say, “300,000,000 sperm
and you were the fastest?”
I grew up a poor white child in Broward County and I’ll never turn
back…because I’m afraid I’ll turn to salt.
I’m a fun and honest guy and I have an awesome job in television .
. . well, not actually in television, more like on the couch
watching television . . . oh wait, that's the answer to a different
question. I do have a job, I like my job . . . I've been doing it
for about 25 years! I also have a college education and a couple of
degrees (Fahrenheit and Celsius).
In person I’m pretty shy when it comes to women…so that’s why I’m
hiding behind this computer. And, my skin sparkles like diamonds in
I’m pretty ambitious…I am the recipient of the first place award
from the Professional Couch Potato-ers Association of America for
three consecutive years. I left my amateur status in 1999.
Also, I am not a total fat ass. I try to exercise everyday for 30
minutes on my stationary bike. And, I usually eat fairly healthy
Anyway, good luck to you, because I can have any woman I please.
But, apparently so far, I haven’t pleased any of them.
Actually, I don’t want to put too much information on here, because
I can only handle one woman at a time. =P
So, If you want my body and you think I’m sexy…
Come on, sugar, let me know.
You will fan me and feed me grapes…actually it’ll probably be the
other way around. =) Maybe we could do something like go shopping
so I can buy you a new car. Let me know.
But, if we do have a date, or something, then we’ll tell everyone
we met when I dropped an egg on your foot at Walmart (the one on
Hillsboro Blvd and 441 – the big one).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Whatever everyone else is doing!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Filling out online dating profiles . . . well, maybe not; but, I'll
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That depends upon whether or not we are facing each other. In
either case, I guess, they notice that they're standing or sitting
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favorite books include anything by Kurt Vonnegut! I like Sci-Fi
movies and comedies. As far as music goes, everyone loves a polka .
. . right? I guess I'm eclectic when it comes to music. Yes, i like
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. my heart
2. my lungs
3. my skin
4. my circulatory system
5. my brain
6. my penis (you probably already figured out I had to put this one
. . . )
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Politics and sex. As the years go on, I think about politics more .
. . or is it sex . . . I'm not sure :)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I iron my underwear . . . not while I'm wearing them though!!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're absolutely out of your mind . . . or if you want to meet a
nice guy who likes to cook and likes nice restaurants!
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.