While I constantly preach equality and awareness of trans issues,
even I was surprised (astounded actually) by the overwhelmingly
supportive environment here on OKC, which appears to attract very
open-minded, intelligent people. Lots of guys here have already
dated transgender women -- one guy in Boston emailed me to say that
two of his siblings are trans!
May I also use this space to answer a few of the most common
questions I get in emails? Here goes:
Yes, it is transgender, and not "transgendered." Think of it as the
equivalent of someone's ethnic or religious heritage. You would
never say an "Asianed female" or a "Christianed female" or a
"Polished woman." Well the latter is probably not the best example,
but you get what I mean!
Yes, it's okay to ask me about transgender rights. But it's
inappropriate to ask any trans person about their personal surgical
or medical history, since trans people deserve privacy, like anyone
else. Asking a trans person if they are "pre-op or post-op?" or
"which hormone regimens do you take?" is a subtle way to insult
them. Most educated people realize that the trans person will
voluntarily share this information, when necessary.
Yes, I date meat eaters, Republicans, military service members,
nonreligious people and ultra religious people.
No, I can't easily describe "what I'm looking for" beyond the
qualities I've already written about. Being a traveler, I guess I
currently treat relationships like a first class Eurail pass -- a
precious document that takes you to fantastic places, but part of
the excitement is that the overall journey is not all planned
Yes, I would consider meeting someone at Starbucks for an informal,
low pressure chat over tea. I actually do that pretty regularly and
I enjoy it.
No, I don't have any ethnic, cultural or age preferences. Variety
is quite delicious!
No, I don't do "online only" or "texting only" penpalships. I don't
have Skype, snapchat, kakao, kik, etc., so please stop asking. If
it weren't considered rude, I would write in all caps that I just
feel more comfortable (and fulfilled) communicating the old
fashioned, in-person way.
But the quick messages I get where people say "I know I live 3,000
miles from you but I wanted to say that what you're doing on
transgender issues is great for society" are welcomed and very
touching. I sometimes read these messages aloud at my discussion
groups to lift and encourage others.
And that probably puts me at the 1,000-word mark!