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38 M Denver, CO

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Today – 7:13am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Atheism, and laughing about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Sales / Marketing
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello ladies. Go straight to the height, income and education.
I always do.

Alltruerealistic optimistic cynic.

Important facts-
I'm like great coffee, hot and strong.
I'm like an onion, I have many layers.
I'm like southern biscuits, rich and flaky.

Tall, dark, and handsome seeking pale, pink, and wholesome.

Open Position: Part-time girlfriend with opportunities for advancement to full-time and more. Duties include keeping a positive attitude, dealing with my silly shenanigans, being a patient dance partner, taking road trips, and looking awesome. Current passport a plus. All bills (shoes and matching handbags) included. Apply within.

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.
~Capt. Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Carribean~

In conclusion, if you aren't having fun, you're doing it wrong.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Writing "make list" at the top of my to-do list.
Checking the first thing off my list.
Avoiding an essay on concentration.
Keeping pictures current on my profile.
P90X (the results are SOLID!)
Volunteer coaching youth football.
Procrastinating later.

Q: What happens when you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards?
A: He keeps coming and coming and coming...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
...Internet dating (kinda)
...Replying SLOWLY (I REEAALLY try to respond to everyone)
...Reading backwards
...Touching the earth
...Not getting pregnant
...Beating lesbians at their craft

At the risk of connecting with someone too much like my mother, I'm going to admit I'm a Virgo; we are perfectionists.

The thing I like about myself the most is that I'm not conceited.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If our numbers are...
-high, you're probably a liberal, or high.
-low, you're probably a conservative, or slow.
-mixed, you are probably a critical thinker. (<--want!)

Shopping for ladies
Every picture is of me when I was younger
I perved on your profile and didn't send a message
I don't have shirtless selfies (like some of these fellas---> --> ->)

The mailbox is full, again.

HINT: You don't need to pay .99 to send me a message. I mean, unless you really feel compelled to.

SECRET: 1. Rate me with the number of stars that twinkle in your eye when you read my profile. If you have enough twinkles, the OKC Bot is required to spill the beans! ;)
2. Allow your inner grammar Nazi to suggest an edit.

I am loud, and laugh louder
My inner child is on the loose
Body Type: Husky, Full-Bodied, Strong, Burly, Robust, Hearty, Beefy, Brawny, Hulking, Strapping, Strong, Above Average, etc. (I trained and ran a marathon in the 260's, and now I'm in the 240's. So many of my pictures are of me when I was bigger)
I have converted the standard issue male human figure into 6 feet of rippling steel and sex appeal! Ha!!

Not an ex-con, alcoholic, attached, abusive, or otherwise mentally unstable.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
FOOD: I eat for pleasure (are you picky when it comes to food?)
SHOWS: Avid theatre goer ('theatre' means NOT a movie, ahem)
MOVIES: Comedies (not a huge movie watcher)
MUSIC: Live performances (sucker for live music)
BOOKS: I was reading a book on memory by somebody famous; but I forgot where I put it. So I started reading a book on anti-gravity; I couldn't put it down. Then I stayed up all night just to watch where the sun went; then it dawned on me. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

“If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!”
― John Waters
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The alphabet
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why single moms are incredibly under-served.
What kind of candy it will take to get you in my van.
If online dating is a symptom of excessive online shopping.
What I would do for the person who makes this for me
Milankovitch Cycles

What is the economic indicator when law school graduates appear in increasing numbers on a free dating site. :-P
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
In good spirits...sometimes in good spirits with spirits.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Let's have a little fun with this, I...
have my pirate's license.
have spent a night in jail.
do yoga.
have been published.
have served on jury duty.
spent Y2K outside the country.
have a grandma who wanted me named after Benjamin Franklin.
have a genuine autographed fatality report of myself.
have ridden a Greyhound bus across an entire state.
own my own car.
can be taken advantage of with chocolate and peanut butter.
played college football in my 30's.
ride a motorcycle.
write scathing replies to the sexual requests I receive.

It is up to you to figure out which of the above are true. (;
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Your profile needs help.
You're ripe and receptive.
You want to call me on my B.S.
You would like to take a shot at my "privates"
You want to take a shot at someone else's privates. (link doesn't work on mobile)-:
You can make me laugh
This made you laugh. (link doesn't work on mobile)-:
You didn't use a variation of the word 'douchebag' in your profile

You have amazing and shapely gastrocnemii and solei.
(it is a higher order of intelligence thing, apparently) (link doesn't work on mobile)-:
You have a picture of you shooting a gun, or holding one.
You think we might run an awesome asylum together.
You have pictures on your profile you didn't take.
You DO NOT have pictures with the camera looking down your shirt
You have long since outgrown your college sports teams on which you never played, and professional ones as well

You might listen to NPR with me.
You show me how to can (preserves!)
You're fit enough to rock a 5k with me on 2 hrs notice.
You want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on me.
You like the idea of making babies, or want to practice.
You want to whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
You can show me how to grow a vegetable and herb garden.
The idea of having a sailboat for long-term travel is appealing.
You think OKC users should have member feedback, like Amazon.

You're genetically awesome
You might be described as 'sturdy'
You're unique, just like everyone else
You are NOT fiscally liberal OR socially conservative
You used to be indecisive, but now you are not sure
The thing you like most about yourself is that you're not conceited
You have equal parts sass/crass/class & know when to use them
You see the hypocrisy of Apple product owners who criticize Wal-Mart
You want to join me in saving the world, or destroying it (depending on your perspective)

OK, OK, all seriousness aside, you should REALLY inbox me if your biological alarm clock is at a level 3 or above.

1. What did 1 fish say to the other fish when he swam into a concrete wall?
2. How many variables are in a Milankovitch Cycle?
3. What does a man and a snowstorm have in common?
4. If 1.5 chickens lay 1.5 eggs in 1.5 days, how many eggs can 9 chickens lay in 9 days?

Truth told, if you smiled, or maybe even laughed at any of the above, you should at least shoot me your best good standby joke. Because if your profile read like this, you're going to have to demonstrate you're personality. If I laugh, it might be a match and we're off like a prom dress!

Remember, you are in a sea full of cute and smart little fishies competing for the same things you are. Be considerate and clever, stalker. Oh and one last thing, welcome to OK Cupid, where your odds are good, but the goods are odd.