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23 Ottawa, Ontario, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:46am
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
When drinking
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Working on masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Arabic (Poorly), Russian (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
As a Moroccan-Quebecois, I am technically more African-American than most African-Americans.

I write math for a living, and I play drums casually. If you want a guy who can talk dirty to you using analytic combinatorics while finger-tapping a drum solo all over your body, look no further.

I had 3800+ questions answered before, but I decisively cleared them all out a while ago. Now, my OkCupid personality tab says that I have maximum spontaneity. Working as intended.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Taxpayer money is being rerouted directly into my bank account so that I get to play unbelievably complex games of connect-the-dots with other adults, all day long — believe me, that is more accurate than you think.

In other words, I'm doing a masters in computer science at Carleton. As for later: I'm undecided between pursuing what is guaranteed to be a great career as a prolific researcher on the bleeding edge of computing science and mathematics, or becoming a part-time Ottawa-based comedian. That was a joke. *cough*
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If you're white, you'll think I'm brown; if you're brown, you'll think I'm white. There is only one answer though, and it took me 23 years to figure it out:

Launch your favourite photo editor, select the "TOOTH WHITENING" brush, and try to smudge it across my face. I'll spare you the effort: it does jack shit.

I'm white as the devil, y'all.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Currently eating up books written by sad hermit-like misanthropic French old fucks, e.g. Céline and Houellebecq. I have a huge reading list and I somehow expect to get through it all by turning at most 2 pages each night before passing out in my chair. What can I say — I'm an optimist.
Otherwise: The Pigeon, Notes from Underground, The Possibility of an Island, The Kreutzer Sonata, American Psycho, Neuromancer, The Sirens of Titan, etc.

Game of Thrones, Firefly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, House of Cards, Six Feet Under, The Wire, South Park, True Detective.

The Fountain, American Beauty, Donnie Darko, Taxi Driver, Fight Club, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Lost in Translation, Oldboy, Y Tu Mamá También, etc.
Okay, you get it, I mostly like movies about crazy people.

I am a colossal music hipster at heart. Mostly into electrodeathcore grind-hop arctic psychodrone. I mean: ambient electronic, downtempo, trip hop, jazz, and post/math rock. For instance:
Moth Equals, Nils Frahm, Boards of Canada, Shigeto, Tipper, Lilacs & Champagne, Bonobo, toe, Grails, Mouse on the Keys, etc.

I am inexplicably healthy despite consuming at least 600% of the daily recommended intake of cholesterol, every day.
In terms of actual food choices: tabasco, sriracha, unsalted butter, salted butter, just generally butter whatever I don't care how much fucking salt there is, etc.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
● Walking.
● Meaty bass riffs.
● A handy cheese-filled epipen, for emergency cravings.
● Lentils.
● Mathemagics.
● Really strong coffee and really strong beer. Really strong coffee-flavoured beer.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Brains, math, shit that people do, things that don't make sense, chickpeas, roundabout ways of accomplishing things, and other essential questions such as:

● How many nights in a row can I eat frozen pizza before dying of Ebola-like symptoms?
● Why is it socially acceptable to be an outspoken fan of Fifty Shades, while people seem disgusted when I tell them about my passion for Japanese gameshow tentacle porn?
● Are people from Vermont really that weird?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Remembering that banks are closed on weekends, and getting angry about it. Getting angry about forgetting that banks are closed on weekends. Trying to remember that I always forget, and remembering that I always try.

Otherwise: relaxing, picking fruit flies out of my scotch, hanging out with friends, reading poorly typeset academic papers, or playing a video game.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If left unattended, my nose hairs grow long enough to curl and hook around my nostrils. I pluck them regularly and it hurts like hell. These fucking things are rooted so deeply, it feels as if I can trace each hair's path from my nose, running through the back of my head, coiling down around my spinal cord, and finally taking root in my heart — yeah, pulling on these hairs literally tugs at my heartstrings; I have to get pumped up for it and stare myself down in the mirror, but no matter what, I walk away every time with tears streaming down my face.

All of this just to have a clean nose. At least for a couple of weeks.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
As a rough measure of compatibility: if you think that the existence of "Chicken Soup for the Horse Lover's Soul" is absolutely hilarious, we'd probably get along.

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