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51 Philadelphia, PA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 45–60
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
6′ 5″ (1.96m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from masters program
Rather not say
Mostly monogamous
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), German (Poorly), Other (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've lived in West Philly for the last year, and I've become enchanted by my new village of the black-eyed susans and feel like I've found my place, at least for now. Before that, though, I lived in a treehouse for three years. Technically it was an apartment over a garage, surrounded by tall trees and a bit secluded, but I called a treehouse and so there. It looked a bit like a doublewide trailer dropped from the sky and landed atop an abandoned courtyard, or maybe a spare cabin from another planet. Even with my return toward civilization, the treehouse will remain a state of mind and heart with me. Or at least that's what I tell myself when I feel like letting the adolescent loyal opposition of my psyche have a playdate with the rest of me.

I am happily divorced and on good co-parenting terms with my ex, after a long separation and a lot of unnecessary drama, now amicably fathering my three spawns (ages 22, 15, and 13) with whom I spend as much time as the lot of us can stand. They'll be my priority until they can drive and make french toast without burning down the building, so understand that I may drop everything to prevent one or more of them from starting a border war with West Virginia or whatever scheme they may have cooked up at the nonce. I guess what I'm saying is that I love my kids as much as I'm scared of what sort of sociopaths they might be and I'm going to put every second I have to into guiding them through their prolonged adolescences. If you have a problem with that, then you'll have a problem with me, and neither of us need that kind of crap in our lives; ave atque vale.

I've been in and out of the dating (cess)pool over the last couple years and am dipping a toe in again despite having no tolerance for most of the general drek that accompanies men and women trying to impress one another. So I'm simultaneously enthused and reluctant to be back in this presentation of self in allegedly romantic life and already tired of the crap that we do to each other in the name of love and sex and the rest of that - and yet here I am writing stuff on the internet that will never go away. I hope the good parts will be properly cited or at least not blatantly ripped off.

(by now a lot of nominally sensible women will have clicked off to another page, so if you're still reading at this point, may the gods help you and also thank you for diving into the perilous unknown...)

By this point in my rambling blather you've surmised that I might be a difficult person. That's partially true, but not on purpose. On one hand, I feel like I've deprived myself of the joy of connecting with someone for way too long. On the other hand, I don't have the slightest interest in going through the rituals of pretending to be anything other than myself. I have lived alone for a long time and am quite comfortable with it. So know that I can be prickly at times, but often in a fun way.

(Oh yes, it's so all about me. Riiiight.)

This doesn't even scratch the surface. I pride myself on a long habit of performance poetry, talking in front of groups, writing until I cry - and just to write a simple self description? I'm stumbling with words and the emotions wrapped therein like chocolate bunnies to be saved for the holiday morning - or should I bite their luscious ears off right about now? If that makes sense to you, message me right now. If it doesn't make sense to you, don't worry, it doesn't to me either. In either case, the bunnies should be dark chocolate, 60% or better.

Still here? If I haven't frightened you off by now, you're either hopeless or wonderful. Or both. I so hope it's both.

If we wind up deciding to meet, it will either suck or be outstanding. Or maybe just plain boring. After all, I'm a middle aged academic/explorer/weirdo. Right now I'm exploring the possibilities with no expectations other than please be 1) single (or) permanently separated (or really just) available, 2) in possession of a mind and a heart and generally not (too) insane, and 3) not a smoker or a heavy stoner or a junkie. Everything else is wide open.

I am more comfortable with who I am now than I've ever been. If we have a mutual spark, let's play with it; if not, then let's not.

You're still here? You're either nuts or delicious, or maybe both. Either way, message me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
In general, I am a geek, a librarian, college professor, and a writer of occasionally smutty poetry and prose fiction. I'm pretty dedicated to my teaching habit; I get a severe rush out of teaching my classes and even more of one when my students do well.

I am spending as much time as possible with the kids, which boils down to roughly twice a week on average. I also have a nasty cat habit (both the habit and some of the cats are nasty), and have somehow managed to turn a semi-feral stray into more or less a house cat, even if he is a bit of an asshole (then again, so is his roommate).

I'm in my fourth year of a yearlong experiment in living without a car. It's part of a larger move to live more sustainably, or possibly that I don't want or need the headache. (Plus, there's always PhillyCarShare.) My goal is to retrofit my living space into something that doesn't depend (so much) on destructive industry or tacky design.

My real drive is in creating. I write a lot - more now than I have in a long time - and perform my work at monthly open readings. In general I love to make things, whether that's art things or kitchen things, or sometimes just general trouble. I used to play with yeast quite a bit, making excellent bread in the cool seasons, tortillas in the warmer months, beer when the weather and yeast can agree on it, but I've put that aside for now since I started laying off the carbs. Also, I live too close to the Dock Street Brewpub to think I have any business brewing beer anymore. I can grow the hell out of tomatoes and peppers and berries, but I don't have a place to grow stuff at the moment. I won't be able to endure that too long, and I expect I'll get myself arrested for planting chiles in sidewalk cracks soon enough.

Making Things also leads me to appreciate Things made by others or by themselves - I can stare at art or architecture or landscape or creatures without any goals or purpose, sometimes just being present is enough.

I meditate semi-regularly but haven't been able to sit for very long since the warranty on my knees expired. So I wander about or sit on trains and trolleys and count my breathe and do all that mindful shizzle. Occasionally I also meditate with a couple of groups, but I am not much for groups.

I practice a hybrid of yoga and qigong with a dash of a few other movement styles I've picked up. I have given up on running ever since my knees started acting their age, but I've jumped into the Philly Bike Share program and am searching for a bike that can tolerate both my own frame and the East German minefields, aka Philly's roadways.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Talking to dogs
Listening to cats
Being on stage
Being alone
Climbing hills
Baking bread and tortillas
Growing chiles and basil and catnip
Some things I don't completely understand and can't even describe, despite the first item on this list
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm tall, and my eyes are beautiful. Both true.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm a librarian by training, disposition, and avocation, so the accurate description of my "favorites" would have to be "ALL THE BOOKS!" I generally have two or more books going at any given time, usually one fiction and one non. I just started on Nick Tosches' latest (Under Tiberius), and the last few I've read included Aziz Ansari, Harper Lee (yes, THAT one), Roger Hobbs, Jennifer Baumgarner, John Scalzi & Wesley Chu. Some of my favorite authors are. On deck are Ernie Cline & John Burdett. A few authors that regularly float my boat are Neil Gaiman, Neal Stephenson, Michael Gruber, Pema Chodron, Barry Eisler, Margaret Atwood, Jalaluddin Rumi (especially as translated and read by Coleman Barks), Lee Child, Pablo Neruda, Christopher Moore, Robert Crais, Ursula K. LeGuin, Richard K. Morgan, Pablo Neruda, Kim Stanley Robinson, Salman Rushdie, Haruki Murakami, Michael Connelly, Anthony Bourdain, Martin Cruz Smith, James Crumley, bell hooks, Daniele Bolelli, Jim Butcher, Steven Pressfield, Walter Mosley & Patricia Lockwood - and that's just for starters. I'm a reading addict and not even remotely interested in recovering.

Movies? I tend to go for ones off the beaten path, often edgy or cerebral or just plain weird, but sometimes escapist flicks are fun too. I'm a sucker for sci-fi and/or noir with deep plots and characters. Serenity. Upstream Color. And probably some others I can't think of right now.

I haven't actually been to a movie in longer than I can remember; the ones in my head are more compelling (and failing that, there's netflix).

I generally don't watch television - I don't even own one, because it seems like a useless expense and for me a time waster. I have a slightly addictive/ADD personality and easily get sucked into TV, so I tend to avoid it. But there are a few tv series in my Netflix queue (House of Cards, Sens8, lots of sci fi, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Adult Swim cartoons, and a few from Anthony Bourdain's production house). They run along the same lines as what I described for movies.

Music would be another "Too long to list here" category. I grew up on punk rock, John Coltrane, and blacklisted folk singers. My ears like to wander and will stay a while with anything that comes from a place of heart and soul and guts and isn't too discordant. At the moment I can't stop listening to Postmodern Jukebox. A few other seeds on my Pandora channels are the Bill Evans Trio, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Afro Celt Sound System, and The Foo Fighters. I might change any or all of those in a heartbeat.

Food? My culinary identity contains multitudes, navigator and explorer and blind idiot food god. I have only just begun to explore the smorgasbord of Baltimore Ave and expect I'll be on a restaurant crawl for the rest of the year. I have been a professional fry cook, Tandoori dishwasher apprentice, and semi-revolutionary restauranteur. I was raised by a Southerner who inspired me to learn a fraction of her capabilities, and I tend toward Mexican, Pan-Asian, and I Don't Know What That Is But I'll Try It. If I ever got a tattoo it might read Cook And Destroy.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My library cards
Something to write with/on/in
The bones in my ass that allow me to sit down and shut up now and again
The existence of human females
That voice inside that reminds me to enjoy the ride
Creatures of the semi-wild variety (yeah, that's seven, so what)

The rest is just commentary
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
weird stuff, trivial nuances, big pictures, how cool the world would look if we gave permanent markers and cans of spray paint to kindergarteners and drove them around town setting them loose. And so on.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
(what is this "typical" you speak of...?)

I have a standing date with my kids Friday afternoons, so most often I'll be at home relaxing/unwinding after that, out in the urban woods if the weather allows or even if it doesn't. Sometimes I'm grading papers or on a Netflix jag or reading meta-post-neo-pulp fiction, or having a staring contest with the cat. It depends. I have even been known to go out on a Friday night, although I generally prefer to do that other nights - I can tolerate crowds, but I generally don't like them.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Is that sometimes I'm scared shitless of the future and willing to step into it anyway. Also, I have Barry White on my alarm clock app playlist.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you haven't run away by this point. Really.