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29 M Cleveland, OH

My Details

Last Online
Today – 1:51pm
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Judaism, and laughing about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Sales / Marketing
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats

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My self-summary
Kids, this is the story of how I met your mother... well, maybe not but it can't hurt and hopefully it doesn't take locking my children in a room for nine years to finish. How is future Ted Mosby not in jail? After the ending of that show they should all be thrown into a Siberian gulag.

I moved back to Cleveland last year after spending the last two years in Scranton, PA. Yes, that is a real place and no, Dunder Mifflin and Schrute Farms are not, sadly.

I graduated with a degree in journalism, and, like most journalism majors, am not a journalist. For fun, I'm a renown roller derby announcer/broadcaster and periodically a skater. I'm pretty much a carnivore, eating only meat and cheese. I am sarcastic, dry, offensive, love all things Doctor Who and Game of Thrones (I often greet people with "Valar Morghulis"), and use horrible, yet hilarious puns. Was the class clown growing up and still am a big kid at heart. I constantly think of SNL skits but forget to write them down. I have been told that my personality is the perfect combination of geek and bro, probably because I make constant Star Wars and sports references, constantly.

I'm not too creative when it comes to first messages on here because let's face it, an online introduction, no matter how awesome, is going to be a little awkward but I promise you that once the ice is broken I become quite the conversationalist. Everything I know about dating and romance I learned from my mentors, Cory Matthews and Sean Hunter.

I don't have many deal breakers, but if you are a Pittsburgh Steeler fan do not contact me. I have no problem with fans of any other team, but being a die-hard Browns fan will prevent me from ever loving or respecting you as a person. Yinz get me?
What I’m doing with my life
Did my mom put this question on here?
I’m really good at
Doing impressions, especially of the Muppets. I know way too much useless information that I bring up randomly. Sending awkward first emails on here that usually get me ignored. Their loss though, I'm delightful. I can also predict every Daily Double in Jeopardy. Worst mutant ability ever.
The first things people usually notice about me
My glasses. They make me look like a genius or something. Also handy for a dramatic removal now and then.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies: Avengers (and most other superhero movies), Fight Club, Major League, Star Wars, Anchorman, Ghostbusters

Music: Oasis, Foreigner, and anything 80's.

TV Shows: Big Bang Theory, The Office (with Steve Carrell), Mike & Molly, Parks & Rec, Arrested Development, 30 Rock, Dr. Who, Game of Thrones.

Books: A Song of Fire and Ice (Game of Thrones)
The six things I could never do without
In no particular order...
1. Burritos
2. iPad
3. Roller derby
4. Memory foam beds
5. Flip flops
6. Cleveland Indians

If I had a TARDIS, that would be on this list too.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The most important questions of the universe, but I have ADD so I get distracted easi... Squirrel!... Hot dog!... Tree!... Bicycle!... Moon.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
That I'm actually filling this question out.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–99
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You have the guts to send the first message. after all, this question is asking you if you have the guts to, so if you do, do it. And if this at least made you giggle, I'm flattered.