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30 Cleveland, OH Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 1
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Judaism, and laughing about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Did the bright orange bow-tie get your attention? Works 60% of the time, every time.

Born and raised here in Cleveland (East side!). I moved back a few years ago after spending a couple of years in Scranton, PA. Yes, that is a real place and no, Dunder Mifflin and Schrute Farms are not, sadly. I've lived other, more popular places too that you would have probably heard of without a TV show taking place there... But none as flashy and noteworthy as Scranton.

I graduated with a degree in journalism, so of course I work in logistics. However, I still get to use my training, skills, and voice for fun as an internationally renowned and beloved roller derby announcer/broadcaster. I have literally tens of fans around the world. I do enjoy roller skating too, but cannot figure out how to stop. I just slam into the wall like that kid from Mighty Ducks 2.

I am always sarcastic, too witty, and possibly offensive. I can be a bro on the outside but have a sweet geeky center, and shamelessly use horribly cheesy, yet hilarious puns. Was the class clown growing up and still am a big kid at heart. I constantly think of SNL skits but forget to write them down. And everything I know about dating and romance I learned from my mentors, Cory Matthews and Sean Hunter.

I don't have many deal breakers, but if you are a Pittsburgh Steeler fan do not contact me. I have no problem with fans of any other team and any other sport, but being a die-hard Browns fan will prevent me from ever loving or respecting you as a person. Yinz get me?

I rarely send a first message on here. Not out of fear but because I've become very skeptical about meeting someone online. However, if I've caught your attention feel free to shoot me a message after the beep. BEEP!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Did my mom put this question on here?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Doing impressions, especially of the Muppets. I know way too much useless information that I bring up randomly. Sending awkward first emails on here that usually get me ignored. Their loss though, I'm delightful. I can also predict every Daily Double in Jeopardy. Worst mutant ability ever.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My glasses. They make me look like a genius or something. Also handy for a dramatic removal now and then.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Movies: Avengers (and most other superhero movies), Fight Club, Major League, Star Wars, Anchorman, Ghostbusters

Music: Oasis, Foreigner, and anything 80's.

TV Shows: Big Bang Theory, The Office (with Steve Carrell), Mike & Molly, Parks & Rec, Arrested Development, 30 Rock, Dr. Who, Game of Thrones.

Books: A Song of Fire and Ice (Game of Thrones)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In no particular order...
1. Burritos
2. iPad
3. Roller derby
4. My cat (Bagels)
5. Flip flops
6. Cleveland Indians

If I had a TARDIS, that would be on this list too.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The most important questions of the universe, but I have ADD so I get distracted easi... Squirrel!... Hot dog!... Tree!... Bicycle!... Moon.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Ask the NSA.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm actually filling this question out.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have the guts to send the first message. after all, this question is asking you if you have the guts to, so if you do, do it. And if this at least made you giggle, I'm flattered.

Also, if you speak High Valerian, I want to meet you and help you reconquer Westeros.