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28 Salt Lake City, UT Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 25-35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Jan 1
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
Used up
Agnosticism but it’s not important
Working on University
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs
English (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat), Sign Language (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hey Salt Lake's party people, I just moved from Portland OR back to the land of Zion. H-H-um-Hooray!

Like most individuals, I feel that most things written in the summary section of a dating page will either be banal, essentialized, or boring. That said, I am real great. Many types of people seem to like me. I enjoy talking about stuffs and arguing about things, preferably with people who have smarts and passions. I will play devil's advocate, but I'm not a contrarian. Debate with me about social justice or women's issues! Tell me about your travels or your dreams! Make inappropriate jokes about my mom! I've been to many countries, I love adventures in the great wide open. I will go camping or hiking or swimming or rafting or scuba diving with you. I quite enjoy hanging out in my onesie and snuggling with my dog while I read or watch shitty TV. I love people who are sarcastic and wry but not afraid to look like a douche or randomly break into song. I FEEL LIKE I AM BRAVE. Sometimes I talk during cult movies or Star Trek re-runs. I am not embarrassed or ashamed of many things. I love board games. Humor and intelligence are a huge part of who I am and I enjoy entertaining for its intrinsic value but I can be serious and introspective.

If you want to get to know me, I would rather we have a real life conversation and spend some time together in the meat-space. I am pretty pragmatic about how likely it is that interwebs dating will provide any basis for a relationship. I feel like individual complexities can't be distilled for the computer screen, so if you have a question or desire to further your knowledge of my person, please leave a message and lets meet.

Caveat; I will probably want our second date to be paper bagging 40's of Old E, walking around, looking at the stars, and trying to shittily freestyle rap for each other.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Searching for other sapiosexuals.

NOW I am: abetting Salt Lake foodies/alcoholics managing a restaurant downtown. Taking a ton of hikes with my dog, reading books and getting my double degree on. I am majoring in Political Science and Philosophy right now but have changed majors thrice, so more than likely I can have an educated discussion with you about something.

I am also interested in becoming involved in; thrash dancing, 4x4 relay target shooting, catching mermaids, skeeting, climbing chimneys, collecting welfare, being invisible, travelling via zepplin, bedazzling things, cat napping, Balderdash, frolicking, and speaking in tongues.

When I grow up I want to; write a choose your own adventure romance novel, go back to school to get the MA/PHD I need to shape young citizen's mindmass', possibly get plastic surgery and fulfill my dreams of becoming a trophy wife.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Jokes, DIY projects, causin' a ruckus, listening to you, linking up words and clauses and phrases, falling down, doing the sex robot, crossword puzzles, evoking separatist movements, finding secret waterfalls, shenanigans, naming bands that I will never be in because my musical talents are mostly limited to 'exotic percussion'.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Tits y'all. I know its sad and stupid and all your new cam whore okc girlfriends say it too. Hey though, this is what other people notice, were not talking about YOU. Other people's lizard brains suck a bunch, and they can't help that. After a while those people might notice my weird faces or good mouth words, also my height. They should notice the amazing folk I surround myself with, because that is important.

If I'm naked its usually the Pterodactyl tattoo on my back, or also probably boobs then too.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I read a ton. Favorite books are ones that keep my mind engaged and make me ponder.
Books I just read: The Last Town on Earth, Perdido Street, Jitterbug Perfume, Childwold, The Walking Drum, Pillars of the Earth, Bukowski's Women, Dostoyevsky's The House of the Dead.

Favorite movies: Monty Python Quest for the Holy Grail, Fight Club, Labrynth, History of the World Part I, Beetlejuice, Love Me if You Dare, Waynes World, 5th Element, Office Space, Last Samuraii, Tommy Boy, Princess Bride, Boondock Saints, Little Rascals, Amelie, Braveheart, Beverly Hills Ninja, American Psycho, Snatch, Wet Hot American Summer, Animal House, Sandlot, Lionheart, Kung Fu Hustle, Mary Poppins, Garden State, Robinhood Men In Tights, Hackers, The Eye, Ju-on, Jumanji, The Pianist, Starship Troopers, Seven Samuraii, Scarface, Nightmare Before Christmas, Pulp Fiction, Shindler's List, Dr. Stranglove, Equilibrium, Star Wars (old ones), Shes All That, Sin City, Top Gun, Alice in Wonderland, Breakfast at Tiffanys, Benny and Joon, The Brave Little Toaster, Fritz the Cat

Shows: Ted Talks, House of Cards, Game of Thrones, Shameless, Dr. Who, RuPaul's Drag Race, things that make me laugh

Music: Bad music and good. I'm talking 80's pop, shock rock, motown, folk, 60's country, bluegrass. ALL!

Favorite food: Whatever my mouth wants and my wallet can provide. I am a huge foodie and I love to try all that the world has to offer. I will nosh anything no matter how crazy, especially spicy ethnic.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Co-conspirators, hot sauce, a passport, my dog, a sense of self, knowledge in cahoots with justice.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What to google, why kids say the darndest things, things I would say on This American Life.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Existing as an autonomous human being in diverse and distinct situations. Probably there is whiskey around.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I think Jeff Bridges was a smokin' stud in the original TRON

This is what I REALLY want for christmas:
-Diplomatic Immunity
-A new Black Market Liver
-A Phonograph
-A Hedgehog, preferably Sonic the
-Sex with Jesus
-A Monster Truck
-Tree Frog Ooze
-All my favorite Cartoon shows resurected
-An Island

I'm an ENTP but I used to be an ENFJ.

Also I never learned to ride a bike. I grew up on a mountain and learned to ski at age 3 but bikes were not really a thing. It is embarrassing and impractical, and I have no rational reason not to learn right now, but I have a lot of irrational fear. Hold my handle bars and teach me?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you like crosswords, drink alcohol, love fun, need cooler friends, have thoughts in your head, need a dog walk buddy etc.

Aaaand I want you to be six foot or >, I know that makes me a bad person.