I don't have casual sex, one night stands, or fwb scenarios with anyone I do not know for less then four years.
Can you tell I'm tired of the trolls? I don't care how genuinely awesome you are - all of my sex-first based relationships have failed me miserably. I'm far too complex an individual, with too many layers. I'm too old and world-wise for the petty high school games. Sex doesn't equal love. Sex is the iciing on the cake, in my personal opinion. It's the sugar that makes the coffee sweet. The gold at the end of the rainbow, so to speak. *shrugs*
I'm interested in making new friends mostly. I've lost touch with a lot of my old friends from moving, them moving, or being mutual friends with various ex's of mine. I need head space, not to become a head-case, when it comes to ex's. Yeah, I don't want to be "that kind of ex". Ya know the whacko
The relationship with my kids' dad left me in an emotional limbo. Don't expect me to be won over. This is not a challenge scenario, this is me being up front and honest.
Could I seriously date someone if I wanted to, sure.
Am I interested in it at this time. Not really. Dates that are "no-expectations" work best at this time.
Could it happen, perhaps. Attraction is what it is, and does what it does - the heart has funny ways about it, ya know?
Push it in the initial stages and I don't care how truly awesome you really are, I will ban/block you.
Now that I've gotten that clear, feel free to read on. It's long, so if you message me with a tl;dr attitude our conversation will be short at best. :?
Honesty and openness is best no matter what in which type of relationship one finds oneself involved. This is something of a mantra I carry around with me all the time. I don't care for the "white lies to make someone feel good" thing. If my hair looks bad, for the love of pete tell me so I can fix it! If you smell bad, I will tell you, so you can fix it. ;)
However, this means I can hurt feelings when I don't mean to, even with a side joke or witty remark. If you don't have "thick skin" or are not at peace with yourself, this may mean bad feelings for us both. Just to be warned, I honestly do not mean to be "mean".
I also have an odd sense of dark humor. I laugh at things that may not be appropriate Again I know this isn't exactly kosher, so I try to limit it. Heh. ^.^
My sense of humor is a bit twisted and weird as well. Part of that comes from being a gamer. ;)
I went to art school and have a BS in Computer Animation. I want to go back for a teaching degree and/or finish my studies in Environmental Science. Yes... Yes Olivia, I am a nerd. An artist nerd.
I languish for time to do art, and with kids around me so often doing animation is tough due to parental responsibilities overshadowing everything. If I could find other art buddies (especially ones with kids around my kids' ages), I'd be in heaven! XD Note, art for me is NOT a hobby - it is who I am, what I love, my greatest passion. Art, theater, crafts, music, even amazingly cool-looking architecture (like what came about during the Bauhaus movement in Germany).
Oh and I'm a German-phile. And a StG nut with a dash of Klingon. Fantasy. I like to write - but really have horrible grammar. No really. I write like I talk. ;) The list goes on.
I am a mom, think mama bear or mama wolf. There is no getting between me and my kids. My current relationships with their dad is currently strained, and I am currently estranged. Not of my choice, but out of sanity's sake for both of us.
To be perfectly clear: I'm not looking for one night stands NOR long-term anything (except friends). Too much baggage. Just finding nice guys (or gals) to chill with so that I don't feel so all alone is about all I can handle at this stage. I need to get my head clear, and my heart free - I'm wise enough in that to know I'd only ruin things with someone else until I fix my own issues.
That first step is just getting outside the house again. :)
What am I looking for? Nothing much really. Maybe some general company that is outside of my current circle of friends: new faces and new friends. I'm a gregarious sort of person, I love people.
I don't trust easily, but for those who have earned it, they have also earned a loyal friend for life. I have various "circles" of friends, and some of them are closer to me then my own family.
I have a passion for life and all things in it, for good or for bad.
I'm a gamer -as noted above. I play various rpg games from tabletop to LARP. I use to run a WWtA LARP as the HST. I used to be a Camirilla Club member running the Forsaken venue. If you know what that is, awesome, if not, go find out. I've played DnD, but still am not familiar with the system. GURPS RPG, The Gnoll ate my Baby, SLA Industries, Ring World, and the new WTF by White Wolf Game Studios are also games I've played.
However, gaming is a hobby first. Due to that mentality, I haven't been to a LARP or gamed in more then a year. Too much more important stuff on my plate ya know? ;)
I'm also a member of the SCA, and love the heraldic arts and design (hoping to become a herald, sad that they aren't warranted anymore). I brew down in Media from time to time and have my own kit. I've produced one batch (to date) of fine mead, and am looking to make more. My persona is Viking. ;)
I <3 dragons and wolves. I <3 Werewolves of all kinds, but prefer the feral "more wolf like" rather then the monstrous "ugly" type. I'm an an avid fan of everything werewolf related, from modern mythos to old accounts of rabid werewolf attacks in old Europe. Werewolf movies are a favorite, obviously. I am also an avid fan of all things dragon-related, and wolf-related.
I love the outdoors, but due to my increasing asthmatic condition I'm not in the shape I need to do even light hiking (although my heart is in it!) I do need to get out of the house more, though. :)
I am an eclectic spiritualist. I was raised Christian, but have adopted various others bits and pieces into my own spirituality. I tend towards more pagany-Wiccan like belief systems in general with a dash of Totemic influences. I am balanced between logic/science and faith in most aspects. I believe there is something bigger out there then me, and I am merely a mortal. So to "define" it within the context of any /religion/ is foolish in my opinion. I believe in what I believe, you believe as you do, and ya know what? They might be the same thing wrapped up in a different container. So who am I to judge? Still looking to learn more from proper teachers though. ;)
I am tolerant to a certain degree, expect for stupid people. If you make my brain bleed from the level of moronic and self-destructive ways.., yeah don't bother me. Thanks.
Also, for the weight-conscious, I am a bit on the overweight side. 5'9" and was at 225lbs. Mostly all baby-weight gain after having my daughter about a year ago.
I -will- eventually shed it back to 140 or 150lbs. *shakes a fist in determination*
From My Facebook Profile:
You want to know about me? Riiight.
I like Lots..
I am loyal, honest, and creative.