I'm both really awesome and really terrible. I used to think that one cancelled out the other, but recently I've been realizing that that's not true. At least not for me.
I have been struggling with depression for the past couple of years, and isolating myself. And I'm actually pretty much always happy to be alone..I spend time in my studio, writing, making things with paper and glue and glitter, doing yoga, reading poetry, smoking, listening to music. I love all these things and I feel happy every single day that I have so much free time to do them.
What I'm missing in my life is deep emotional connections with people. I said in therapy the other day that he, my therapist, is the only emotional support I feel right now. I found this interesting because six years ago, when I was happy, and going through the breakup of a long relationship, I wrote in my journal: Who do I have to support me through this? And I answered with a long list of names. On the one hand, it makes me sad that I don't feel that support right now (even though I probably could reach out to anyone of those people and feel at least some support and kindness.) On the other hand, it reminds me that it is something I am capable of.
While I'm getting as much emotional support as I can from my therapist, at the same time, I'm super excited to meet new people! Part of my depression is coming from the fact that I'm a city girl living in suburbia. I didn't know this until I had a baby and bought a house out here. (It is a really unique place I live, btw, and if you're interested, please ask me about it.)
I am in an open marriage with HopeDreamsLove. Sort of. Let's talk about it.
If you prefer someone who always wears clean clothes and values looks over comfort, you probably won't like me that much.
I tend to be more attracted to someone younger, um...much younger. And someone my own age who can hold my attention is very appealing, too.