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30 Venice, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
5' 10" (1.78m)
Body Type
Doesn’t have kids
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
This essay is brought to you by the letter "I". So let's get this party started. I like to stay up late and try to wake up early. I like my coffee like I like my women... dark and bitter. I was born in the South and raised on the coast that doesn't care much about gluten (yay pizza). I'm probably one of the nerdiest people you'll meet (and just stoked about derailing yet poignant parenthetical subtext). I don't mean that in the way 90% of people on this site do, because nerd is the new "cool". (Thanks Apple products, we all know it's one the six things you can't do without) I write a lot of run-on sentences. I'm on a dating site because I don't have the time nor the desire to waste my time and desire (even though online dating has ruined everything).. On occasion, I am hilarious. (You've probably stopped reading by now.) I'm skeptical, yet open to possibility. I read books. I watch and analyze film, television and comedy. Love beer (though I don't drink it much because it goes to my ass) and dirty martinis. I make friends easily and have many I call close. There's a late fee if I'm not returned on time. I am also over this section... onward!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Semi-working actor with a slew of day jobs to afford living next to paradise. If you have a problem with this, I don't care. If you don't have a problem with this, I don't care. Welcome to L.A.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Everything.. just kidding, mostly just tripping over stuff. Self-Sabotage. Interpreting. Informing you that you (likely) are not (even remotely) "good" at sarcasm. (It isn't even a skill, please take it off your profile immediately, along with your sunglasses.) Pretending I'm listening. Calling it like I see it. Making embarrassing music playlists on Spotify. Misinterpreting. Speaking out of turn. Cooking red sauce and meat balls. Running. Muahahahahaha-ing. Falling asleep on the beach and getting sun burnt and spending the next 48 hours lathering myself in aloe. Pretending I was a dragon in a past life (I'm good at roleplaying). Semi-auto-erotic asphyxiation. Traveling rings at OMB. (Don't worry if you don't know what that means, it's a deep reference and has no bearing on whether or not I'll spork you. If you do get it... well then break out the chalk.) Being little and/or big spoon. Defying gravity. Defying in general. Quoting Shakespeare. Giving a fuck.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I easily befriend cats and glow in the dark after eating waffles. My butt-crack is also usually visible from every angle, it's cubist.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I love Poe, Shakespeare, Tolkien, and Martin. Mostly fiction. (Life is real enough.) I also enjoy a good read of the Necronomicon Ex Mortis, aka The Book of Shadows, aka the Grand Grimoire. Shows are many and various, I'm in the biz so I watch a lot, I like to call it "research," or even better "homework". Mostly HBO, Showtime, AMC, FX and web. Music is all over depending on my really real world status, I'm told I'm eclectic but I always thought that sounded a little.. well whatever. Food.. Let's just say I'm a pro with chopsticks and that I'm a big fan of stuffing my face with the cooked (sometimes raw) flesh of something that once had a mother.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Acting. Friends and Family. My garrison of pirate ninja jedi zombie robot presidents (they were elected). The Internet and food. I could most certainly never do without FOOD. Major points if you enjoy cooking (because I do as well). If you don't know how to cook anything, well let's hope you're good at sandwiches.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:

-"If", Rudyard Kipling
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am quite content to do anything from karaoke (which I am bad at), reading, to streaming a good show on a Friday night. If you wanna get weird maybe even catch an improv show. If you have to go to bars three to four nights a week to have a good time, or just as a habit, I am probably not the man for you. In fact, you should probably go to a meeting. Just kidding, those are for quitters.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I feel up my own ass.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You probably won't message me, in fact, you probably shouldn't. I'm prone to sudden bouts of realness and lack of game playing on a level you likely aren't used to. I will however, do you the immense favor of being honest with you. I'm looking for a woman with the following (and I'm patient): A sense of humor. Someone who isn't cuckoo for coco puffs or a frosted flake and eating their Wheaties. You live on or close to West LA. You like morning "exercise". Speaking of mornings, you should also have a pretty good idea of what your personality will be like during them and throughout the rest of the day. You are capable of making up your mind. You actively try and occasionally succeed to be a better person. Bonus points for geekyness and culinary expertise. Sound like a tall order? It isn't. If you have trouble meeting these criteria, maybe try harder. Ok, rant over and you're still reading, that's good. I promise I'm a nice person. Just say hi already, but don't actually say just "hi". That's... you know. (Silly goose.)