Holy crap guys, we're not never going to space ever again. Chill out.

There's like 6 dudes up on the ISS right now. What? Are they just gonna grow old and die there? No way!

There's this Russian job-a-ma-doo called the Soyuz. It's old freakin technology. Thing is, the Russians decided that they're not gonna fuck around with something that's working really great for them and isn't costing a lot of money. Instead of being like "naw, brah screw Saturn rockets" and going to a whole new program that honestly wasn't all that great, the Russians have been putting man and material into space at a very steady rate for over 40 years.

And, by the way, rockets and capsules are what NASA is going back to. So much for that grand shuttle experiment.

I'm not hating on shuttles by any means. They're pretty great. They're able to take large amounts of material in to space and are able to sustain large crews for quite a long time. But they're also a horrible financial drain. It's tough to weigh federal spending on a loss like the shuttle against the 10 THOUSAND layoffs NASA had last week due to its retirement.

So chill. There's gonna be launches enough to go around. In fact, on August 5th they're launching a probe to slam into Jupiter. Is that not badass?

I'm fat.

It sucks.

Seriously - this isn't some girly fishing for complements thing. "Maybe if I put myself down, he'll complement me to cheer me up!" BLECH. I'm fat. Clinically, I'm obese. I'm 5'5" and 180 pounds. When I shop, I can wear anything from a 10 to a 20 because clothes manufacturers are dumb but my classical size is 22.

I also have a metabolic disorder.

It sucks doubly because when one hormone is all screwed up, they ALL get screwed up. Unlike some people who say "oh, it's a glandular disorder", it IS a glandular disorder.... I have hypoadrenalism. Yes, HYPO. If you know anything about this disorder, you're probably scratching your head and going, "wait, how is she fat?" Well, unlike some people who say "oh, it's a glandular disorder", I also own up to the fact that it's a PUT THE FUCKING FORK DOWN disorder.

Can you imagine how fat I would be if I DIDN'T have Addison's?

Can you imagine how fat I'm gonna get once I start treatment?

So I joined a gym. It's... okay... They have iPod docks on the treadmills and stuff so I can listen to good music. Good music makes the world go 'round. I went for a workout today. I walked a 30 minute mile.5 and feel pretty exhausted over it - cuz i you know anything about that disorder, you're probably nodding your head and saying "good on you for getting out and about today".

I dunno how much calories I burned. I don't know what my heart rate was. All I know is that I'm trying to get back to what I once was. This disease has robbed me of virtually everything. I have such extreme fatigue that I can't ride my bike further than a few blocks without feeling like I'm gonna puke. 30 mile Bike The Drive? No thanks! It's progressed to the point where my blood pressure is so low I can't blow dry my own hair without feeling like I'm going to faint and my muscles have gone soft for the first time ever in my life. Seriously, I had more energy when I had mono in 4th grade!

So, anyway, I'm fat. Fatter than those photos from late 2009 suggest. When you see me you're gonna be like "Damn, bitch IS curvy!" but thankfully the curves go IN where they're supposed to and I'm working on it.

And in life, isn't that all we're doing? Working on it?

okcupid says I can get more matches and responses if I write a journal.

Recently, I was kicked off eHarmony because one of my responses was critical to the site. Probably for the best because "soulmates that match on 30 levels of deep connection" (or whatever) don't usually stay together long when one is out being a rock star like me.

(seriously, the fact that I fly planes was seen as a "minus" over there!)

So I was gonna originally write about something on okc that bugs me - hoping that some other kind soul would be bugged by that too and maybe there would be a looooove connection. Does the site care? Does the site like to kick off people that have a beef? Don't get me wrong... This is pretty neat, but something rubs me the wrong way.

Has anyone else seen the "helper" when you send a message? It tells you "edit your profile so [user] is more likely to respond".

Doesn't that sound needy? Edit who you are so whoever will like you more? What kind of fakers are running around on this site because of that "help"?

I am who I am. I hope dudes will look at that and dig it - not want to hang out with me because I edited my profile.