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twobigcats

60 Daly City, CA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 45–62
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:54am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from Ph.D program
Job
Other
Income
$40,000–$50,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Both of my parents were professional musicians, which meant they had high digital dexterity. They could make different fingers do different things at more or less the same time. Not me. Wanting to be some kind of writer, I took typing in high school, and was a full day behind on the second day of class. I gave up after a week. I still type with two fingers, and not to well. My head runs ahead of my hands, the fingers skip words I thought I'd sent them, and EVERY time I try to type 'because' it comes out 'becuase.'

My cats think I'm creative, funny, kind, caring, knowledgeable, outspoken, reserved, supportive, generous with my time and effort, loyal, unusually honest and direct. They understand I have strong emotions, but I don't wear them on my sleeve. But then, they also mistake my stockinged foot for a mouse.

I'm at peace with my own life, but I can't say I'm truly happy, as my quotidian existence is too solitary there days, cats notwithstanding. I moved back to the Bay Area from back East not that long ago (5/13), and I don't have much of a 'social network' here — real or virtual. I'd like to meet new friends, but I also fancy I have a lot of 'good' in my heart, and nothing would make me happier than finding a 'special someone' to share it with.

I'm 'retired', so I have the time and energy now to look for new things in my life, and to devote to building a relationship. When I was working, keeping my head above water in a demanding career was enough of a challenge that I couldn't really put myself 'out there' for the search for the arguably more important if less immediate things.

The most important things to me in a relationship are good conversation, and making each other laugh: a chemistry of the mind and spirit, if you will. My outlook on activities is that they're less about mutual interests than just enjoying one another's company whatever you're doing. When I was in a relationship that was going well (sometime in the previous century) I used to look forward to going grocery shopping with my partner, because being with her made it interesting and fun. I'm willing to try new things, activity-wise, if that leads to 'quality time.'

MY THEORIES OF OKCUPID AND 'LOVE'
I've had my profile up here about a year-and-a-half, met about 2 dozen folks, and not really come close to a 'mutual match'. I very very rarely send out messages these days, and I only get msgs. once in a blue moon. I do usually reply to folks in my geographic vicinity who seem sincere unless I find some "hm, I really don't see how this could work" stuff in the profile (which, btw, is a bit more likely to be a conclusion I won't meet your expectations rather than vice versa.)

Ah. Expectations. At this milepost on the Highway of Life I'm not expecting bells and rockets when I meet someone, nor am I expecting to ring chimes or ignite lift-off in anyone else. I've met a couple women I might have immediately gone gaga over if we were both, say, 30, but nothing remotely resembling even a single 'ga' has manifested in my more, ahh, mature sensibility. I find my enthusiasm fueled mainly by having what I consider an engaging conversation, and secondarily by the impression that I've met a good person I can respect and even admire.

I don't expect any kind of affection to develop quickly. I'm more of an 'open book' than most people, but I'm also enough of an 'odd duck' that it tends to take awhile for people to 'figure me out.' I'm also on the socially awkward and self-conscious side when meeting new people, which tends to manifest itself in me talking too much, which tends to create a not-very-accurate impression of my actual character.

Since I imagine that if anything is going to develop between me and anyone else, it's going to take awhile, my attitude toward meeting folks from OKC is: as long as nothing negative happens in a meeting, I'm willing to meet again to see what if anything might happen down the road. I think some of the folks I've met have found it odd that I've inquired about meeting again in the absence of observable romantic 'chemistry' or some other form of high enthusiasm on my part. Maybe it is odd in the general scheme of things, but I don't know what else to do. I know it's going to take me time to figure out if I 'connect' to you on more than a superficial level, and I expect it will time for anyone to get to know me well enough to figure out if they 'connect' with me.

Ah. Connection. I seem to be in the minority of Y-chromosome equipped homo sapiens in that 'hotness' has never been a big thing for me. In my younger days, when I 'fell' for someone, I always lead with my heart, then my big head — and the little head had little or nothing to do with it. Not being all that Eros-driven, one of the reasons I'll decline to msg. folks the robot recommends (when I do take a look), is if they have high expectations of 'hotness' (either in looks or... behavior).

And as I've aged I've re-evaluated the whole Ideal of Romantic Love. I like emotional stability, prefer peace to turmoil, and have both felt and witnessed enough storm damage from the winds of Big Romance. I should say, if Big Romance happens, it's not something I'd shy away from in fear, it's just not a primary goal for me. I guess what I'd like more than anything is the kind of relationship that keeps couples happily married after 20 years: long after initial passions yield to aging. When you know how each looks when they get up in the morning, when the trivia of your everyday lives are overly familiar, when you still care very deeply despite the toilet seat not always being lifted, or your mate playing that CD that makes your ears hurt. Working, lasting 'partnership' I guess.

Finally, back to the whole 'unless I find something overtly negative I'll hand in there until you call it quits' approach. Here's my Most Private Thing I'm Willing To Admit on OKC: Every meaningful relationship I've had has started with a woman being interested enough in me to ask me out and be fairly persistent, as it usually took me some time to come around to the idea. The thing is, I almost always did.

I know people who believe only rapid love is True Love, and consider the proposition 'you can learn to love someone' is merely a rationalization for 'settling.' Perhaps for them; not for me. Thus (granting that there may be a certain illogic in this) a big part of my 'I'll keep meeting until it doesn't work for you' approach is that I want to give someone the opportunity to figure out that they like ME, even if my enthusiasm seems less-than-total. Since, if that should happen, I fully expect I would respond in kind.

EVEN MORE ABOUT ME! :-)
With friends and partners, I'm mellow, easy to get along with, steadfast and faithful, supportive. I'm not Mr. Excitement by the prevailing standards, but if you like a certain kind of mental energy and a sharp sense of humor I can be pretty interesting.

I believe in equality in relationships. Traditional gender roles, especially in terms of matters of authority, are not for me.

I know this is a REALLY LONG OKC profile. My thought (fwiw) is the mo' info the better, but I'm definitely not a Twitter guy. I don't write short things. But I'm not so verbose in person. I'm also a much better listener than I may appear at first.

ABOUT THE PICTURES
I've never had any kind of beard prior to moving back here. I let it grow out for the hell of it as was packing for my move and driving cross-country. I took the pics with it because a friend said "It's a good look for you." I'm ambivalent. It's not part of my identity or anything, and I'd happily go clean-shaven if it mattered to anyone.

The pic with the motorcycle is a prop for humor, not a mark of a 'biker' identity. I have the cycle not out of apassion for that mode of transportation, but because it lets me get around traffic going into the city or over the Bridge, and avoid hassles with parking. Around home or down the peninsula, I mainly travel by (small) car.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I don't really know. Got any ideas? My plan, such as it is, is to find some kind of creative media projects to work on, most likely pro bono. I moved back here mainly because I imagine there will be more opportunity for that kind of thing in this area than where I was. I also have ambitions to write a couple textbooks in my field, as I don't like the ones out there now all that much and think there's a need for a different approach. But that's a solitary long-haul project, and the long-haul solitude prospect is a hurdle I've yet to leap.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Problem solving, unless we're talking about my own problems, in which case i pretty much suck.

I'm 'handy': can do a lot of DIY stuff.

I'm pretty good at trivia games and Jeopardy style quizzes.

I'm really good at constructive criticism. No. Seriously. It's what I did for a living, and I was awesome at it. You can ask my former students: the ones who still speak to me anyway...

And, oh yeah, self-deprecating humor.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My voice tends to carry. I talk too much when I meet new people 1 on 1... When I meet new people in a group setting I'm quiet and shy.
Once I feel comfortable talking to someone, the first thing people probably discover about me is that I make a lot of jokes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
MOVIES
I was a film professor, so I like all kinds of esoteric movies:
anything by Werner Herzog, Chris Marker, documentaries, experimental films, the Coen Brothers (they're from my hometown)... I'm mainly interested in 'serious' fims, but like to go to cheesy action movies for fun: stuff like Crank and Drive Angry...

TV
I hardly watch any TV these days. I have MSNBC on as background noise in the evenings sometimes, only half paying attention. I'll watch football or basketball when a team from Minnesota plays... Rah rah rah for Ski-U-Mah!

BOOKS
Going into academia kind of killed reading for pleasure for me. Well, 'killed' is too strong, maybe put it on life support. My favorite novelist is Philip K. Dick though I'm still fond of Kurt Vonnegut.

MUSIC
Another thing I do less of than I used to. But my tastes definitely run mainly to rock and roll, garage and punk: the Who, PJ Harvey, Gang of Four, RATM. Also Big Star / Alex Chilton, Laurie Anderson, jump blues, rockabilly, surf instrumentals (from Dick Dale to Man or Astroman), and Sinatra. I like some jazz, mainly in small to moderate doses. I love Bach, like the Kronos Quartet, and other classical's OK by me. Every non-rowdy bar or restaurant open past 9PM should be required by law to have an old fashioned jukebox, which the proprietors may stock as they please, as long as one of the discs is "I Can't Get Started' by Bunny Berrigan.'

FOOD
I am so boring gastronomically. I like stuff plain, sans sauces (a category in which I include Ketchup and mustard as well as the fancy Frenchy stuff). I'm not much for ethnic cuisines unless you count American-Italian — which i bet you don't :-). But one of the joys of being in the Bay Area is being able to get a burrito at Pancho Villa in the Mission. 'Formal dining' and/or 'nice' restaurants with elegant menus, mannered wait staff and expensive entrees tend to creep me out a bit.

I don't eat vegetables. Well, as a Midwesterner, I do like corn on the cob, but I've been informed that doesn't count. I have a whole comedy routine worked up about it:
**begin joke**
I am the founder, and AFAIK the only member, of PERP: People For Ethical Relationships to Plants. At PERP we believe green leafy plants are a higher, nobler, and more moral form of life than animals, so it is wrong to kill them and eat them. Plants do not kill other living things, they ask only for sunshine and rain. Like humans, all animals are drenched in the Sin of destroying Life in order to survive. The exceptions for destruction of plant life in PERP are grains and starches, because they're just so damn dumb. Therefore: ham and cheese on rye = thumbs up! And peanuts, of course. (Note: it's OK per PERP, and even recommended, to eat the surplus things our leafy friends so generously leave for us: apples, oranges, tomatoes... I'll take an OJ with that slice of Italian Sausage pizza please!
**end joke**
But I do have to say I have no idea how anyone eats Pepperoni: urghh!

OTHER STUFF
In addition to films, my cultural interests include modern/contemporary art and museums thereof. My two favorite museum displays are the Duchamp room in Philly and the Cornell installation at the Art Institute of Chicago. I also like 'outsider'/'visionary' art (Darger, Finster, etc. — AVAM in Baltimore is awesome), Hopper, photorealism, pop, Dada, and John Heartfield.

While I'm more of a culture person, and I tend not to seek the great outdoors on my own, I do enjoy a bit of nature now and then. I love Muir Woods, the Marin Headlands (so eerie), the Pacific shore... Along similar lines, I don't have a strong passion for travel, though I almost always enjoy myself and find something interesting in new places when I wind up going somewhere for reasons other than just to go there. Never was much for hiking, used to bicycle a lot, bad knee on side and bad foot on the other limit my present potential for either.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Irony
Pizza
My memory
I forget the rest.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
why I think about too many things, and whether I should really be thinking about other things other than what I'm thinking about, and why I forgot what I was thinking about five minutes ago.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
wistful.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Polly, my giant sweet sedate elder kitteh, has really long hair, and sometimes just isn't up to cleaning herself all the way on her back end, resulting in the presence of stray dingleberries under her tail, and I let her cuddle with me anyway. She's too big and heavy to sit in my lap w/o my legs hurting, so I lie down on my side on the couch, make a crook with the knee of my lower leg, and she curls up in there, purrs and goes to sleep, usually using my thigh as a pillow. Cat naps with cats are often the most pleasant and peaceful moments of my day, so I'm not too... picky about the conditions. :-)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've actually read this whole page, and managed to recover from the fatigue w/o closing the tab in your web browser. :-)

You think we might be able to have an interesting conversation and make each other laugh.

You'd be willing to go out with or be friends with Michael Moore: if he wasn't heavy, so into himself, driven, rich and famous, married, etc. (I.e., you think you might like a funny left-wing documentary filmmaker from the upper Midwest.)