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twobigcats

60 M Daly City, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 10:45am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from Ph.D program
Job
Other
Income
$40,000–$50,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I don't like writing about myself, and I especially dislike writing anything self-promoting. This is not something "I'm really good at." So how to describe myself? Creative, funny, kind, caring, knowledgeable, outspoken, reserved, supportive, generous with my time and effort, loyal, unusually honest and direct. I have strong emotions, but I don't wear them on my sleeve. (Urghh, that was painful...)

I get pretty bummed by the state of the world: the awful things people do to one another and to the planet. (I'll spare you the gory list of particulars..) I'm at peace with my own life, but I can't be truly happy without meaningful connections with other people — and that's something I don't have right now. I'd like that to change (obviously)... I think I have a lot of 'good' in my heart, and nothing would make me happier than finding a 'special someone' to share it with. That said, I moved back to the Bay Area from back East not that long ago (5/13), and I don't have much of a 'social network' here — real or virtual — so I'd also welcome new friends.

I'm 'retired', so I have the time and energy now to look for new things in my life, and to devote to building a relationship. When I was working, keeping my head above water in a demanding career was enough of a challenge that I couldn't really put myself 'out there' for the search for the arguably more important if less immediate things. No more.

The most important things to me in a relationship are good conversation, and making each other laugh: a chemistry of the mind and spirit, if you will. My outlook on activities is that they're less about mutual interests than just enjoying one another's company whatever you're doing. When I was in a relationship that was going well (sometime in the previous century) I used to look forward to going grocery shopping with my partner, because being with her made it interesting and fun. I'm willing to try new things, activity-wise, if that leads to 'quality time.'

MY THEORIES OF OKCUPID AND 'LOVE'
I've had my profile up here about a year-and-a-half, met about 2 dozen folks, and not really come close to a 'mutual match'. The preponderance of 'not-clicking' has led me to be very passive here. I very very rarely send out messages these days, and I only get msgs. once in a blue moon. I do usually reply to folks in my geographic vicinity who seem sincere unless I find some "hm, I really don't see how this could work" stuff in the profile (which, btw, is a bit more likely to be a conclusion I won't meet your expectations rather than vice versa.)

Ah. Expectations. At this milepost on the Highway of Life I'm not expecting bells and rockets when I meet someone, nor am I expecting to ring chimes or ignite lift-off in anyone else. I've met a couple women I might have immediately gone gaga over if we were both, say, 30, but nothing remotely resembling even a single 'ga' manifested in moi. I find my enthusiasm fueled mainly by having what I consider an engaging conversation, and secondarily by the impression that I've met a good person I can respect and even admire.

I don't expect any kind of affection to develop quickly. I'm more of an 'open book' than most people, but I'm also enough of an 'odd duck' that it tends to take awhile for people to 'figure me out.' I'm also on the socially awkward and self-conscious side when meeting new people, which tends to manifest itself in me talking too much, which tends to create a not-very-accurate impression of my actual character.

Since I imagine that if anything is going to develop between me and anyone else, it's going to take awhile, my attitude toward meeting folks from OKC is: as long as nothing negative happens in a meeting, I'm willing to meet again to what if anything might happen down the road. I think some of the folks I've met have found it odd that I've inquired about meeting again in the absence of observable romantic 'chemistry' or some other form of high enthusiasm on my part. Maybe it is odd in the general scheme of things, but I don't know what else to do. I know it's going to take me time to figure out if I 'connect' to you on more than a superficial level, and I expect it will time for anyone to get to know me well enough to figure out if they 'connect' with me.

Ah. Connection. I seem to be in the minority of Y-chromosome equipped homo sapiens in that 'hotness' has never been a big thing for me. In my younger days, when I 'fell' for someone, I always lead with my heart, then my big head, and the little head had little or nothing to do with it. Not being all that Eros-driven, one of the reasons I'll decline to msg. folks the robot recommends (when I do take a look), is if they have high expectations of 'hotness' (especially with any interest in 'kink' - rape fantasies and the like - this not being any sort of moral judgement on my part, just something that's not in my nature).

And as I've aged I've re-evaluated the whole Ideal of Romantic Love thing. I like emotional stability, prefer peace to turmoil, and have both felt and witnessed enough storm damage from the winds of Big Romance. I should say, if Big Romance happens, it's not something I'd shy away from in fear, it's just not a primary goal for me. I guess what I'd like more than anything is the kind of relationship that keeps couples happily married after 20 years: long after initial passions yield to aging and seeing how each looks when they get up in the morning, after all the familiarity of sharing the trivia of everyday life, and finding a reason to still care very deeply despite the toilet seat not always being lifted, or your mate's affection for that CD that makes your ears hurt. Working, lasting 'partnership' I guess.

Finally, back to the whole 'unless I find something overtly negative I'll hand in there until you call it quits' approach. Here's my Most Private Thing I'm Willing To Admit on OKC: I'm zero-for-lifetime in initiating relationships. On those occasions in my youth when did go gaga over someone, they either weren't interested at all, or were somewhat interested but not-quite-ready-to-be-gagaed-over. So every meaningful relationship I've had has started with a woman being interested enough in me to ask me out and be fairly persistent, as it usually took me some time to come around to the idea. The thing is, I almost always did.

The happiest moments of my life occurred in that even-going-grocery-shopping-was-awesome relationship I mentioned above, which took a good bit of convincing and persistence for me to enter into. I know people who believe only rapid love is True Love, and consider the proposition 'you can learn to love someone' is merely a rationalization for 'settling.' Perhaps for them; not for me. Thus (granting that there may be a certain illogic in this) a big part of my 'I'll keep meeting until it doesn't work for you' approach is that I want to give someone the opportunity to figure out that they like ME, even if my enthusiasm seems less-than-total, as if that should happen, I fully expect I would respond in kind.

Practicality note: I've found that with other people's busy schedules and all, geographic distance tends to monkey-wrench the getting-to-know-each-other process, especially when crossing the Bay Bridge is involved. (Getting down the peninsula is easier for me, especially on the 280 side.) Not that I'm unwilling to do a little travelin', just noting that it's easier to 'check it out' if we're closer.

EVEN MORE ABOUT ME! :-)
With friends and partners, I'm mellow, easy to get along with, steadfast and faithful, supportive. I'm not Mr. Excitement by the prevailing standards, but if you like a certain kind of mental energy and a sharp sense of humor I can be pretty interesting.

I believe in equality in relationships. Traditional gender roles, especially in terms of matters of authority, are not for me.

I know this is a REALLY LONG OKC profile. My thought (fwiw) is the mo' info the better, but I'm definitely not a Twitter guy. I don't write short things. But I'm not so verbose in person. And I'm actually one of the least full-of-themselves folks I know :-). Yeah, there occasions where I talk too much out of social awkwardness, and I can get going on certain subjects of enthusiasm on the other hand as well. But I can be pretty quiet at times too. I'm also a much better listener than I may appear at first.

ABOUT THE PICTURES
I've never had any kind of beard prior to moving back here. I let it grow out for the hell of it as was packing for my move and driving cross-country. I took the pics with it because a friend said "It's a good look for you." I'm ambivalent. It's not part of my identity or anything, and I'd happily go clean-shaven if it mattered to anyone.

The pics with the motorcycle and scooter are meant to use props for humor. I'm not a 'biker' by any means. I mainly travel by (small) car. I have the cycle not out of any love for that mode of transportation, but because I dislike taking a car into the city and hassling with parking. The scooter doesn't run, and I'll be getting rid of it when I get around to it...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I don't really know. Got any ideas? My plan, such as it is, is to find some kind of creative media projects to work on, most likely pro bono. I moved back here mainly because I imagine there will be more opportunity for that kind of thing in this area than where I was. I also have ambitions to write a couple textbooks in my field, as I don't like the ones out there now all that much and think there's a need for a different approach. But that's a solitary long-haul project, and the long-haul solitude prospect is a hurdle I've yet to leap.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Problem solving, unless we're talking about my own problems, in which case i pretty much suck.

I'm 'handy': can do a lot of DIY stuff.

I'm pretty good at trivia games and Jeopardy style quizzes.

I'm really good at constructive criticism. No. Seriously. It's what I did for a living, and I was awesome at it. You can ask my former students: the ones who still speak to me anyway...

And, oh yeah, self-deprecating humor.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
... I don't know really. My voice tends to carry, but I'm usually pretty quiet in unfamiliar settings. I do tend to ramble on once I get going, though [see above :-) ]. I'd like to think the rambling contains its share of fairly intelligent discourse and witty banter. Perhaps the first thing people discover about me is that I make a lot of jokes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
MOVIES
I was a film professor, so I like all kinds of esoteric movies:
anything by Werner Herzog, Chris Marker, documentaries, experimental films, the Coen Brothers (they're from my hometown)... I'm mainly interested in 'serious' fims, but like to go to cheesy action movies for fun: stuff like Crank and Drive Angry...

TV
I hardly watch any TV these days. I used to have MSNBC on as background in the evenings, but not so much any more...

BOOKS
Going into academia kind of killed reading for pleasure for me. Well, 'killed' is too strong, maybe put it on life support. My favorite novelists are Kurt Vonnegut and Philip K. Dick.

MUSIC
Another thing I do less of than I used to. But my tastes definitely run mainly to rock and roll, garage and punk: the Who, PJ Harvey, Gang of Four, RATM. Also Big Star / Alex Chilton, Laurie Anderson, jump blues, rockabilly, surf instrumentals (from Dick Dale to Man or Astroman), and Sinatra. I like some jazz, mainly in small to moderate doses. I love Bach, like the Kronos Quartet, and other classical's OK by me — both of my parents were symphony musicians — but I don't chose to listen to it myself very often. I like Steve Reich a lot.

FOOD
I am so boring gastronomically. I like stuff plain, sans sauces (a category in which I include Ketchup and mustard as well as the fancy Frenchy stuff). I'm not much for ethnic cuisines unless you count American-Italian — which i bet you don't :-). But one of the joys of being in the Bay Area is being able to get a burrito at Pancho Villa in the Mission. 'Formal dining' and/or 'nice' restaurants with elegant menus, mannered wait staff and expensive entrees tend to creep me out a bit.

I don't eat vegetables. Well, as a Midwesterner, I do like corn on the cob, but I've been informed that doesn't count. I have a whole comedy routine worked up about it:
**begin joke**
I am the founder, and AFAIK the only member, of PERP: People For Ethical Relationships to Plants. At PERP we believe green leafy plants are a higher, nobler, and more moral form of life than animals, so it is wrong to kill them and eat them. Plants do not kill other living things, they ask only for sunshine and rain. Like humans, all animals are drenched in the Sin of destroying Life in order to survive. The exceptions for destruction of plant life in PERP are grains and starches, because they're just so damn dumb. Therefore: ham and cheese on rye = thumbs up! And peanuts, of course. (Note: it's OK per PERP, and even recommended, to eat the surplus things our leafy friends so generously leave for us: apples, oranges, tomatoes... I'll take an OJ with that slice of Italian Sausage pizza please!
**end joke**
But I do have to say I have no idea how anyone eats Pepperoni: urghh!

OTHER STUFF
In addition to films, my cultural interests include modern/contemporary art and museums thereof. My two favorite museum displays are the Duchamp room in Philly and the Cornell installation at the Art Institute of Chicago. I also like 'outsider'/'visionary' art (Darger, Finster, etc. — AVAM in Baltimore is awesome), Hopper, photorealism, pop, Dada, and John Heartfield.

While I'm more of a culture person, and I tend not to seek the great outdoors on my own, I do enjoy a bit of nature now and then. I love Muir Woods, the Marin Headlands (so eerie), the Pacific shore... Along similar lines, I don't have a strong passion for travel, though I almost always enjoy myself and find something interesting in new places when I wind up going somewhere for reasons other than just to go there.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Irony
Pizza
My memory
I forget the rest.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
why I think about too many things, and whether I should really be thinking about other things other than what I'm thinking about, and why I forgot what I was thinking about five minutes ago.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
wistful.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is buried in the word-salad of the self-summary above.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 45–62
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've actually read this whole page without succumbing to fatigue. :-)

You think we might be able to have an interesting conversation and make each other laugh.

You'd be willing to go out with or be friends with Michael Moore: if he wasn't heavy, so into himself, driven, rich and famous, married, etc. (I.e., you think you might like a funny left-wing documentary filmmaker from the upper Midwest.)