If you are dumb, then just leave. No, I mean it. All my friends give me shit that I always go for pretty, dumb girls that have nothing to offer...and they're right.
I am making some changes around here! So if you are smart, witty, funny, like to laugh, like to have stimulating intellectual conversations, know what "redundant" means, and/or wear cute little hipster glasses, then please stay.
I don't claim to be the "best" guy that you could possibly date, but I do have a few key advantages over the competition:
1) I am ridiculously charming. That sensation that you're feeling in the pit of your stomach, having made it this far into the "summary", is not disappointment...no. It's the little seedling of charm starting to bud. I work from the inside out.
2) I am a master of supplication. If you are going to Google or dictionary.com, deduct 300 cool points from your overall score, and 10 points from your IQ score right now.
3) I defy you to stay mad at me (see advantage number 2)
4) Unless by some chance you have already boned Louis CK or Chris Rock, then I am one of the funniest dudes you will ever meet. At least, that's what my friends say.
But wait, there's more!!!