I'm a pretty typical guy. I find it hard not to look at a TV if there's sports on it (especially hockey). I find myself in smoky bars a lot. I notice cute girls. I like being the center of attention. I work too much, but I'm not a geek or a dork. I stay up too late and I like to sleep in. I don't like dressing up too much, and don't care that much about fashion. I like to open doors for women, and walk between them and the traffic. I'm deliberate, but can be silly, and often snarky to the point of irreverent subversiveness.

I'm not a very typical guy. I work for myself, so can take time off pretty much whenever I want. I do stand-up comedy, but not for the money (which is good, since there is very little money in it and I'm not good at self-promotion). I don't follow sports, or know much about players or teams, although I play basketball and a little hockey. I'm lucky enough to be very bright... I was in a math PhD program at UCLA, although I dropped out because I didn't want to become a professor. I can solve a Rubik's cube in about 100 seconds (or juggle three of them). Yes, I'm a nerd. I'm from Canada and once in a while you can hear the accent. I live in two very different cities, and split my time between them. I'm reserved and polite. I don't smoke, drink coffee or alcohol (I've been told I'm so fun, it's a surprise), but yet never been the slightest bit religious. I'm reliable and not rebellious.

I'm trying to make it more interesting. Well, I was. Now it may be a bit too interesting. So now I'm just trying to maintain.

Learning, and then knowing. Problem solving (especially math, computers, puzzles). Dry wit. Cardiovascular endurance. Looking things up on the internet. Not understanding Shakespeare. Irreverence. Having and expressing opinions. IM conversation. Forearm massage. Making gratuitous changes in my OKCupid profile so it appears higher in your search results. Karaoke (despite being a not great singer). Deferring gratification and thinking long-term (don't eat that marshmallow, kid). Deflecting intrusive OKCupid questions.

Why are you asking me? I'm the only person who can't answer this question.

I love cookbooks describing what to serve during TV movies about famous composers.

At the risk of self-compartmentalization, here's a more genuine answer: The Office, ice cream, Arcade Fire, Bach, A-Ha, 30 Rock, Pink Floyd, Community, Sushi, Arrested Development, Italian, Chinese, the Rio Buffet, The Police, The Life of Pi, Weezer, No Doubt, watermelon, Mozart, Indigo Girls, The Killers, Lady Gaga, steak, Radiohead, The Shins... you know, that sort of thing.

TODO: Insert humourous response based on overly literal interpretation of "could never do without" by listing obscure but inarguably life-sustaining elements here.

TODO #2: make prior TODO more readable.

Everything. I've pretty much worn out all the obvious stuff. Luckily, the meta-stack of thought is infinitely high.

In short, I can't stop thinking. Help!!!

comparing myself to Rebecca Black.

Adding just a few extra words to my profile so that it reaches the 1000 word minimum cutoff to be considered "interesting" by a particularly oversimplifying computer algorithm.

Fish. Dog. Leprechaun. Ketchup. Hamster. Indubitably.

I invented the sun. (Shhh... don't tell.)

you have freckles. I like freckles