1) All women wish they were ducks. Ducks with opposable thumbs, because how else would you take selfies? Otherwise you are just a duck, and that's just lame.
2) Adding _taco to the end of your screen name as a woman is common...and that is weird. What would you do if my screen name was über _geo_guy_weiner? _footlong? _hotdog? _kielbasasausage? _otherphallicfoodobjectsobjectifyingmymanliness?
3) Reading is hard...? No one wants to read a novel, and no one wants to read a thousand messages! So I'm not going to message you first. Period. Waste of my time. I may star thingy you...in which, star thingy back! We can share in mutual start thingy weirdness. Or we can chat. Whatevs.
4) Most people doing online dating aren't ready to actually date. If you are hung up on your ex...move on from my profile, and them. Then date. Signed, everyone.
5) I, and everyone else, hates online dating...yet we do it. Hoorah. Now stop wasting my time beautiful, smart, funny, outgoing woman, and let me treat you to a night filled with hilarity and adventure. I am pretty awesome. I shouldn't be single and neither should you. Yet we are. And that...is lame.
Combat lameness...message me.