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ueberaffe

40 M Orlando, FL

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 11:18am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other, and laughing about it
Sign
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Hospitality
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Has dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Okay)

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My self-summary
Hello, nice ladies of the internet.

I regularly post bad-- a.k.a. awesome-- puns to Facebook, like "Dearth Vader never offered much as a villain." One day, I'll invent a famous internet meme, but for me the process of invention is really the best part. I proofread almost everything I write, and autocorrect makes me afraid to send a text message that uses the word, "onus."

Ultimately, I’m looking for someone to laugh with, share some fun, interesting things, and maybe…if we play our cards right…someone with whom I can build a life. I don't want an insta-relationship, and I'd much rather court a real person than my own projections and expectations. All in all, I don't think finding someone with whom I share a really deep connection should be as easy as shopping on Amazon dot com, though I do love me some books.

Lately, I have come to realize that it is better to want to be a significant other than it is to just want one. Somewhere out there is a lady whose sensibilities are the bacon to my brussel sprouts, the grilled onions to my melted cheese, the knees on my bees. I’m hopeful about this, though not naïve. So, if you think we could click, let’s meet up and talk.

Also, I don't drink. If that makes you self-conscious, or if it takes a village of booze to get you through the day, then we are not for each other.
What I’m doing with my life
Working my way up at a new career. I have a one-year plan and a thirty-year plan.
I’m really good at
Words and writing. I’m a published author and slayer of bad grammar.

Trivia: In Gainesville, I "captained" a winning-ass nerd posse called the Shoggoths of Hoth. Grrrrr! Arrrrrgh! I also have 6 different versions of Trivial Pursuit.
The first things people usually notice about me
Lately, I've grown a beard and a lot of people say, "Hey, I like your beard!"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Joss Whedon is my master. Patton Oswalt is my spirit animal. Philip Caputo’s Indian Country and Max Brooks’ World War Z are two of my favorite novels. This is Spinal Tap is the funniest movie ever made, Moonrise Kingdom is a very beautiful movie, and Gravity was so awesome it put a crick in my neck. Devo, the Pixies, and Jimi Hendrix are the seminal bands of my musical taste (with honorable mention to the Dead Kennedys & Dandy Warhols). Lately, I've been digging Jonathan Coulton. I’m a huge fan of the podcast Good Job Brain, and I love NPR. (Is it just me, or does Diane Rehm really hate saying “Send us a tweet”?). Oh, and be warned: I love onions and garlic.
The six things I could never do without
My cats and dog
Music
Friends & family
Movies, books & good TV
Good food
Intellectual stimulation
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Politics, history, people I care about, my cats, my dog, things that crack me up, the ineffable magic of the universe, how "Weird" Al Yankovic was "Weirder" in the 80s and that was probably because of the Cold War.
On a typical Friday night I am
Whatever I'm doing, I hope the food and conversation are good.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have some truly, sublimely terrible movies saved on my hard drive that I am saving to share with the right lady.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 27–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You are a positive, intellectually curious person who seeks a fulfilling life and sees the good in people. Geek girls with (or without) ink are a huge plus!

If you have baggage, that's okay, too. Just make sure you know that you are responsible for stowing it well enough to where it doesn't easily fall and hit other passengers' heads.

Oh yeah, and if you're Tina Fey; definitely if you're Tina Fey.