I used to try making these things as elegant as possible. But since the advent of Twitter and a dozen other mediums that rely on telegraph-sized thoughts, I'll cut to the chase. Maybe my next update will be nothing but a series of hashtags.

Washington, DC for seven years. Regretfully monolingual. Registered Independent, politically liberal with surprising Rand moments. Homoflexible. Excessively flirty. Only child. From Mississippi. Obsessed with ramen noodles, commas and em dashes, and symmetry in food. Short, pale and balding, but somehow gets dates anyway (I try not to question it). Often thinks in pseudocode. Visited 27 countries, none of which are Canada. Dreams of visiting Tonga. Meditates at the Kennedy Center (especially the terrace when it's cold) or Latin Mass. Imagines a dream place with Dutch culture, Tunisian weather, New Orleanian grit, Roman evenings and Vietnamese food. Trying to figure out how to live a life about which The Economist would write an obituary.

Working on my career, trying to stay in a positive gym routine, continuing the never-ending battle to wake up on time.

Showing up on time, interacting with a huge variety in types of people, cleaning myself, introspection, playing the kazoo, manipulating groups of people, making gourmet ramen noodles, listening, cracking really dry jokes.

My hot friends

Books: Shopgirl, Sarah, The Pleasure of My Company, Atlas Shrugged, The Giving Tree, The Art of War, The Wasp Factory

Movies: Scent of a Woman, Chocolat, 12 Angry Men, Pecker, Go, The House of Yes, The Jerk, Harvey, Real Genius, LA Story, Other People's Money

Music: The National Anthem of Azerbaijan is pretty cool. Aside from that, whatever. My radio is usually on C-SPAN, but I switch to NPR when I'm feeling frisky.

Foods: Tomatoes, vanilla, spinach salads with olive oil dressing, souls, sushi, steak tartare, kibbi naya, grasscutter, phở. I usually try to stay organic, but I'm not militant about it. I'm a solid omnivore, but think meat should be raised and eaten responsibly.

Wikipedia, my passport, people watching, my penis, vodka, coffee

Human systems, sex, cultural backgrounds, dysfunction in the workplaces of first-world nations, identity politics

Taking a light gym night, then going out to catch up with friends with the full knowledge that this will be the night I control myself and have only two drinks. And then you can fill in the blanks.

There's very little traditionally "private" stuff I don't share with the general public. I have very little shame.

Umm... how about this. The only thing that keeps me from stealing hotel pens is that most of them are crappy.

Any of these sound like you...

You have a unique perspective on the world. You are from an interesting background, or another country. You can hold a mature conversation and speak objectively. You're incredibly hot and manage to get by on that (hey, I'm a little geeky, but not dead).