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54 Seattle, WA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 21–55
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Other, and laughing about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Seeing Someone
Mostly non-monogamous
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Sign Language (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
If you are interested in me, your chances at my attention improve dramatically if you read my profile. (You would think this would be obvious, no?)

You can also save yourself time by skipping the simplistic "hey baby" letters, as well as the ones that tell me what you don't like about my profile. (Again, not always obvious, apparently.)

I prioritize the physical. That means I'm not looking for pen-pals or long-distance liaisons. It also means I prefer dance, touch, romance, erotics. I love my friends, and there is room in my life for more, but I am seeking those who are local and looking for physical connections. (This does not mean you should send me pictures of your sexual organs. It really doesn't.)


I'm selective in my companions, but how you see the world is more important to me than what you know. I look for the willingness to put oneself in the moment-- to fall, fail, fumble, and stand again.

I prefer those who have found some measure of calm after coming through lightning and hailstones, those who said "yes" to life often enough to have scars. I find that few are as gentle as those who have fought too hard, or as quiet as those who have already said too much. I don't mind arrogance if it's accompanied by intelligence and insight, provided neither of us takes ourselves too seriously.

Physicality matters to me. I'm physically active and in very good shape. I want my intimate companions to be as well.

My goal is to have ownership of the house of self-- loose nails, uneven floors, peeling walls, and all. Some days the front door key doesn't work right. I keep on with the work. I make mistakes. That's okay.

I'm sincere but not always serious, dry-witted yet silly, passionate but cautious, kind yet dangerous, beautiful but geeky, brilliant and sometimes modest. I expect patterns to reveal themselves to both reason and intuition, even when they don't. I try to avoid thinking dishonest thoughts.

I am contemplative, provocative, and non-traditional.

I am not your fantasy of me, but I am okay that you have one. I am changeable, I am contradictory.

I am not for the faint of heart.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Planning for the fantastic while taking the days one at a time. I seek companions who are extraordinary, who have sought grace while walking through garbage (indeed, who study how to transform the one into the other), who have offered a hand to someone who didn't deserve it, who believe in both magic and reason, and who sometimes even wish upon stars.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Looking beyond the obvious. Hearing what isn't being said. Questioning assumptions. Cutting through the layers. Looking for edges.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I asked. One fellow said: "I was pleasantly surprised to find you were more articulate than I had imagined, and more sensual". Another said: "Your eyes and face are intense. The way you pay attention. And that you're really good-looking."

I've also heard: "you're sort of intimidating."

We see others not as they are, but as we are, so maybe this says more about my companions than it does about me.

Yes, I can wield a sharp wit but more often these days I find myself quiet, trying to understand the person across from me.

And then there was the time I was so enchanted by the fellow across the table that I couldn't find any cleverness in myself at all and stumbled over my words. It happens sometimes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. Sex at Dawn, which is useful reading for those considering me a potential romantic/erotic match.

But truly, I don't believe that people match or bond over books, music, movies, and food except perhaps initially or superficially. If you read, like music, have seen a movie or series and been moved, and eat, well, that's good enough for me. If our tastes are dissimilar, but we connect, then we open new doors for each other, right?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Water, air, food, gravity, touch, music, chocolate. Oh, that's
seven. Make your own damned rules.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Sex. Intimacy. Truth. Chocolate. Dance. The Methylation Cycle.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Writing. Reading. Watching. Reflecting. Dancing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I can tell a lot about you from your pics, profile, and letters to me. In my perfect world, you think that's cool, you. (But this is not an offer to critique your profile for you. I can refer you to professionals for that sort of work.)

The second-most private thing I'm willing to admit:

I make mistakes.

About Casual Sex

I checked the "casual sex" box in my search criteria. Judging from some of the notes I'm getting, this could use some explanation.

Casual sex, yes, but in the context of an un-casual relationship. Or un-casual sex in the context of a casual relationship. That is, something in the mix is focused on intimacy, connection, risk. If this makes sense to you, I think that's really cool, me.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You mean it. I regularly get toe-dipping "just trying this thing out" letters. Not interested.

You're not new to this game. I don't seem to be a good first or early contact. If you're new to online dating, OKC in particular, I suggest you put off contacting me until later.

You are local. "Near me" does not include the other side of the planet. Please be in Seattle or near by. If you think you should be an exception, tell me why up front. Same with lack of pictures. Otherwise I'll assume you haven't read my profile and be disinclined to answer.

You have something to say. I don't often answer "hi!" and similar missives. Tell me something real. Tell me how you see the world. Tell me what you think we might have in common.

You are passionate about being in the world and you manifest that in some way, be it musical, spiritual, physical, or material; you're not afraid to take risks (or better yet, you are, but that doesn't stop you); you're intrigued by intentional community; you are familiar with multi-adult living (Sex at Dawn is a good summary); you study martial arts or dance; you are physically active and healthy and mean to stay that way; you love and maybe even play music; you're mature (whatever your years); you know how to use semicolons correctly (or are sensible enough to avoid using them at all); you've read this far and really hope I have a sense of humor what with the semicolon thing and all; you believe in something and you don't believe in something else, or better yet, you play with belief as if it were a sharp-edged toy; you once caught a wiff of cigar outside a darkened doorway in a fog-filled night when the light was just so and the sounds of a sax came floating out of a window and you knew, you just knew, it was One of Those Moments. You like strawberries. Or you don't.

You partner dance. If on top of everything else, you dance something like Swing, Blues, Argentine tango, or Fusion that's extra special cool.

What I look for

A filled-out profile. Answers sufficient to result in at least an 80% match. (Note: OKC regularly inflates match criteria, and today's 80% is tomorrow's 99%. We'll need more than that.) Pictures. If you don't have all that, I am unlikely to engage unless you have a very entertaining story as to why. "Hi sexy" is not that story.

Another word about pictures: yes, these pictures are all of me, and none of them are faked. If you don't put up pics, okay, but don't expect me to reply to you. Or give me a really good story about why you don't and I don't mean the one about how you don't want her to find out. (Someone here suggested I should put "no cheaters!" at the top of my profile, just to be clear. Consider it said.)