Hello. This somewhat attractive beardy individual who is currently speaking to you via text is named Brian. That is, I'm Brian. And I have never been on a single date as a result of this website, which may or may not be a good thing. I write for the blog/website Batman's Got a Nosebleed and make very little in the way of money. I probably make a lot of typos too. If you read any of my things over there and notice some typos, please point them out so I can fix them. My editor (who is also me) is awful.
There's a lot of things I could put here about me. I could talk about personal issues I've overcome, things I've had to learn to live with, and I could even list off my bad habits. But, rather than doing all of that, I encourage you instead to just ask me what you want to know about me. What do you have to lose, right?
- That I am tall. Very, very tall. I will kaiju all over your ass.
- I dress reasonably nice on occasion.
- There is a lot of fur covering my skin.
- I apparently resemble Chuck Klosterman.
- I might just be awesome (opinions may vary).
Books: Cabal, Sharp Teeth, Junior, Blankets, Coraline, The Looking Glass Wars series, Solanin, American Gods, Anansi Boys, Sexy Voice & Robo, Beast, High Fidelity, Guin Saga series, The Adventures of Fanboy and Goth Girl, Where the Wild Things Are, The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales, Lost at Sea, To Kill a Mockingbird, Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Infinite Kung Fu, Wicked City series
Movies: Léon, Trick 'r Treat, 3-Iron, The Fog, Halloween, Inglourious Basterds, Evil Dead 2, The Fall, Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, Wasabi, The Royal Tenenbaums, Summer Wars, SLC Punk, The Host, Flesh + Blood, American Psycho, Lo, Hard Boiled, John Carpenter's The Thing, Total Recall, The Weather Man, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Howard the Duck, The Monster Squad, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Pacific Rim, Hotel Transylvania, Sin City, Lord of the Rings, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Juno, Crows Zero, Dudes, Night of the Creeps, Immortal, Saved, Mirrormask, Near Dark, Better Luck Tomorrow, The Howling, Aliens, Spirited Away, The Black Swan, Spork, Ink, It Follows, Dune, Rise of the Guardians, Three Amigos!, Mind Ripper, Wreck-It Ralph, You're Next, Wolf Children, From Up on Poppy Hill, The Grand Budapest Hotel
Shows: Adventure Time, Firefly, Steven Universe, Hell on Wheels, Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, Regular Show, Breaking In, Freaks and Geeks, The Amazing World of Gumball, Young Justice, Ugly Americans, Titus, Lucky Louie, Falling Skies, Warehouse 13, Thundercats, G.I. Joe: Renegades, The Layover, Green Lantern, Justified, Awake, Gravity Falls, Grimm, Louie, Crossing Lines, Game of Thrones, Defiance, Sleepy Hollow, Hannibal, @midnight, Black Sails
Music: Tom Waits, Gunship, Daft Punk, Stars, Trevor Something, Ellie Goulding, The Builders and the Butchers, Kavinsky, The Decemberists, Neutral Milk Hotel, Basia Bulat, Chromeo, Architecture in Helsinki, Little Pictures, The Civil Wars, Eisley, Gorillaz, Sufjan Stevens, Justice, Ok Go, Timecop1983, Childish Gambino, Beirut, The Darkness, Peter Bjorn and John, Muse, Genki Sudo, Cœur de Pirate, Avantasia, Within Temptation, Phoenix, Elvis Perkins in Dearland, Silversun Pickups, Matt the Electrician, Florence + the Machine, Of Monsters and Men, Björn Kleinhenz, Nightwish, Bedouin Soundclash
Comic Series: Simon Dark, Tank Girl, The Walking Dead, Dorohedoro, Popgun, Invincible, Runaways, Multiple Warheads, Dogs, King City, Scott Pilgrim, Fables, I, Zombie, Madman, Gunsmith Cats, Worst, Hopeless Savages, Akira, Deadpool, Preacher, Taskmaster, Rosario + Vampire, Gotham Central, Hatter M, Air Gear, Hack/Slash, Vagabond, Thunderbolts, Kick-Ass, Criminal, Sin City, Mouse Guard, Joe the Barbarian, G.I. Joe, Courtney Crumrin, 30 Days of Night, American Vampire, Generation X, Journey Into Mystery, The Boys, Cowboy Ninja Viking, Flex Mentallo, Chew, Saga, Gladstone's School for World Conquerors, Animal Man, Just a Pilgrim, Love Roma, Mystery Men, The Atomics, Bullet Points, Powerless, Dororo, I Luv Halloween, Kill Me, Kiss Me, Peepo Choo, R.E.B.E.L.S.
Artists: Brandon Graham, David Choe, Kazuma Kaneko, Chinua White, Mike Allred, Shohei Manabe, Bryan Lee O'Malley, Jamie Hewlett, Ralph Niese, Barnaby Ward, Katsuhiro Otomo, Dan Brereton, Lily Hoshino, Kate Beaton, Shirow Miwa, Frank Quietly, Range Murata, Enki Bilal, Cory Green, Alex Perez, Takehiko Inoue, Fumi Ishikawa, Marian Churchland, Falcoon, Sean Murphy, Osamu Tezuka, Doug Mahnke, Sheldon Vella, Clément Sauvé, Moebius, Kagan McLeod
Writers: Neil Gaiman, Hideyuki Kikuchi, Alan Moore, Clive Barker, Robert Kirkman, Stephen King, Greg Rucka, Joe Hill, Kaoru Kurimoto, Frank Beddor, Toby Barlow, Kevin J. Anderson, Michael Crichton, Grant Morrison, Kazuo Koike, Samuel Clemens, Bill Willingham, S.D. Perry, Douglas Adams, Peter David, Jen Van Meter, Jason Aaron
Games: Suikoden II, Final Fantasy VIII, Phantom Brave, Megaman Legends, Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete, Fallout: New Vegas, Chrono Trigger, Blood Will Tell, Maken X, Final Fantasy Tactics, Septerra Core, The Munchables, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Fallout 3, Ghosthunter, The Bouncer, Jet Grind Radio, Okage: Shadow King, Trace Memory, Batman: Arkham Asylum, Sengoku Basara, Thousand Arms, Rival Schools, Splatterhouse 2, Suikoden V, Phantom Brave, Onimusha 3: Demon Siege, Wild Arms, Soul Blade, Persona 4
- Music that no one else I know listens to.
- Books that you will likely never read.
- Indoor plumbing.
- A pointed stick.
- My backpack's got jets. I'm Boba the Fett. I bounty hunt for Jabba Hutt to finance my 'Vette.
Just a few thoughts in passing, yes?
I also have rather pouty lips and am very insecure about it.
- You happen to find Robin Williams attractive.
- You like a guy who enjoys cuddling.
- You want a bad doodle of you. Seriously, if you message me I will do a bad doodle of you. It'll distract me from terrible movies.
- You know that The Street Fighter isn't a movie based on a video game and The Black Swan has nothing to do with ballet.
- You enjoy reading.
- You understand that sex is important, just not the most important thing.
- You prefer The Walking Dead comic series to the television series.
- You'll go on walks with me.
- A Clive Barker movie marathon sounds like an attractive prospect to you. Really just having movie marathons period, as I love me some movies.
- You find me attractive on some level and would like to explore that further.
You should not message me if
- You find hairy guys in their late 20s/early 30s unattractive.
- Books bore you and/or you think reading is dumb.
- You don't want to, I suppose. There's no gun to your head, yes?