Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Contents of this box subject to change...and now, thanks to some
automated curse of technology, I find myself using words to fill a
space most folks won't read...
Entitled folks need not apply. If you have a compliment, own it,
say it, but don't think I owe you more than thank you. If you have
a comment or question, ask like someone worthy of respect and you
will get it in return. Act like a generic comment means I owe you
something, and should I choose to respond, you will not like what I
have to say. If you wouldn't walk up to me in person and say that,
don't funk up my inbox with your social ineptitude. If you want to
know more about me, have your questions ready because there's
enough info on here to help you with those questions; I am not
going to pry them out of you. Not ready to handle a conversation
like an adult? Rest assured, you will find me insulting.
I am an animal welfare advocate (not to be mistaken for an animal
rights advocate. I don't throw theatrical fits in public because
someone chooses to wear fur for the sake of drawing negative
attention to my cause. I chose not to wear the skin of an animal I
won't eat, thereby not contributing to something I personally find
I am educated as a veterinary assistant and as a massage therapist
and work as a volunteer activity coordinator for an equine humane
society. I've learned over the last few years that for as 'under
the radar' as this all sounds, all one has to do is appear on the
local and national news and BAM! Instant rockstar: more news
cameras, interviews, social media hype, visits from law enforcement
(and lawyers), stalkers and all.
For fun, I occasionally appear undead in public. And no, the month
of October is not a prerequisite for me to do this, however I did
just play a zombie extra in a live production of Night of the
Living Dead. Twas so much fun I predict a repeat performance in the
Other things...I have no interest in organized religion. If you do,
that's great, leave me out. If you indicate a religion of any kind
that you take seriously, don't write me. We are not likely to get
along even in text.
I do not have children. If you do, that's wonderful. I have no
interest in meeting them on a first date, nor hearing about them as
if they are your sole interest or identity, just as I'm sure most
folks wouldn't want to hear me go on ad nauseum about my horse or
Oh, and if you have pics of children in your profile, don't write
me. I have no desire to speak with or meet single parents that use
their children's image on an adult dating site. If you can't figure
out what's wrong with that, no amount of conversation with me is
going to help you.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
"Hey Rockie, watch me pull a rabbit out of this hat!"
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
bodywork (over 790 hours of training and real world practice. I
didn't just read a book.), rationalizing cynicism, sarcasm and a
bad attitude to actually be the most logical response to a given
situation (this quirk seems to be the logical explanation as to why
I might be single too...and I'm good with that.), thinking up (and
later testing) alternative uses for everyday items (oh yes, I will
go there. in the accessory and tester aisle of the local auto part
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my eyes, my tattoos, my hair if I've done something out of the
"norm", my butt if that happens to be the side I'm approached
from...or that I'm a helluva lot taller on horseback.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Heinlein, Koontz, Douglas Adams...
Action, animation. comedy, sci-fi, documentaries (yeah, I'm a dork
like that), classic horror (the inspiration for all the
disappointing horror now. sigh.)...
just about any kind of music goes. except gospel. I have a tendency
for fast and aggressive, or that which makes butts bounce..dubstep
is my newest fascination.
I have weaknesses for Chinese, Thai, Mexican (not just taco hell)
and Jamaican fare...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
4WD, 4:20, a faster than dial up internet connection, music,
perverted companions and occasional intellectual banter.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
DAMN I'm glad no one ever trapped me with offspring!
Sometimes I wonder if there is someone that really is compatible
with me and not just because of a horoscope or dating site match
But mostly, I'm just really glad about no one trapping me.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
avoiding local bar drama.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
chances are, if something has sounded interesting, kinky and 90%
non-fatal...I've probably done it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
~you can compose a complete sentence. Text speak when you aren't
texting is lazy. If you can't make the effort to use the language
this profile is written in (English for those of you that weren't
sure), I can't be bothered to take you seriously.
As a side note, if the only sentence you can come up with after
reading this profile is "hi. how are you?" any correspondence we
have will be painfully slow, if at all. You want to be taken
seriously? Have something to say.
~you have a realistic grasp of geography. NO. REALLY. YOU have a
REALISTIC grasp of geography. driving more than 2 hours one way to
meet someone is not my idea of "near me", and unless you're capable
of intelligent conversation, there's no reason to waste anyone's
~you don't have a ethnic preference. If you have answered questions
about ethnic preferences in such a way that if I repeat them to
you, you feel as though you've been called a racist...guess what?
You probably are and you should NOT be contacting me. I would have
more respect for you if you own your prejudice than if you take
offense at someone pointing out the truth.
~you aren't writing with some transparent ulterior motive. Yes, I'm
bi. No, I won't put on an act for you and your partner because it
would amuse your sex lives. It does nothing for me.
~you aren't curious about your sexuality. I'm good with being
curious about certain acts (although once you've overpowered power
tools with a vice grip kegel, there aren't a whole lot of things
left to be curious about...) but you should already know what you
are willing to do with another human before asking me to slow down
for you to see if being with me is something you enjoy.
~you REALLY understand the English this profile is written in. If
English is not your first language, I won't lie, we're probably
going to have communication problems. Language isn't necessarily
the barrier, the understanding is. If I can't understand you, I
don't care how enthusiastic you are to meet me, it won't work. I
need to understand and trust that I'm being understood.
~you are really single, not in an open or "poly" committed
relationship saying you're single to get through filter settings.
If I want to be part of a trio, even for just a night, I'll contact
you and yours.
~you have never rage kicked an entire friend's list for associating
with an ex.
Who are you looking for?
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