*Note* I've had a few emails and quickmatches lately, but I'm really not looking for a serious relationship right now. I just finished spending most of the last year in unemployment and uncertainty, and I need time to get my shit together again. Because I didn't have this noted in my profile, I've had to send a couple of emails that, while I was just sharing my feelings, felt like I was sending rejection letters. I hate sending something that could be taken that way... more than I dislike receiving. That said, if you really think that you can't live another day without this fat goofy dork in your life, and if the above doesn't dissuade you from your delusion, feel free to write.*Note*

I consider myself to be a hybrid of geek, dork, nerd and a little bit of badass. I lack the vanity required for hair implants or a rug, and have enough self-respect that I refuse to rock the comb-over, so I buzz or shave the skull. I'm strong enough to do some heavy lifting, have been told that I have magically powerful (powerfully magic?) hands that missed their true calling. Compulsive honesty, a tendency towards kindness and compassion, and not much of a filter between my brain and my mouth. Speaking of mouth, I spent a few years in the military, and while I've sanded down the rough edges, if the occasional use of the words Fuck, Shit, Bastard, Asshole (or variations thereof) bother you a lot, I'm probably not your rock star. Not saying I can't behave when it's called for...

Looking for a woman who wants her man to be a Man... a man that can be a little rough around the edges, with a sarcastic and twisted sense of humor. A pervert with a heart of gold.

I can be an unmerciful tease at times, and will be just plain delighted if you're able to return the favor. Also, I like to start sentences with conjunctions. But I do have the common decency to feel bad about it.

I have a thing for water, be it sandy-salty, chlorinated or otherwise. My dream house would have a 300gallon hot water heater, a waterfall shower, a giant jacuzzi inside, a hottub outside... and what the hey... a pool too. Near the beach. I grew up surfing, and plan on taking it up again this summer.

Professional geek. Beats working at a french fry factory. Though if I could get the same money for factory work, I might consider it these days.

Learning to simplify and organize and habit-ify (okay I know that one's not a word) my life. While my goofiness, spontaneity and under-the-radar rebellion once seemed to me the epitome of freedom, I finally see the liberation from tedium that good habits can bring. Duh.

Stretching my culinary horizons.

Levitating. (Update: This one isn't going so well) (Further update: I'm tempted to give up on this one, but Napoleon Hill insists that all I have to do is believe to make manifest my desires... so I'll give it another year).

Making people laugh, putting myself in someone else's shoes (whether I agree or not), being thoughtful and loving, swearing like a motherfucker, arguing my point, admitting when I've made a mistake or when my current theories may need adjusting, spelling, writing, gleaning a basic understanding of systems, sounding pretty good on the guitar for about 15 minutes, and massage/back/shoulder rubs.

My breasts. No wait... I meant my eyes... or it could be that I'm smiling like a goon all the time... or that I can and will blurt out the most random things in a public place. I wondered if I had Tourette's for years. Of course that was until I found out that those so afflicted don't have any control over what they randomly blurt or twitch or whatever. So I'm really just an ADD spaz instead. What were we talking about? OOooooohhh, shiny!!!

Very hard to choose just one of any of those. What I've included is just a smattering:

Books - Einstein's Dreams, Alan Lightman; Snow Crash, Neil Stephenson; Essays in Humanism, Albert Einstein; Black Spring, Henry Miller; The Illuminatus! Trilogy, R.A.Wilson(RIP) + Robert Shea; Anything by Christopher Moore; Anything by Nicholson Baker (currently reading his new one "Human Smoke"); Anything by Neil Gaiman (just picked up the first two volumes of the Absolute Sandman... third is pre-ordered). Vonnegut, Tolkien, Sedaris, Robbins, Gibson, Coupland, Anthony Bourdain (I like his writing.. sue me) ... so yeah, I like books.

Music - Madchester to grindcore, saccharine twee pop to noise rock, scum rock to hard country. In the car currently: Volbeat - Rock the Rebel, Metal the Devil; VA - When Pigs Fly; Black Crowes - Southern Harmony; The Cult - Love; Rolling Stones - Beggars Banquet; The Rockstars - 1+1=Death; I like a whole shit-ton of music. Sonic Youth, Matthew Sweet, 50 Foot Wave, Vladimir Horowitz, Bowie, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Joy Division, New Order, Smashing Pumpkins, Rolling Stones, Ani D., fIREHOSE, Butthole Surfers, Fudge Tunnel, Squeeze, NIN, Johnny Cash, Dio, Marvin Gaye, Heatwave, Minor Threat, Black Flag, Coltrane, Soul Coughing/Mike Doughty, Cake, Veruca Salt, Jimi Hendrix, Al Green.....

I love blues singer Ursula Ricks... she plays in Fell's Point (Baltimore) occasionally. Her voice brings me alternately to tears, goosebumps, chills and tumescence.

Movies - South Park Movie (and yes, I'll defend my choice!!!); Idiocracy; Amelie; Kung Fu Hustle, Eagle vs. Shark, Repo Man; pi; Virgin Suicides; trainspotting; Blow; most Cohen Bros stuff, (really love the Hudsucker Proxy); American Beauty; American Hardcore; SLC Punk; Hook; Wedding Singer, Joe vs. the Volcano, V for Vendetta; Eastern Promises; View Askewniverse flicks, etc. I also love movies that are so awful, they transcend. Run Ronnie Run, Screwed and Dirty Love come to mind.

Food - Love to cook and eat. I had a Food Network epiphany several years ago, realizing that I could cook GOOD food for the same price (or less) as going out for crap. My repertoire is relatively narrow, but I'm working on it. Meat. Tend to cook a lot of meat. Sushi... I'll drive what is almost an hour each way to my favorite Sushi bar: Yuraku in Germantown. *swoon*

My kids. I'm so happy that I LIKE my kids as well as love them. I've seen too many parents that just don't get their kids, and vice-versa.

Music. CD's/mp3's/guitars/etc. LOVE music. Obsessive to the point where sometimes people just back away towards the door rather than deal with the foaming lunatic who says "Ohhhh... this is one of my favorite records!!!" I do this about so many that my kids make fun of me for it.

Books. I was not blessed with much in the way of a formal education, so my relationship with the written word has opened up the world for me. I read constantly.

Friends/Family: In my case, my friends are my family. I do have some family members I still talk to on occasion, but I'm much closer to the people that I can count on than those who happen to be related by blood or marriage.

Internet: If someone had told me when I was a teenager "About a decade from now, there will be a computer network connecting millions of people from distant, far away lands, sharing news, ideas, photos, interests and porn.... and for a relatively small fee, you'll be able to log in, type in a key word, and often find out more information on a subject than you really wanted to know. That much of the knowledge the human race has accumulated is available for the asking..." I wouldn't have believed it. Thanks, Mr. Berners-Lee!

How people delude themselves. Why parents don't consider it important to teach their children empathy as well as confidence. Why many of my fellow Americans are blinded by patriotism, and are completely unable to admit that we might sometimes make mistakes. This is a wonderful country... I wouldn't want to live anywhere else, but to imply infallibility is a lie.

How it is that women can be the least bit sane in light of what they have to put up with. Sure there's the obvious few (and generalized, of course) - Their hormones and bodies attack them once a month between puberty and menopause (often continuing in a different vein afterwards), they have to deal with the pain of childbirth, making less money for the same work, fearing men that would take advantage of the size/strength discrepancy to victimize them, an unrealistic and unhealthy body image standard set by women who can afford to spend half a day every day in the gym (and who are often blessed with standard beauty already!), inequity in senior positions both in business and government, guys who objectify and use them for sex... I could go on. I'm glad I'm a man.

Whether or not I'll ever find a woman that really wants me to be her hero... and who's actions make her my hero sometimes as well. I don't need one that often, but it'd be nice to have.

Either hanging out with my kids or my friends... though sometimes it's nice to just stay home alone with a book or movie and recuperate from the week's trials and tribulations.

I'm living proof that a 'leopard' can change its spots. I used to be a right prick, but spent several hermit-like years effecting a 180° change. (It's more fun and less stressful being a nice guy).

I'm a high school dropout who spent one year at a community college (age 16). I took psychology, art history, layout and design and drawing. I got straight D's... and I think they graded lightly. I was having WAY too much fun to actually do my work. I've still managed to become relatively successful...impressive sounding job title and all. I'm humbled by this.

Just how hard it is to write something positive and interesting about yourself without sounding like a dick.

You like talking with quirky, relatively intelligent guys. I'm not a 6'1"+ bowflex model pretty boy. But the woman I'm looking for likely isn't his on-screen counterpart. Brains are far sexier than a pair of fake boobs. Not that there's anything wrong with boobs. (Mmmmmm... bewwwwwwbs!!!)