http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3LklV6phBE

ella fitzgerald "cry me a river"

i just love this!

 

and janis joplin doing the same song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rawsYQitKik&feature=related

which i also love.

oops, not the same song, but another ella song "summertime."

What I know about Freud has been acquired mostly indirectly, as in I've read more about him than I've actually read him, and I acknowledge him as a great thinker.

But my understanding is that Freud developed the Oedipal theory because so many of his women patients told him about being molested by a family member.  At first, he believed these women (when he had heard it from only one or two) and was very supportive of them, and then (after he had heard it more times than he could stand) he went into denial.  Poor Freud, is what I really think.  So he developed the Oedipal Complex because he really just couldn't take in that this many children--because as we all know today, this happens as often to boys as it does to girls--were being molested by fathers and family friends and older brothers.  He couldn't handle it.  He couldn't believe it.  He had to explain it somehow.

To me, that says that Freud did not molest his own daughter (or daughters, but I know only of the one, who also went into the practice of psychotherapy) and that he found the very idea of it so unthinkable, so inconceivable, so revolting, that he quite literally developed a complex about it.

Based on my own knowledge of how often it still happens today, I think, of course, that he was utterly wrong in his theory, that in fact most or more likely all of these women had been molested by someone.

But choosing the Oedipal myth to frame his theory?  Absolutely brilliant, for other reasons.  And isn't it Freud whom we have to thank, also, for the very concept of denial?  Genius, undeniable genius.

As for the penis envy theory ... I am really smiling even as I write this.  I honestly don't know what I think about that, and don't know enough about it theoretically, anyway, to have any sort of intellectual opinion about it.  What I do instinctively feel is that Freud really loved his own penis, loved it a lot!  (You go, Freud!)  And someone who really loves themselves or anything about themselves that much gets from me only a really deep smile.  I enjoy that, in other words.  I like that.  I applaud that.

But again I freely admit that my knowledge is limited, and I welcome anyone who wants to correct me on any or all of this to comment the hell out of it.  If only you would.  Please know that my settings automatically approve all comments, and I don't go back and remove people's comments for any reason, and certainly not because they have something to teach me.

And, for context, this entire posting is written in response to my last posting and LuckyLuke66's comment on it, which I deeply appreciated.  Thanks again, LuckyL.  I also posted a comment back to him there, which I dearly need to edit, but apparently I can't do that until tomorrow.  (Growl.)  So in the meantime ... once again writing about something that apparently nobody cares about but me, yours faithfully, etc.

 

Just so no one is unduly alarmed, I don't have a dick.  Of my own.  I do occasionally like to borrow one from time to time.  I just wanted to take this test since I will be referring every man who even waves hi to me to take it.  Perhaps kidding about that.  About all of that.  Almost all of that.

All I will say is she's right, you know, about every part of the test and the results she gives.  Except of course about me.  My results being clearly skewed by my dick being only a clit.  Did you know this?  Interesting factoid:  every embryo starts out female, until the Y chromosome kicks in on males and elongates his clit.  This means that males just have long, pendulous clits.  So, Freud, go fuck yourself.

Oh, perhaps this seems a bit crude.  Please don't read if you will be alarmed by this.  Please do if you understand how playful I am.

Oh, the test referral:

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/the-how-nice-is-your-dick-test

Run now and take that test yourself.  Run, I say, don't walk.

to go throw myself off the porch just now.  It's a good thing I don't have a balcony.  But instead I'll just scream here for a few seconds, and then go eat a sandwich, which is something I've been meaning to do all day ... eat something.

I was submitting a story online, at a site that insists on original submissions only--that is, not even posted on a blog anywhere--so I was (God, how stupid!!!) submitting a story that was so original, I was writing it right there at the site in their submission box.  And tech problems, lost the story, apparently for good.  And it was a really good story, in my NSH opinion.  You will pardon my French, but FUCK!!!  FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.

In a day or two, or maybe later tonight, I'll try to recreate the story, this time properly offline as you are supposed to, and saving every few sentences.  But it won't be the same.  And I'll never convince myself that it was as good as the original one.

And if crying came easily to me, I'd be crying right now.  And I have never needed a geek more than I do now.  But my geeks are all sleeping.  (And I originally mistyped geek as Greek, and I wouldn't mind one of those right now, either.  Perhaps I should make that sandwich a gyro, but too much trouble, that.)

So I guess it's lost to cyberspace forever.  I fucking hate cyberspace.

 

 

Don't you hate that?  I hate that.

But reminds me of a favorite Peanuts strip where Snoopy, just a youngish pup at the time, way cuter than when he turned cool, wakes up grouchy and thinks, "I feel like biting someone."  Yeah, I know that feeling.  Unfortunately all of Snoopy's attempts were frustrated, and so are they so often with me.  Or something.

Favorite Peanuts character:  Linus.  Very close second:  Lucy.  Again, especially in their much younger and way more innocent days.

And you?  Anyone, anyone?

Is it only me, or does everyone feel a little startled by OKCupid's use of that term rather than the more common "Inbox"?  Knowing their humor here, and having always loved it, I'm not sure they don't mean for us to think "Duck and cover" when we see that.  You know, just in case.  Anyone, anyone?

Jack (name changed to protect the innocent) is a man I work with.  I love him for so very many reasons, but even if there were no other reason, I would still love him for this alone.

I have very strong reflexes in every cell of my body.  Knees, elbows, gag, you name it.  What is good about this is that it means I avoid many, many car accidents (that would not be my fault) because I can stop on a dime or switch lanes in a flash, whatever is needed to avoid that collision.  For that matter, I can avoid collisions on foot for the same reason.  At least with people.  Inanimate objects and I have a far more complicated interaction.  What is bad about this is that it also means I have a really strong startle reflex.  It doesn't take long working with me to discover this reflex.  It is huge.  Some people find it really funny and occasionally startle me on purpose.  But for most people it is an accident.  Sometimes a repeated accident, because they forget.

Jack startled me only once by accident.  After that he made sure to always approach me from the front, which is the only sure way not to startle me.   Not because I don't have peripheral vision, because I do, but because I can get very focused when I am working.  Well, focused.  Part of me is really focused on my work, the other part is daydreaming.  In that combination, who can really be aware of her surroundings?

I should point out here that Jack sits behind me.  And that I never had to explain this to him, and only gradually realized that he was doing that.  Now, I ask you:  how could you not love a man like Jack?

 

“How does the thought of someone masturbating with you in mind make you feel?”

this reminds me of a time when i was crushing on someone rather badly and he mostly did not return my feelings.  still, one morning i had a very strong vision of him standing over his toilet and masturbating to conclusion, masturbating while thinking of me.  as he flushed away the results, he thought, "there!  that's all of me you'll ever get."  i am insane enough to still believe that this vision was real.  take that with a grain of salt.  still.  still, it is all i ever got.

if anyone cares about this:  there's a trick to it, and the trick is to stop thinking they're trying to trick you.  as in, if you look at my average, you'll see it's much lower than my final scores on both games, and getting a low score really bugged me, since i feel i have a pretty good sense about both--certainly in real life, i do.  so i did both of those activities more than once, and i'm pretty sure you get different pics each time but don't remember for certain now, and got the average you see.  then i thought, why don't i just pick who actually looks obviously like a virgin or a gay person, and not think "oh, they wouldn't make it that easy."  but apparently they did, because that's when i got the 90s on both, when i picked the obvious choice.  and stopped playing.  and the rest of you look as though you stopped playing after one time only, and your scores are like my average.  so clearly you don't care about this.  oh, well.

These are the three that I notice most commonly and which really bother me.

Who v. That: This mistake is the one that occurs most often on OKC profiles, the misuse of "that" when a person means "who." When you're speaking of a person, use the pronoun "who." So, for example, "I am the kind of man *who* likes hunting and fishing," (not *that*). And, note, my first sentence after the colon uses "that" correctly. Another example, "This is the kind of beverage *that* gives me a great buzz."

You and I v. You and Me: Learn the difference between objective and subjective case. If your pronoun is acting as a subject, is committing the action, then use "I"; otherwise, people, if it's receiving any kind of action, if it's an object, then the pronoun to use is "me." The easiest way to remember when to use "me" instead of "I" is to either reverse the pronouns or leave out the "you." You wouldn't (or at least you shouldn't) say, "Give Tom and I three days to get our act together," any more than you would say, "Give I three days...." Say, "Give Tom and me...," just as you would say, "Give me...." Thus, and where this is most often misused, you should say, "Between you and me," not "Between you and I." Pat Sajak is possibly the only person on television who gets this consistently right. I promise you, people, that all those other MCs and talk-show hosts saying, "Between you and I," are just flat out wrong. "Between" is a preposition; the pronouns are the object of the preposition. So use the objective case pronoun: "me."

As an aside, while I'm thinking of television personalities and their language, Susan Lucci (Erica Kane on "All My Children") has the best grammar on television that I've ever heard. I have never heard her use incorrect grammar, even in some pretty complicated constructions, while all around her actors are mucking up the grammar of their lines. Conversely, I am certain that she corrects the grammar even when the writers muck up her lines. (And, of course, she always gets "Between you and me" correct, too.)

Bring v. Take: Absolutely no one seems to know the difference between these verbs anymore, and almost everyone uses "bring" for practically every usage. If you're going from here to there, then you "take" something with you. If you're coming from there to here, then you "bring" something with you. So, for example, if you're standing in your kitchen talking to your significant other who is standing right beside you, you say, "I'm taking the newspaper in to work with me today." If you're standing in your kitchen talking on the phone with a co-worker who is already at the office, you say, "I'll bring the newspaper in with me today."

Enough already.

Note: This entry written while writer was drunk and peevish.