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33 Chicago, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 4:17pm
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Sales / Marketing
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Just a guy trying to earn that promotion from Bachelor to Boyfriend... I'm going need your help with that.

Here are a few things you might care about:
-I'm tall, smart, and occasionally funny
-Multiple sources have confirmed that I am "very manly"
-I "take care of myself" in all the ways people mean when they say that
-I have a career I enjoy, but I am definitely not a workaholic. I don't even like the taste of workahol.
-Musician (a hobby, not a jobby)- banjo, guitar, harmonica, bass.
-I am not a murderer... I've never even been in a fist fight!
-I'm agnostic/atheist/secular humanist/whatever, so if you're looking for a religious guy, move along. Nothing to see here...
-I am nice to my mom and I'll be nice to your mom too
-Yes, I'm actually looking for a relationship. I'm not one to rush into anything, but ultimately I'd like to be part of something meaningful.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Overall I live a pretty charmed life and my only problems are First World Problems.

A few things I'm definitely NOT doing with my life:
-Living in my parents' basement.
-Joining any sort of "fantasy" sports league. Ever.
-Taking shirtless bathroom mirror cell phone pics and posting them online in a vain attempt to attract a woman. (That never works, does it? DOES IT?!?)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Whistling. Seriously. You need a cab? I got this.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"Nice shoes."

Also, a homeless lady once asked me "Is GQ the only magazine you've ever been in?" That was a pretty nice thing to say, but I think she just wanted a dollar.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books - Some all time favorites: The Dark Tower series by Stephen King, Malcolm Gladwell's books, The Autobiography of Malcolm X, the Culture series by Iain M. Banks, various political/history/social science books. I have also recently rekindled my love affair with comic books and graphic novels. (I was a big comic geek as a kid, stopped entirely for more than a decade, now revisiting the medium as an adult.)

Movies - The Blues Brothers, The Big Lebowski, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Donnie Darko, Fight Club, Forrest Gump, documentaries, rockumentaries, anything by Stanley Kubrick, Clint Eastwood, Quentin Tarantino, the Coen Brothers, Ken Burns, etc. etc. etc. (I like good movies, you get the idea.)
Also, I love going to movies in the theater. I'm old school like that.

Music - All kinds: I especially like bluegrass, classic rock, funk, folk, Motown, soul, R&B, indie, blues, some hip hop, some country, anything you can dance to.

Here's an absurdly long list to skim:
Abigail Washburn, Alabama Shakes, Allison Krauss, Andrew Bird, the Avett Brothers, Beatles, Beck, Bela Fleck, Bill Monroe, Black Keys, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley, Bobby Womack, Bon Iver, Carolina Chocolate Drops, the Civil Wars, Cut Copy, Donovan, Django Reinhardt, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes, Feist, Fitz and the Tantrums, Flaming Lips, Flatt & Scruggs, Fleet Foxes, Florence + the Machine, Gillian Welch, Gorillaz, Gotye, Grateful Dead, Hank Williams, The Head and the Heart, Iron & Wine, James Brown, Jamie Lidell, Janis Joplin, John Hartford, John Lee Hooker, Johnny Cash, Led Zeppelin, Marvin Gaye, Miike Snow, Mumford & Sons, Nick Drake, Norah Jones, Of Montreal, Old Crow Medicine Show, Passion Pit, Phish, Pink Floyd, Pretty Lights, Punch Brothers, Radiohead, Railroad Earth, Ray Charles, Ray LaMontagne, the Roots, Ryan Bingham, Sexfist, Steve Martin, String Cheese Incident, Sublime, Sufjan Stevens, Taj Mahal, Tom Petty, Tom Waits, Trampled By Turtles, Uncle Earl, Velvet Underground, the Who, Wilco, Willie Nelson, Yonder Mountain String Band.
(You may have noticed this list is alphabetized. The only letters I missed are K, Q, X and Z. Any suggestions?)

TV - Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Parks and Recreation, Charlie Rose, Daily Show, Walking Dead, Arrested Development, 30 Rock, Family Guy, Austin City Limits.

Food - Ron Swanson said it best: "Just give me all the eggs and bacon you have."
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I'm going to take a slightly different approach to this because I'M SUCH A FUCKING REBEL.

Random stuff I really like:
Chicago's no-smoking-in-bars law, Netflix, scotch on the rocks, people-watching, non sequiturs, reddit, DSW, summer weather, my Kindle (I finally made the switch to ebooks), running/biking outside, DA BEARS, over-using parentheses in my writing style to create the illusion of intimacy with the reader (I think it works, what about you?)

Random stuff that I don't like:
Negative/depressing people, proselytizing, the suburbs (I'm looking at you Schaumburg), the Tea Party, people who have nothing to talk about except for TV or sports, tomatoes on sandwiches, when people say "exspecially", music venues that are cheap about giving the band a few free drinks (what the hell? really?), birds as pets, banana-flavored food that is not an actual banana. And olives. Yuck.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Going on an adventure.

Banjo licks and bass lines.

This website is like people-watching on steroids. I think everyone on OKC should be required to post one picture of themselves looking just fucking awful. Like the most unattractive picture you can find. Perhaps that time you had the flu. Or right after a really intense workout. Or when you just woke up, no makeup and your hair is a disaster. Something like that. It's just truth in advertising!

Also, thanks to all the ladies that specified that you "love to laugh". I wasn't sure if girls were still into laughing these days. Thanks for clearing that up.


If all of your OKC pictures are selfies, I'm concerned about your mental health.

Why is it that no one knows how to use a semicolon any more? The only time I ever see them is on one of these little guys--> ;)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Very glad that it's Friday night.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
For fun, I play banjo and harmonica in a bluegrass/folk band called Mad Bread. We don't suck, I promise. Feel free to confirm that for yourself:

Let the internet stalking begin...
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I'm not very picky about the girls I date. You just need to be stunningly gorgeous, brilliant, hilarious, wealthy, driven, graceful, a good cook, physically fit, and sexually insatiable. That's not asking too much from online dating, right?

Great reasons NOT to message me:
-You live in the suburbs
-You voted for Mitt Romney
-You're going to have to check in with your parole officer during our first date
-You're going to try to convert me to your religion
-You don't shave your armpits/legs
-You're a vegan (Vegetarians are totally fine, but I could never develop a real, meaningful relationship with someone who is morally opposed to cheese.)