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upstart_crow87

26 M Fullerton, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:04pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Strictly halal
Smokes
No
Drinks
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
I assume my reputation for arrogant presumption precedes me.

I am possibly the least competitive person I know and am in fact the current national loser in the 'Who is Least Competitive Championships' where trying to win will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.

Although technically an agnostic, I am actually torn between two faiths; while the Christian God's promise of eternal life is very enticing, the Papua New Guinean mud god, Pikkiwoki, is promising a pig and as many coconuts as I can carry.

"I'm getting pretty tired of all these motherfuckers misquoting me." -The Dalai Lama
What I’m doing with my life
I originally wanted to build robots but was forced to give it up after my first attempt to construct one resulted in a lawsuit by the producers of Small Wonder. I now work in commercial printing technology and moonlight as a goat herder.
I’m really good at
I like to think I write good.
The first things people usually notice about me
Hopefully nothing as I am always in disguise when out in public.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Goat-22, Goat on Rye, The Great Goatsby, Factgoatum, Goats From Underground, Goat and Punishment, The Big Goat Up Yonder by Kurt Vonnegoat, The Hero With a Thousand Goats, Of Goats and Men, The Goat in the Rye, The Goats of Wrath, Thus Goat Zarathustra, Goat, All Too Goat.

Films: 2001: A Goat Odyssey, The Goatfather, Goatfellas, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Goat, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Goat, There Will Be Goats, Dr. Strangegoat, 28 Goats Later, Let the Right Goat In, Fargoat, Goat Fiction, City of Goat, The Goat of Wall Street, Exit Through the Goat Shop, Goat Runner, Confessions of a Dangerous Goat, The Men Who Stare at Lambs.

Shows: Breaking Goat, Flight of the Goats, Goats and Recreation, Arrested Goat, Modern Goat, 30 Goat, Curb Your Goat, The Daily Goat.

Music: Radiogoat, Arcade Goat, Andrew Goat, Beach Goat, Goat Drake, Devendra Goathart, Goat Stevens, Simon & Goatfunkel, Blonde Goathead, Of Monsters and Goats, Goat Eyes, M. Goat, Broken Goat Scene, Sigur Goat, My Morning Goat, Goat Dylan, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Goats, She & Goat, The Goat Service, Goat Power, The Velvet Undergoat, Little Goat, Danger Goat, Wilgoat, Portisgoat, Lana Del Goat, A Tribe Called Goat, Neutral Goat Milk Hotel, Goats of Convenience, Fleet Goats, Grizzly Goat, Whitest Goat Alive, The Black Goats, Goat Weekend, Goat Buckley, Elliott Goat.
The six things I could never do without
Goat, goat milk, goat cheese, goat seed, scapegoat

Also, tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Goats. I wish I was a goat. Sometimes I talk to them and promise that if they speak to me I will not tell anyone else that they can do so. They haven't yet. I doubt I would be able to keep their secret anyway so it is probably for the best. I have named one Brian.
On a typical Friday night I am
Reading stuff on the internet about goats. You can find some interesting stuff on there. I read somewhere on a goat blog that due to the fact that goats do not require oxygen and can withstand extreme pressures, they can often be found searching the ocean floor for their favorite food, krill. These deep sea abilities make the goat a perfect companion for skin divers as part of the buddy system. Goats can also be taught to weld.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I previously suffered from a clinically diagnosed fear of tupperware, which I was able to overcome through exposure therapy.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 19–28
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You are interested in my junk. I have a lot of junk to get rid of, mostly odds and ends from a bygone era. Among the items for sale are a velocipede, a craniometer, a kinetoscope, a horseless sleigh, and a time machine which is shaped like a closet. I discovered its capabilities purely by accident one day when I climbed in, sat there for a bit, and emerged to find myself in the future. Which is almost exactly like the present except a little darker. I was expecting to see robots and flying cars but there weren't any.