First off, let's be honest.
This is probably going to be very, very awkward.
All of it.
Especially if we get to the point of actually interacting with each other.
Even moreso if we meet face to face.
Exciting, isn't it?
Intelligent conversation is not my forté.
However, ridiculously, hilarious, playful banter, words of encouraging widom that only make sense to me and best supporting actor in a major motion picture, I can do pretty well,
Why is everyone doing the "Sticking out your tongue, thinking you're Miley Cyrus"?
Why is this still "A Thing"?
(Its having the totally opposite effect of being attractive... on so many levels)
Bottom line,: It looks gross.
I started thinking to myself, maybe I should rotate all my pictures sideways or upside-down.
Just to make it a little frustrating.
Also, I need pictures with my cat.
Doing all the fun things we like to do together:
Tetherball, chasing lasers, pretending to he sleeping, being woken up at 4 in the morning to be fed, being drawn like one of those French girls... Etc.
I'm pretty sure that my Spirit Animal is a Quesadilla.
Most of the women on here state:
"I am not like most women."
And if they don't say that, they say something along the lines of:
"I don't know what to say here."
"This is a work in progress."
"I hate writing about myself."
"I can't be summarized in only a few paragraphs."
(Its called a Summary for a reason. SUMMARIZE!)
"I'm an open book, Just ask"
"____, ____, _____."
That doesn't help much, but it does leave the door open for some pervo-douché to swoon in and sweep you off your feet with dirty messages.
I'll try not to be a pervo-douché, but I make no promises.
On that note, OKC notifies me when someone views my profile.
I check out their profile.
So now it says I viewed their profile.
Who is really stalking who?
I've met 2 people on here who were rated at 100% Enemy.
We didn't fight to the death.
I'm kind of disappointed by that.
By the way, what does being "Down to earth" mean?
You're in tune with gravity, I get it.
I'm kinda debating whether anyone actually reads these things.
Maybe I'll just ramble on.
If its interesting enough, you'll probably read on.
Hmmm... what to say or not to say?
My self-summary scares me.
"They say he's as strong as an ox.
And as agile as a... uh... smaller ox.
He moves like a whisper...
that you only say to the moon at midnight.
He's as cunning as a fox,
taking pottery classes,
at an ivy league university...
That accepts foxes."
Yeah, that's me they're talking about...ish.
Basically, I'm complicated.
My parents made a bunch of weird babies.
They also made a bunch of pretty ones.
I hope I'm one or the other.
I'm the white sheep of my family.
(With a tinge of brown)
A lot of what I say is sarcastic.
Thing is, there's truth behind my sarcasm.
And truth is:
I'm content with where I'm at, good at what I do, and happy with who I am.
Its all based on reality.
Which all translates to:
Good fam, great friends and an awesome job.
Still a true story.
Oregonian: Portland-born, Salem/Gervais-raised,
(if you know where and what Gervais is, just stop reading now. Click the HOME button, skip this profile, forget you ever saw this. Seriously....ok, not so serious. )
Spent the last of a better part of a decade living in the burbs (Beaverton/Hillsboro).
Just recently moved into the heart of downtown Portland.
Like to think I'm an easy-going, open-minded, free-spirited, no-preservatives, MSG-free, fun, and a heck of a funny guy (or so I've been told).
I've got my shiznit together.
(That's street-talk for responsible)
A bit fearless, but not careless.
An adventure in my own comfort zone.
A phenom...in my own mind.
Really. I'm a force to be reckoned with.
I'm living vicariously through my own life.
More than two people have punched me while I've been sleeping.
(Not-so-long story... Stupid men in uniform)
They're jealous of my dreams, I think.
I believe in myself and sometimes believe others.
Strong in my beliefs and my morals.
(I donate blood with the nagging guilt that it will save an evil person's life).
Not religious, but definitely in-tune with a spiritual sense of being.
I meditate, contemplate & celebrate.
Hope to someday save the world, or at least do my part to change it.
I can picture myself starting a revolution one day.
I may not be perfect, but allow me to try.
I'm a hopeful Romantic, and a helpless Believer.
"Dork" follows me around.
"Awkward" seems attracted to me also.
I know who I am.
I wouldn't consider myself artsy-fartsy or fancy-pantsy...
Just totally me.
I'm not an angel, but I am the honest type.
Been through my ups and downs, like the rest of the world, and I still come out smiling and even laughing about it.
I may be cute, but I clean up good.
Looking for a partner-in-crime.
Or my side-kick
Better yet, My Super-Heroine
You know what I mean.
By the way, contrary to popular belief of the late 90's, if you want to be my lover... DO NOT get with my friends.
The short & sweet:
Life is good.
I'm just on a search for someone who wants to share that with me.
Friendship, more, whatever.
Lets take a chance.
Want to come with?